Soberwolf

Exellent post D

Aellyce

1. Once I really made that decision, yes. My problem was that while I was fully aware of my alcoholism and how it affected every area of my life for years, I was still vacillating and often buried my head into the sand. Well, the bottle. Since I made that firm decision and started acting on it with the mindset "no matter what...", there has not been return for me.

2. This is my first real attempt since I started drinking in my teens, although it did not really manifest as a problem until my early 30's. I quit just before my 40th birthday. During the last year of my career though, I did try to just not drink for a day, or two, or rarely three at a time... but each time epic fail with anything longer. I think I did not actually really attempt to get sober, it was more that I was no longer able to drink everyday because it made me so sick.

3. Yes very definitely. But it did not change by itself magically... I've changed it with a lot of work.

4. For me the key was really making that decision to get sober for good, and then working on maintaining it action everyday. I did not rely on direct external help or supervision so much, other than SR and radically revamping my daily activities, it was more using whatever method I found helpful to maintain my motivation and to get through the monster cravings I had initially, for quite a long time. My idea was that I try it this way, and if it fails, I'll seek out some of those more supervised approaches like immersing myself into AA, formal treatments, etc. The idea is still the same: while I absolutely not plan on relapsing, I keep in mind that if it gets there, I will start with those more "controlled" treatments rather than trying again the same way.

greens

I had been trying for a while when something just clicked. I can't explain it but I haven't picked up a drink since December 26th 2010. Nothing crazy happened on Christmas, but I guess I had a moment of clarity where I threw everything away

freshstart57

When I quit drinking I quit. I quit without reserve or limitation or condition. I was quitting no matter the thoughts or urges or cravings - I decided in advance that none of these would ever affect my decision.

That was four years ago next month.

I believe that I am nothing special in any way, and that anyone can do this too. It may be difficult, or somewhat difficult, or very difficult, but it is not impossible. If it is possible, then to succeed you must decide that you will not fail, and that you deserve everything that comes with a life free from addiction.

Demand success of yourself and accept nothing less.

Fly N Buy

1. Did you make the decision to quit immediately and that was it? (like a switch going off)

Yes, but not until I reached the point of willingness and desire to change.

2. Did you try multiple times to quit but fail and eventually find a way to stay sober?
Yes. I drank for many years and swore off drinking and/or attempted to moderate many time > 10

3. Did your attitude to drinking change and it lose its appeal perhaps?

Yes, but not at first. Drinking for me was a game - Russian roulette. The appeal to me was I did not care if I lived or died........whatever happened, I did not give a crap.


4. Or was it a different way?

I made a decision I would do whatever it took to quit - one day at a time. AA is the method and program in which I'm engaged daily coupled with posting and reading daily on SR. One without the other for me probably would not have worked. The combination of the two resources has gotten me over a year - 13 months next week, but who's counting

There is hope for those who are ready, is my experience. It takes work but sobriety is truly like being reborn - at least for me it has been.

Thanks for the useful thread

PurpleKnight

Option 2 sounds about right, I tried and went round in circles for a long time, I wanted to drink as much as I wanted and not have the consequences and until I finally accepted that it was unachievable and I needed to part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis nothing changed.

Next up was building daily support into my plan and changing up the activities I got involved in and the people I hung out with, completely revolutionising my lifestyle away from one that facilitated drinking, new routines, new habits!!

Sobriety I achieved through action, tweaking my plan until drinking was not part of my life anymore!!

Fly N Buy

1. Did you make the decision to quit immediately and that was it? (like a switch going off)

No - It took me years to realize that I was an alcoholic. Strong denial. I didn't really start drinking heavily until I was 43 when my sister was killed. Before that I could take it or leave it. I find it interesting that I became an alcoholic relatively later in life.






I was older when I started to drink in an alcoholic manner developing into alcoholism - but was an alcoholic for a very, very long time. Even before I picked up my first drink.........Perhaps I was born an alcoholic - genetics - as both my parents were alcoholics. Don't know, not a doctor or scientist.

There' s a lot more to being an alcoholic than drinking alcoholically, Once I began to understand this, I found there was hope and a solution........That has made all the difference.

For me, I'd be fighting not drinking daily and have little results if I simply drank too much.

FBL

My anxiety became so bad that I felt I had to stop or die...I decided to stop.

