Does your AV have a face-body-fur?
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Does your AV have a face-body-fur?
Just reading alphaomega's thread and it was brought up that alpha's personification of his AV is a witchy Medusa head. Art's is a shape shifter.
haennie suggested we start a thread about it. Drawings or visual aids were suggested.
I'll continue.
My AV seems to be kind of like a mini me but with my head and a baby's body. He communicates by psychic means and doesn't say any actual words. He just cries and whines whenever he wants something.
I'll work on a drawing this weekend.
haennie suggested we start a thread about it. Drawings or visual aids were suggested.
I'll continue.
My AV seems to be kind of like a mini me but with my head and a baby's body. He communicates by psychic means and doesn't say any actual words. He just cries and whines whenever he wants something.
I'll work on a drawing this weekend.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Love it ! 
Medusa reminds me of what I used to feel and look like the morning after a binge. Snakes coming out of everywhere in my head, but still attached.
Haggard and in perpetual tortuous pain. Demanding to be fed. The Great Destroyer.
One glance from her, and you are turned to stone.
It's a poignant reminder of what is to come should I choose return to alco hell.
Medusa reminds me of what I used to feel and look like the morning after a binge. Snakes coming out of everywhere in my head, but still attached.
Haggard and in perpetual tortuous pain. Demanding to be fed. The Great Destroyer.
One glance from her, and you are turned to stone.
It's a poignant reminder of what is to come should I choose return to alco hell.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Great idea everyone. I look forward to reading!
My AV experience does not have a face-body-fur, but is insidious much like I think of the devil. Something that you cannot see in real time but feel greatly nonetheless. Not like the wind or a force in itself, but when combined with my mind and body has great potential and capacity to serve its own purpose. I suppose the AV is like a virus; not alive but requires life to sustain itself and given the opportunity can do so successfully to varying degrees until I, and everything around me, am decimated.
Or, it is like an evil potato clock, taking the energy from the potatoes as they decompose just so it can reflect the time.
Scary.
My AV experience does not have a face-body-fur, but is insidious much like I think of the devil. Something that you cannot see in real time but feel greatly nonetheless. Not like the wind or a force in itself, but when combined with my mind and body has great potential and capacity to serve its own purpose. I suppose the AV is like a virus; not alive but requires life to sustain itself and given the opportunity can do so successfully to varying degrees until I, and everything around me, am decimated.
Or, it is like an evil potato clock, taking the energy from the potatoes as they decompose just so it can reflect the time.
Scary.
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Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Mine looks and sounds just like me. And it uses the same voice as the one that tells me to brush my teeth at night. And to call Mom on Sundays.
It reminds me of that Star Trek episode with the two Captain Kirks. The "good" Captain Kirk and the "evil" Captain Kirk.
Very irritating.
It reminds me of that Star Trek episode with the two Captain Kirks. The "good" Captain Kirk and the "evil" Captain Kirk.
Very irritating.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I always found it fascinating too, that when alcoholics are going through DT's the images described are always horrifying and demonic in nature.
Couldn't it just as easy be an angelic experience ?
It's called "spirits" for a good reason, I think. :/
Couldn't it just as easy be an angelic experience ?
It's called "spirits" for a good reason, I think. :/
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Originally Posted by alphaomega 
I always found it fascinating too, that when alcoholics are going through DT's the images described are always horrifying and demonic in nature.
Couldn't it just as easy be an angelic experience ?
It's called "spirits" for a good reason, I think. :/
Couldn't it just as easy be an angelic experience ?
It's called "spirits" for a good reason, I think. :/
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 94
My AV is Hans Gruber, the villian from the first Die Hard movie, although without the gun. Well dressed, educated, polite and ruthless.
We have full conversations and I write some of them down. Here is my latest.
AV: You have been doing great. I know you are feeling better, and I think we need to look at the big picture, here. Let me ask you something. If you could have drinking be anything you wanted in your life, wouldn’t it be that you could have a couple drinks whenever you wanted and then stop whenever you wanted?
TEN: I don’t know. Maybe.
AV: Well, how are you ever going to get there unless you practice? Why don’t we go get a bottle of something and practice? You could have 1 or 2 and stop. You could also afford to buy a really good single malt scotch that you like, since you are going to make it last for a while. Let’s practice moderation until we get it right.
TEN: This is a new one, isn’t it? I don’t remember hearing this one before.
AV: Yes, thank you for noticing. You haven’t been sober like this recently, so it’s my job to try out new things on you. So what do you think?
