Marcus

I know many people on this site are not from the US so started the thread with SOBER HOLIDAY, but obviously those of us in the states know the 4th of July is just 2 short days away. I mean I didn’t need a reason to drink or get high, but often Holidays and all the festivities going on gave me an excuse to turn things up a notch.

I have some time under my belt now thankfully, but some of those early Holidays were quite stressful times. You just want to be normal and go to the cookouts or festivals to see fireworks, but it is a slippery slope. In the end I had to protect myself and my sobriety because I knew how hard it was to break the cycle and I was so tired of starting over again. Who knows if I picked up that first drink or drug starting over again might not even be possible.

No matter what recovery program you use for me Acceptance was huge. Accepting the fact that I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. I don’t care if you think it is a disease or beast or mental illness or spiritual malady or lack of willpower in the end when I drank or drugged my life would get worse never better. No I didn’t always fall down the rabbit hole every time I did it, but eventually I would find myself more hopeless than before.

Being an alcoholic / drug addict doesn’t define me. I am a lot of other things. I am a husband, father, son, brother, coworker, and a human being. I am a good person and deserve better than what drugs and alcohol were giving me. So this might help you or not. It helps me just writing it though. When I start to feel off and drinking or drugging sounds like a good idea I must accept the facts. Today I accept the fact that when I use drugs or alcohol bad things happen. Bad things can happen without drugs or alcohol, but in the end they only made it worse never better.

RDBplus3

July 4th Weekend ...
Going to the AA International Convention in Atlanta ... yay!

jtoliver30

It's not just former addicts that deal with this kind of stuff, so you're not alone. My gf is a bikini competitor with a show coming up. You think we get to enjoy the holiday eating and drinking? Absolutely not. A little different situation but tons of people make sacrifices around the holidays. It's more mental than anything. Enjoy your holiday!

saoutchik

Great post Marcus, thank you

Soberwolf

Exellent post Marcus

PurpleKnight

Fantastic post Marcus!!

Saskia

Love your post, Marcus! Very clear and honest thinking.

Me63

Great post Marcus just what I needed right here, right now.. thank you.

thomas11

Add me to the list of people who thinks that was a great post. Well done friend.

Dee74

Thanks Marcus - great post
Happy 4th

D

Hevyn

This is really appreciated Marcus. I remember those first few holidays - I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, & like I was missing out. It's so much better to be clear headed and in the moment - we don't need to get numb & stupid.

Bailey3

Thank you. Great post!

ChloeRose63

Great post at a time when I really need to get a grip on my emotions. I am very frustrated with this holiday because everyone around me here on the lake is celebrating and drinking. I am feeling aloof and I need to find a way to 'fit in'. HELP!

Hevyn

Chloe, It doesn't stay that way forever. We promise the anxiety eases up. I spent decades drinking - but now I rarely think about it. Things will get less intense.

ChloeRose63

Thanks. I just feel like I will spoil everyone's 'fun' because I really don't want to be around their kind of celebrating.

Pondlady

Wonderful post! I remember my first sober July 4th, I was just weeks sober, and it was difficult. I never felt better than I did on the morning of July 5th, no hangover

Pondlady

Chloe, Find something you enjoy doing and steer clear of those who find their "fun" through drinking. You'll enjoy yourself and won't have a hangover the next day!

45ncounting

Hi ChoeRose63, Please don't worry about spoiling their fun!! You'll have the last laugh in the morning when they are nursing horrid hang-overs!! I'm in day 4 and am in terrible shape & I will see to it that I must lock myself inside house for weeks as I can't be sick and tired anymore!! Be well, 45n

Anna

I hope that all my American friends have a safe and happy Fourth of July weekend.

Marcus

So here we are again. LABOR DAY WEEKEND! It has been awfully quiet around here - I hope everyone is behaving themselves. I am doing my best! Actually things are good. Tomorrow will be watching 2 of my kids march in a Labor Day Parade and helping out with my sons scouts. No lying, cheating, or stealing. Imagine that! No trips down heroin highway for breakfast. Who am I? 3+ years past that and so dam grateful. It has been a bumpy ride, but a hell of a ride nonetheless. I feel like I can take on just about anything these days. The fear and hopelessness a memory replaced by gratitude and a peace I had never felt before. All will be okay. Anyway just wanted to pop in - I haven't posted much lately. I promise anyone out there it can be done. One foot in front of the other a day at a time.

This song might not be totally appropriate, but popped on in my playlist and makes me smile (I know not my usual Lamb of God). Life's too short people. Don't waste another second!!!