Notmyrealname

1) No.
2) Yes; I have "failed" to quit every time I tried but the last time, but as I am sober today I don't think any of those efforts were failures.
3) Yes.

The reasons for my drinking were both simple and complex. A lot of it was medicating my hangover / avoiding withdrawals. A lot of it was just ingrained habit, from doing it over and over and over. And Some of it was escape. (and probably some other reasons, too.. I liked the taste, and I liked to catch a buzz -- not really abnormal stuff there)

But when I managed to get off the sauce for an extended period (few weeks? at first anyway) a lot of that changed. I wasn't hung over or suffering from withdrawals, and I was breaking the habit, and after prolonged sobriety I found I didn't have so much to escape from anymore.

Also I got a clearer perspective on the opportunity costs of drinking. You give up a lot to be a drunk. I've gone off the wagon 2-3 times over the past 2-3 years and every time it's just not worth all the bother.

4) I got better at being sober through practice, and got out of practice at being a drunk. It gets easier -- you adjust, you reach equilibrium. You learn what works and what doesn't work. After awhile I found I'd "come to terms" with the new (old?) sober existence, the "real life" that I'd been hiding from behind a bottle.

kind a cheesy last line there; if I had an editor I think she'd red-pencil it and send it back.. oh well

DuhDave

Excellent Thread !

DD

DefconOne

If you are a confirmed alcoholic two things will eventually stop you 1) Death by Alcohol 2) Jail Term. If you enter a treatment program and go to regular group counseling sessions like AA its possible to stop drinking. I have met many who have quit.

MelindaFlowers

1. Did you make the decision to quit immediately and that was it? (like a switch going off)

My sobriety was not planned. Sure, I had wanted to stop for years and was always envious of everybody who's daily lives were not ruled by planning to drink and drinking. The proof was everywhere I looked: people living nice lives without drinking but I couldn't seem to live that way. I worshiped alcohol. You could have asked me these things and these would have been my answers:

You have $10 in your pocket and no food or booze at home. Which will you buy? Alcohol.

Your mother invited you over to watch Jeopardy and play board games. You can go or turn her down and stay home to drink alone. What do you choose? Alone at home, drinking.

There is a party but there will only be about 3-4 beers for you to drink all evening. Want to go? No. I would rather stay home and drink alone.

I could go on and on but you get the point.

My quit was not planned but when it was time, boy did I know it. I woke up with the worst hangover (I believe) that any human being has ever had in the history of the world. It was the type of hangover where I think most people would have gone to the hospital. I had terrible pains all over my body, particularly in my rib area on both sides and in my back. My throat was on fire from acid reflux. The headache was so bad it really couldn't classify as pain. It was like my brain was soaking in battery acid.

I knew on June 27, 2014 that I was dying.

I stopped that day and haven't had a drink since. I am astonished to say that at one year of sobriety I have no need, desire, or even passing thoughts of drinking. I am never drinking alcohol again.

The better part of the year was spent dealing with severe PAWS. If you haven't read up on that, google it right away. It's basically phantom hangover symptoms that last for months, coming and going, as your body heals. Boy was I surprised to wake up on some days at 5 months of sobriety and take a few seconds to wonder, why do I feel hungover? It's pretty fascinating and scary but it's not so scary when you know you're never going to drink again. How do you know that you know it? You'll know it when you are there. I like to say that I actually couldn't be an alcoholic anymore. I couldn't drink anymore. I literally could not, nor did I want to. And this is coming from the person who thought I would have a nervous breakdown if I couldn't have my twelve drinks, seven nights a week, 365 days a year.

Your next question:

2. Did you try multiple times to quit but fail and eventually find a way to stay sober?

I had never really tried before. I had half-tried probably 1,000 times, like we all did, where I'd wake up, hungover, and think "God, I am not drinking today. I have to stop." I'd be at the liquor store by 5 pm and probably end up drinking more than the night before. Once, in 2010, I 90 percent tried and I made it to ten days but I kept the option open for drinking. When I stopped that time, it was in June 2010. I was already planning a New Years drink in June. I knew that I would drink sometime in the future. I wanted to and you bet I did, exactly ten days after I said "No more!" and meant it.

I can honestly say that I only actually tried once and that one time was the time it worked.

I didn't know what true desperation was until all of a sudden I did. I was hungover every single day work from 2008-2014. I did not know what it was like to be awake and not hungover. Alcohol didn't even cure the hangovers by 2014. I drank with a splitting headache, trembling hands, and racing heart. It was like this from the first drink to the 12th.

