Step 3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I got on my knees and pleaded with a god I didn't understand nor totally even believe in - to take my life and will under it's care. I remember one particular time asking specifically that I be protected most at the times I was unbelieving, or forgetting to do the things I needed to do in order to stay sober. Asking for a little extra insurance 
. I believe that prayer worked as it's close to 31 years later and I haven't picked up a drink. And there have been more than a few occasions where I feel my willpower alone would not have been sufficient. I do feel protected. Whether that be by god, the universe, my higher self, or any other ubiquitous sort of energy in the universe no longer matters to me. I still don't entirely understand my HP, but I call it God nonetheless, and it works.
I agree with Coldfusion that regular attendance at 3rd step meetings is really helpful. So was reading lots of literature on the 3rd step. I got a lot out of a book called The Steps to Happiness, by Joe Klass. It's been revised and now sounds like an infomercial for 12 step programs, but for me it got to the core of what the 12 steps were all about.
I had a sponsor that continually pounded into my head, that the 3rd step meant EXACTLY what it said. That I was turning MY LIFE, and MY WILL over to the CARE of god, as I understood him. My only job was to first actually do that, and then trust that it was so, whenever any doubt arose. What that meant was I had to trust and believe that once I made the act of turning my life and will over, I was protected and guided. Regardless of what I thought. It didn't mean I was going to be perfect. It didn't mean I was going to now do only "God's will". It meant I had to accept everything as it was... whether I agreed with it or not.
I know I'm getting long winded but want to share a story that stuck with me regarding this. I had just celebrated 1 yr. sober and was feeling pretty good. I took a speaking commitment outside of my area, and at the end of the meeting a gentleman approached me, seeming to really want and need to talk. He stuttered, badly. For whatever reasons I couldn't handle it (I still had a lot of issues) and lied to him telling him I had people waiting outside and had to go. His face dropped, and I felt absolutely horrible. I felt he really needed to talk, and well... I dropped the ball. Bigtime, IMO.
When I got home I shared it with my sponsor. He asked if I had turned my life and will over to the care of God that day. I just so happened to have done so, said yes, and then he said, "Then you did exactly what you were supposed to do in that situation". I argued. He argued better. He convinced me that for whatever reason, one I'll never know, I was not supposed to be speaking with that guy. He may have needed to get his questions answered by someone else, I may have said something that could have mislead him, whatever. My only job from that point on was to practice trusting that my life and will were NOW UNDER GOD'S CARE.
It clicked. I got it, and I've come to believe it to be absolutely true. So long as I'm sincere about this step.
The 3rd step didn't make me a saint. It didn't keep me from making mistakes. It didn't teach me the difference between "my" will and "god's" will. To try and decide what god's will is would actually be attempting to play god again. What it did do was teach me to trust in the natural order of things, and in doing so I slowly began healing over time. I am a completely different being than the person I was in August of 1984. Or of '94, and '04 for that matter. I believe my practice of, and trust in this 3rd step has had everything to do with that, as it opened the door to everything that followed.
. I believe that prayer worked as it's close to 31 years later and I haven't picked up a drink. And there have been more than a few occasions where I feel my willpower alone would not have been sufficient. I do feel protected. Whether that be by god, the universe, my higher self, or any other ubiquitous sort of energy in the universe no longer matters to me. I still don't entirely understand my HP, but I call it God nonetheless, and it works.I agree with Coldfusion that regular attendance at 3rd step meetings is really helpful. So was reading lots of literature on the 3rd step. I got a lot out of a book called The Steps to Happiness, by Joe Klass. It's been revised and now sounds like an infomercial for 12 step programs, but for me it got to the core of what the 12 steps were all about.
I had a sponsor that continually pounded into my head, that the 3rd step meant EXACTLY what it said. That I was turning MY LIFE, and MY WILL over to the CARE of god, as I understood him. My only job was to first actually do that, and then trust that it was so, whenever any doubt arose. What that meant was I had to trust and believe that once I made the act of turning my life and will over, I was protected and guided. Regardless of what I thought. It didn't mean I was going to be perfect. It didn't mean I was going to now do only "God's will". It meant I had to accept everything as it was... whether I agreed with it or not.
I know I'm getting long winded but want to share a story that stuck with me regarding this. I had just celebrated 1 yr. sober and was feeling pretty good. I took a speaking commitment outside of my area, and at the end of the meeting a gentleman approached me, seeming to really want and need to talk. He stuttered, badly. For whatever reasons I couldn't handle it (I still had a lot of issues) and lied to him telling him I had people waiting outside and had to go. His face dropped, and I felt absolutely horrible. I felt he really needed to talk, and well... I dropped the ball. Bigtime, IMO.
When I got home I shared it with my sponsor. He asked if I had turned my life and will over to the care of God that day. I just so happened to have done so, said yes, and then he said, "Then you did exactly what you were supposed to do in that situation". I argued. He argued better. He convinced me that for whatever reason, one I'll never know, I was not supposed to be speaking with that guy. He may have needed to get his questions answered by someone else, I may have said something that could have mislead him, whatever. My only job from that point on was to practice trusting that my life and will were NOW UNDER GOD'S CARE.
It clicked. I got it, and I've come to believe it to be absolutely true. So long as I'm sincere about this step.
The 3rd step didn't make me a saint. It didn't keep me from making mistakes. It didn't teach me the difference between "my" will and "god's" will. To try and decide what god's will is would actually be attempting to play god again
. What it did do was teach me to trust in the natural order of things, and in doing so I slowly began healing over time. I am a completely different being than the person I was in August of 1984. Or of '94, and '04 for that matter. I believe my practice of, and trust in this 3rd step has had everything to do with that, as it opened the door to everything that followed.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
I live to be useful to others
I ask my higher power to inspire me to be useful to others, to get me out of my own way, to help me stop trying to be a god.....
It's a process, one that made sense when I got past step 7......
I ask my higher power to inspire me to be useful to others, to get me out of my own way, to help me stop trying to be a god.....
It's a process, one that made sense when I got past step 7......
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