TEN: Okay, let me get this straight. I’m not drinking at all right now, and I’m feeling pretty good, better every day. You want me to start drinking more than I am, so I can drink less than I did? Do you know how dumb that sounds?
AV: It made sense when I first said it, right?
TEN: I think I need to give you a better answer to your original question. If I could have anything I wanted about drinking, it would be that drinking would never, ever affect my life in a negative way. When my kids were little I didn’t pick them up very much b/c I was drunk all the time. They are teenagers now. I missed it. I’m not going to miss anything else.
AV: I’ll be back.
TEN: I know.
Last edited by TENtx; 05-15-2015 at 12:21 PM. Reason: Correct a typo.
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Ha! Some good ones here!
My AV is a foul-mouthed 14 year-old. He wears a backwards baseball cap and throws water balloons at cars. He's a petty thief who's due for a good arse-whoopin' but he's always one step ahead of getting caught. When he does get caught, he turns on the charm and talks his way out of it, but as soon as he's out of the cage he's cooking up more hair-brained schemes and sniffing out trouble. Hate that kid.
My AV is a foul-mouthed 14 year-old. He wears a backwards baseball cap and throws water balloons at cars. He's a petty thief who's due for a good arse-whoopin' but he's always one step ahead of getting caught. When he does get caught, he turns on the charm and talks his way out of it, but as soon as he's out of the cage he's cooking up more hair-brained schemes and sniffing out trouble. Hate that kid.
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Originally Posted by TENtx
My AV is Hans Gruber, the villian from the first Die Hard movie, although without the gun. Well dressed, educated, polite and ruthless.
We have full conversations and I write some of them down. Here is my latest.
AV: You have been doing great. I know you are feeling better, and I think we need to look at the big picture, here. Let me ask you something. If you could have drinking be anything you wanted in your life, wouldn’t it be that you could have a couple drinks whenever you wanted and then stop whenever you wanted?
TEN: I don’t know. Maybe.
AV: Well, how are you ever going to get there unless you practice? Why don’t we go get a bottle of something and practice? You could have 1 or 2 and stop. You could also afford to buy a really good single malt scotch that you like, since you are going to make it last for a while. Let’s practice moderation until we get it right.
TEN: This is a new one, isn’t it? I don’t remember hearing this one before.
AV: Yes, thank you for noticing. You haven’t been sober like this recently, so it’s my job to try out new things on you. So what do you think?
TEN: Okay, let me get this straight. I’m not drinking at all right now, and I’m feeling pretty good, better every day. You want me to start drinking more than I am, so I can drink less than I did? Do you know how dumb that sounds?
AV: It made sense when I first said it, right?
TEN: I think I need to give you a better answer to your original question. If I could have anything I wanted about drinking, it would be that drinking would never, ever affect my life in a negative way. When my kids were little I didn’t pick them up very much b/c I was drunk all the time. They are teenagers now. I missed it. I’m not going to miss anything else.
AV: I’ll be back.
TEN: I know.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
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Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
I don't have an AV. But if I did, it would look and sound exactly like me.
The above line was taken from the first pages of a Greg Iles thriller. Something I remember because I had to hide the book under a mountain of pillows and sleep with the lights on for 2 weeks just to get through to the ending. Never again!! If I cannot sleep I will stare at the cracks on the ceiling! Scaaaary.
Alan Rickman! What a great 'bad guy'. Hans...Bubby!
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Posts: 2,978
Originally Posted by Verte
Evil has a face you know and a voice you trust.
The above line was taken from the first pages of a Greg Iles thriller. Something I remember because I had to hide the book under a mountain of pillows and sleep with the lights on for 2 weeks just to get through to the ending. Never again!! If I cannot sleep I will stare at the cracks on the ceiling! Scaaaary.
The above line was taken from the first pages of a Greg Iles thriller. Something I remember because I had to hide the book under a mountain of pillows and sleep with the lights on for 2 weeks just to get through to the ending. Never again!! If I cannot sleep I will stare at the cracks on the ceiling! Scaaaary.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Mine is female . I've always looked at the whole thing as a romance gone way bad. Siren is my word for AV (false promises). I never did get the whole "evil " connotation with "beast"--more the lustful, attaching thing.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 378
Originally Posted by TENtx
My AV is Hans Gruber, the villian from the first Die Hard movie, although without the gun. Well dressed, educated, polite and ruthless.
We have full conversations and I write some of them down. Here is my latest.
AV: You have been doing great. I know you are feeling better, and I think we need to look at the big picture, here. Let me ask you something. If you could have drinking be anything you wanted in your life, wouldn’t it be that you could have a couple drinks whenever you wanted and then stop whenever you wanted?