3. Did your attitude to drinking change and it lose its appeal perhaps?

Call it divine intervention or just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Alcohol lost any and all appeal. I suppose it helped that my body was so damaged that I couldn't get buzzed anymore. How many drinks or years does it take for your body to stop processing alcohol for a buzz? For me, about nine years of daily, heavy drinking with hundreds of blackouts mixed in.

I could not drink anymore.

babybingo

MelindaFlowers your post really moved me. Wow. I am so glad you have stopped drinking. Truly inspiring.

I just want to say such a massive thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences so far- it's tremendously interesting to read such varied responses. Thanks again

CaseyW

1. Did you make the decision to quit immediately and that was it? (like a switch going off)

I wish. I went to my first AA meeting on July 22, 2002. My life was in shambles due in large part to my drinking. A few weeks later when my life started to come back together, I decided that drinking was not the real problem so went back to it.

2. Did you try multiple times to quit but fail and eventually find a way to stay sober?

Since that day in July 2002, I have said I'm quitting hundreds and hundreds of times. Most of those hundreds of times were carbon copies of that first one--something was going wrong in my life and once that problem went away, I thought that drinking again was ok.

I'm on day 57 now, my second-longest period of continuous sobriety since July 2002. My sobriety was definitely not planned this time. I woke up on May 8 with a raging hangover and my usual declaration of "I'm never drinking again." But something clicked this time and it's turned into something different.

I like to think I've found a way to live sober this time. In large part it involves very active participation here on SR. I have built some accountability to myself and to others this time around. I have made multiple visits here a day a necessary part of my daily routine. I have tried to ask for help when I need it and have tried to help others when I can, even if it's nothing more than saying "Welcome" to someone posting for the first time. There is an amazing amount of power in the simple act of one addict helping another.

I have also tried to live the mantra, "I don't have to take that first drink no matter what" in all aspects of my life. I've repeated it enough to myself and others now that I think it's coming true for me today. This time definitely feels different--more solid, more substantial--than any of my previous periods of sobriety, which as I said were usually about cleaning up some other mess in my life (big or small) more than they were about my drinking.

3. Did your attitude to drinking change and it lose its appeal perhaps?

For the most part, drinking lost its appeal to me more than ten years ago. Almost every single time I went out drinking I knew in the back of my mind that I was going to have to stop someday and that I was making a bad decision by taking that first one. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still had some good times drinking over the last ten years, but even most of those times were tinged with a bit of "I shouldn't be doing this. It's not for me."

4. Or was it a different way?

No.

CaseyW

Great post all the way around but this one sentence in particular is amazingly true.

Venecia

There were many, many reasons for me to quit. And not a single good one to keep drinking.

Still, it took me a while. I wish I'd started this journey earlier but there is nothing I can do to change the past and so I must keep focused on the present and the future.

I have a good friend for whom weight has been a lifelong challenge. More than anyone I know, she can take off the pounds. But then they come back -- and more. It has been sad to see what that's done to her. At one point, she weighed more than 300 lbs.

Drinking was like that for me. Over the years, I made half-assed attempts at moderation; each time, the volume and frequency came back at even worse rates.

Weight was one of the many, many reasons to quit. And I took some sad inspiration from my friend's situation: It had to be a lifelong commitment to change and good health.

So I guess that's my way of saying my answer is a combination of 1 and 2. But once I shut off the switch, I knew there was no looking back.

It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. And, hands down, the best thing I've ever done. It'll be two years next month.

Oh, and I am a lot thinner. That's hard work, too. But also very worthwhile.

strategery

1. No. I knew that I should quit since I knew it was a matter of time before health problems began to show up, yet I was still on the fence when I first came here. With spending time here along with some of my experiences, I found and decided drinking was no longer worth it and committed myself to sobriety.

2. I entertained the idea of getting sober for a number of years, but I didn't know how to go about it and the work I needed to do to get sober. While I had a couple of missteps with drinking when I first got here, I got right back on and have now been sober continuously for over 7 months with the help and support of everyone here.

3. I don't think the appeal has so much been lost since I do get cravings on occasion, but it's more that I am happier without the alcohol and I don't want to get back onto that hamster wheel again. It's been more of an attitude shift.