Very new, very frightened
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 10
My life has literally turned into a bad soap opera, I got a call yesterday to come and say bye to my dad, who is in hospice. My daughter and I went immediately, stayed a long time. When I got home, I noticed I had missed a call from my very best friend. Turns out her son was found dead floating in a bay in the Bahamas.
Not sure how much 1 person is supposed to take in a 2 week span. I have had my share of sorrow this week, but it can't even begin to compare to what my friend is now enduring. I have no words, I am completely numb.
I know I really need to get to a meeting, but this week just isn't panning out for me. I am putting my issues aside to try and help her now.
What really sucks, is this young man was my sons best friend since they were born. I honestly can't believe all this is happening.
Now I'm really scared, will this help him turn around, or will this send him deeper into drugs.
Any ideas?
Not sure how much 1 person is supposed to take in a 2 week span. I have had my share of sorrow this week, but it can't even begin to compare to what my friend is now enduring. I have no words, I am completely numb.
I know I really need to get to a meeting, but this week just isn't panning out for me. I am putting my issues aside to try and help her now.
What really sucks, is this young man was my sons best friend since they were born. I honestly can't believe all this is happening.
Now I'm really scared, will this help him turn around, or will this send him deeper into drugs.
Any ideas?
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Yes stick close to SR vent if you need to i know i did my cousin passed less than a month ago and i have lost a lot of ppl so i understand your numb esp with 2 so close but i figured il do what ive done since getting sober which is honor my fallen with my sobriety
im really sorry for your losses Asha
im really sorry for your losses Asha
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I'm very sorry to hear of everything you're having to deal with Asha!! 
The people around you need you to be the best you can be, and that's a Sober Asha, but it's far from easy.
SR is here for you for support when you need it!!
The people around you need you to be the best you can be, and that's a Sober Asha, but it's far from easy.
SR is here for you for support when you need it!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Oh lord, that's unbelievable. Your poor friend, and so hard for you too, and your son. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
All I can say is do your best to use it as an opportunity to help your son understand how much you mean to each other; how desperately you want to see him off heroin, happy and safe. He may be more open during this time because his emotions will be more raw and nearer the surface. Please God may something good come from it. Don't hold back in being honest with him, Asha. You obviously love him dearly and he will know that, which cushions the things that need to be said. Big, big hugs.
All I can say is do your best to use it as an opportunity to help your son understand how much you mean to each other; how desperately you want to see him off heroin, happy and safe. He may be more open during this time because his emotions will be more raw and nearer the surface. Please God may something good come from it. Don't hold back in being honest with him, Asha. You obviously love him dearly and he will know that, which cushions the things that need to be said. Big, big hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
Asha,
Good grief! You are not having a good July! So sorry for your losses, perhaps find a tiny bit of solace in these words from a well known, prominent author:
I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much! - Mother Theresa
As to the effect on your son -- there is no way to tell how he will react to the news.
My daughter was just a few weeks out of rehab when this happened:
There was a young lady (call her "H") that came into AD's rehab facility a few weeks after AD arrived. H was immediately befriended by AD and vice versa.
When AD left the rehab for a sober living house several sates away, H wrote a letter to AD -- I have never read that letter and did not quiz AD as to its contents. All I know of the letter is that it contained a phone number for H's mother.
A few weeks after AD got to her sober living house, she called and sounded very bummed out - told us that H had signed herself out of the rehab "against medical advice" just a few days after AD had left - this was not good news - H was less than half way through her scheduled program.
H lived on the street for a while and had just been found dead of a heroin overdose.
AD asked us to watch the local paper for any obituary. Excused herself after just a short period of time on the phone.
As parents, we had the same thoughts - "they were close, will she go back to the drugs?" We spent a mostly sleepless night worrying, I finally could not handle it any longer and called AD the next afternoon.
As it turned out AD had spent several hours on the phone after she talked to us - passing the news along to other kids from the rehab who had also known H, and 45 minutes on the phone with H's mother sharing in her grief.
Sometimes they really surprise you.
One day at a time,
Jim
Good grief! You are not having a good July! So sorry for your losses, perhaps find a tiny bit of solace in these words from a well known, prominent author:
I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much! - Mother Theresa
As to the effect on your son -- there is no way to tell how he will react to the news.
My daughter was just a few weeks out of rehab when this happened:
There was a young lady (call her "H") that came into AD's rehab facility a few weeks after AD arrived. H was immediately befriended by AD and vice versa.
When AD left the rehab for a sober living house several sates away, H wrote a letter to AD -- I have never read that letter and did not quiz AD as to its contents. All I know of the letter is that it contained a phone number for H's mother.
A few weeks after AD got to her sober living house, she called and sounded very bummed out - told us that H had signed herself out of the rehab "against medical advice" just a few days after AD had left - this was not good news - H was less than half way through her scheduled program.
H lived on the street for a while and had just been found dead of a heroin overdose.
AD asked us to watch the local paper for any obituary. Excused herself after just a short period of time on the phone.
As parents, we had the same thoughts - "they were close, will she go back to the drugs?" We spent a mostly sleepless night worrying, I finally could not handle it any longer and called AD the next afternoon.
As it turned out AD had spent several hours on the phone after she talked to us - passing the news along to other kids from the rehab who had also known H, and 45 minutes on the phone with H's mother sharing in her grief.
Sometimes they really surprise you.
One day at a time,
Jim
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 5
I'm pretty sure the state will pay for methadone maintenence if she's pregnant and if he is homeless and or has low income, he's eligible for state insurance which covers methadone. It saved me and my wife who are expecting a child in 2 months. I had been shooting in every body part, sleeping on concrete daily for 22 months, in and out of jail, inpatients, outpatients, Suboxone(which I can't afford) to being clean, not homeless, a job, and happy as ever, and the only thing that saved both of us was getting on methadone and sticking through tough times.
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