foryoumyson

Just need some advice so Sunday was father's day I had a good day with my family. I called my father to wish him a happy Father's day no answer I had no intent on seeing him because he's constantly drinking and it's just ugly now and I don't want to be around him I feel awful but I can't do that anymore. Anyways he came over last night drunk of course after I got out of work . He wanted to just fight with me physically and mentally. That I should of went up to see him and this and that. I kind of felt bad but it's just a pitty party then he went outside to his car for like 30 minutes I thought he left. But he left his unopened pack of ciggs in my house so I think that's why he came back but when he came back he used the bathroom and then said someday father's day will mean something to you . Like I'm a father to it does mean something not once has he said happy Father's day to me or anything he dosent even get me a card because I'm not "his father". So I was just wondering was I right or was I wrong . I mean I'm trying to do my best to stay sober and stay away from negativity like that. He talks so foolish now dosent even treat me like a son makes stupid sex remarks and other stupid things it's just weird. When he came to my house he was so drunk it's just sickening I don't want that in my life anymore. I want to cut both my parents out but it seems to be very hard has anyone else done anything like that before ?

doggonecarl

It must be painful to deal with your father and his behavior. I have no advice, but I commend you for staying sober and agree that you need to do what you have to do to protect your sobriety and ensure that the relationship you have with your son is a healthy one.

Soberwolf

I dont talk to my dad ive accepted hes never going to change sometimes theres too much water under the bridge

Maybe one day but im not holding my breath

foryoumyson

Is your father an alcoholic to sober wolf? I'm basically going to cut off all my family there all selfish and just leachers. All about them selfs and no one else . Most of them are drunks so it explains alot . My mother was watching my son the other day and he fell and hit his face on concrete had a bad scrape on his face and she blamed him for that and he needs to watch where he's going he's 2 years old. The more sober I get the more I see my eyes are finally open I guess .

Anna

I did cut my parents out of my life, almost. I never lived near them as an adult, so that part was easy. I would see them briefly once a year. They never wanted to both to visit me and my children. Also, I never left my children with my parents for more than a few minutes because they were toxic. Of course you can't blame your 2 year old for falling. That's what toddlers do.

I had a childhood of abuse and disrespect and I tried enormously to turn it around in early adulthood when I had my children. But, of course, my parents had no interest in changing.

I knew I had to distance myself from them in order to stay sober. It sounds like you might need to do that too. I have strong feelings that just because someone is a parent , they don't have the right to abuse and ridicule us.

Ruby2

Happy Father's day. You are doing something huge for yourself. Getting and staying sober. This will benefit you and your son.

As for your Dad. I've watched the interactions my husband had with his father and it's painful for him. They have no contact at all. But my father in law is a drunk. And can be abusive. It's no bad thing for you to steer clear of him and insert more positive people in your life. You did nothing wrong. Hang in there

Soberwolf

As my father says he has a gift he can turn the tap off pffffft he is a blatent alcoholic but thats not why we don't talk

Dee74

Hi FYMS

It's not easy to cut people out but I did it, barring the odd phone call - of course my parents live in a different city.

I believe you have a right to decide who comes to your house and a right to insist they're sober, especially if you have a child there.

D

foryoumyson

Thanks for everyone's replys very helpful. I just want to be sober and have no drama in my life that's all don't need it. I'm so ready this time around. Been trying long enough

thomas11

I'm speculating but with your parents, its the addiction they have that is talking, not the "real" them. As we know, booze changes people, and usually not for the better. I'm sure its unsettling, but this is about you, your future, and your sobriety correct?