Day one in the book!! Does the self hate get better?
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 31
Day one in the book!! Does the self hate get better?
I have bad anxiety and my meds stop working when I drink. I notice the first few days after drinking a lot, I feel such self loathing and embarrassment. I hate this feeling and know the only way it will go away is if the alcohol goes away!! Heres to day 2!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi, here’s to day 2 and many more.
Each day we are stopped we get a bit better depending on the individual.
Alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling, insidious and progressive. Many as they progress and feel better have a tendency to forget what they felt like while drinking and start thinking harmful thoughts like it wasn’t that bad, maybe now I can have a couple, I’ll try drinking in moderation or only on Friday with my “friends” and on and on. I did all that + and life was miserable with the fear of never being able to sober up as recovery after a relapse is very difficult.
BE WELL
Each day we are stopped we get a bit better depending on the individual.
Alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling, insidious and progressive. Many as they progress and feel better have a tendency to forget what they felt like while drinking and start thinking harmful thoughts like it wasn’t that bad, maybe now I can have a couple, I’ll try drinking in moderation or only on Friday with my “friends” and on and on. I did all that + and life was miserable with the fear of never being able to sober up as recovery after a relapse is very difficult.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 31
Hi, here’s to day 2 and many more. Each day we are stopped we get a bit better depending on the individual. Alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling, insidious and progressive. Many as they progress and feel better have a tendency to forget what they felt like while drinking and start thinking harmful thoughts like it wasn’t that bad, maybe now I can have a couple, I’ll try drinking in moderation or only on Friday with my “friends” and on and on. I did all that + and life was miserable with the fear of never being able to sober up as recovery after a relapse is very difficult. BE WELL
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 31
Great job on making it through the first day WP. Keep going. The first 7 days or so are the toughest physically.
You can do it and it will get easier. You can never let your guard down, but the feelings of worthlessness, the anxiety, the negativity, the daily stresses from drinking will lessen with time.
All of the effort you put in to your sobriety is so worth what you will get out... trust me and keep going.
Great job!
You can do it and it will get easier. You can never let your guard down, but the feelings of worthlessness, the anxiety, the negativity, the daily stresses from drinking will lessen with time.
All of the effort you put in to your sobriety is so worth what you will get out... trust me and keep going.
Great job!
Good job getting through day one, I came back 29 days ago after slipping back to daily drinking. I was pouring myself a glass of wine the second I walked in the door from work, and of course it was never just one glass of wine.
Glad you are on this journey with me!
Glad you are on this journey with me!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 31
Thanks everyone!!! The biggest thing that I have to remember is that once I feel normal again, I can't go back. That is what I have been doing for a while now and the drinking gets MUCH worse each time cause my tolerance is built up. I have to stay strong, I know now I can't drink in moderation!!
Does the self hate get better?
As Dee74 is fond of saying, if it didn't get better none of us would stick with sobriety!
Being addicted made it really difficult to step out of my own head and see things objectively. For months after I quit drinking the enduring effects of persistent alcohol use effected my brain in ways I never realized; anxiety, anhedonia, and that relentless voice in my head telling me it wasn't worth it. I was accustomed to immediate relief. Being patient while things improved was not my cup of tea! But...
First you get better, then life gets better.
Congrats on your progress!
Stopping drinking may help initially, but it won't stop the self-hatred and anxiety on it's own. Alcoholics tend to have an aversion to their reality, and feel emotional pain very intensely. The alcohol works for us because it temporarily eases the pain, and changes our perception of reality and ourselves.
I found it incredibly difficult to cope emotionally without drink, and without learning new strategies to cope with life and my feelings. Thankfully I managed to brave it, and drag myself to AA. It's thanks to the 12-step programme and the support, fellowship and understanding of people at meetings, who understand my thinking that I've managed to recognise some of the basic things I was doing / thinking wrong and develop a different perspective on life without the false crutch of alcohol.
I know that not everyone wants to consider AA (for various reasons). If this is the case for you, I can suggest a couple of books that really helped me through some of the hardest periods. Living Sober, and Monkey on my Shoulder were both really helpful, and are available to buy and read online, or very cheaply in paper versions via Amazon.
Wishing you every success with your sobriety, and your recovery.
I found it incredibly difficult to cope emotionally without drink, and without learning new strategies to cope with life and my feelings. Thankfully I managed to brave it, and drag myself to AA. It's thanks to the 12-step programme and the support, fellowship and understanding of people at meetings, who understand my thinking that I've managed to recognise some of the basic things I was doing / thinking wrong and develop a different perspective on life without the false crutch of alcohol.
I know that not everyone wants to consider AA (for various reasons). If this is the case for you, I can suggest a couple of books that really helped me through some of the hardest periods. Living Sober, and Monkey on my Shoulder were both really helpful, and are available to buy and read online, or very cheaply in paper versions via Amazon.
Wishing you every success with your sobriety, and your recovery.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 31
Thank you all so much for caring!! My meds work for my anxiety and I am good if I don't drink. I just have to stop being so stupid to think "oh it's just one bottle", cause it never is. I need accountability!!
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