TEN: I don’t know. Maybe.
AV: Well, how are you ever going to get there unless you practice? Why don’t we go get a bottle of something and practice? You could have 1 or 2 and stop. You could also afford to buy a really good single malt scotch that you like, since you are going to make it last for a while. Let’s practice moderation until we get it right.
TEN: This is a new one, isn’t it? I don’t remember hearing this one before.
AV: Yes, thank you for noticing. You haven’t been sober like this recently, so it’s my job to try out new things on you. So what do you think?
TEN: Okay, let me get this straight. I’m not drinking at all right now, and I’m feeling pretty good, better every day. You want me to start drinking more than I am, so I can drink less than I did? Do you know how dumb that sounds?
AV: It made sense when I first said it, right?
TEN: I think I need to give you a better answer to your original question. If I could have anything I wanted about drinking, it would be that drinking would never, ever affect my life in a negative way. When my kids were little I didn’t pick them up very much b/c I was drunk all the time. They are teenagers now. I missed it. I’m not going to miss anything else.
AV: I’ll be back.
TEN: I know.
Join Date: Aug 2011
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Mine is me...but the worst me. Makeup trying to cover the yellowish complexion, thin brittle, dull hair, laughing too hard at nothing in particular, the next minute crying hysterically... I really only feel pity for her, because she is pathetic. She has only the stupidest, sh*ttiest ideas ever. Only an idiot would take advice from her.
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Oh my... so this thread is "my fault"?! Thanks, gettingsmarter!
I'll need to look at all the responses later since it's earlier than early morning where I am right now and I need to pull myself together to start on a wondrous weekend trip (hopefully not a horror story). But here are some random shares.
I never imagined my addiction, or the urges that drive me to drink (or obsess about whatever) as a separate, evil entity. I really tried early on in sobriety, when I was reading RR / AVRT stuff... just could not picture/feel it well separated. But I do like to think in associations and images...
So, for me, it's much more like many different mental states across a dynamic, ever changing spectrum, with its edges and "limits" hanging and gradually dispersing into multiple dimensions of madness, with many layers and variations until... death I guess. Luckily I did not go that far
The other immediate association that came to my mind already when I first had the idea of this (on AO's thread) is that for me, my addiction was intertwined in complex ways with obsessive personal relationships, a few of them during my drunken times, but especially one long-term and especially intense with my alcoholic bf, with whom we were also extremely addicted to each-other. For years, and there was nothing like "initial infatuation". If anything, it was just getting worse with time. From that era, I could share probably hundreds of pages of "AV-AV interactions" between the two of us on all kinds of media (emails, texts, exchanging visual creation fantasy nightmares, lot of it stuff that would never pass SR censorship)... over years. I had a laptop filled with that saved. And of course my head, and also my future choices, even professionally (I call it "addiction neuroscience" now and am paid to do it).
If any of you are familiar with The Dark Tower series by Stephen King -- my friend and I were sort of imagining and writing our own version of it. Living it. Based on that, I still think it's one of the best metaphors for human obsession in contemporary popular fiction.
I deleted at least 3 or 4 email accounts packed with our "conversation" when it ended, and when I got sober (years later, about 15 months ago), I bought a new laptop, migrated everything else to this new one, except all the years of that alcoholic fantasy nightmare. So it's all gone from my physical storage, and thankfully, slowly fading from my memories also in terms of intensity and vibrance. What does still happen to me though, luckily less and less (it's a ton of work) is my projecting all those drunken memories and experiences onto and into current, sober feelings, thoughts and life events... I do not intend to "kill it" or get rid of it, my aim is healthy integration.
I could never give simple metaphors or images for this and I try not to keep it in my mind long when my obsessiveness takes over for shorter periods of time now. Far easier without the influence of alcohol and drugs. And isolation.
Anyhow, for those of you who like audiovisual stuff, here is two songs from the band Tool. Without my comments. Check out lyrics also.
I'll need to look at all the responses later since it's earlier than early morning where I am right now and I need to pull myself together to start on a wondrous weekend trip (hopefully not a horror story). But here are some random shares.
I never imagined my addiction, or the urges that drive me to drink (or obsess about whatever) as a separate, evil entity. I really tried early on in sobriety, when I was reading RR / AVRT stuff... just could not picture/feel it well separated. But I do like to think in associations and images...
So, for me, it's much more like many different mental states across a dynamic, ever changing spectrum, with its edges and "limits" hanging and gradually dispersing into multiple dimensions of madness, with many layers and variations until... death I guess. Luckily I did not go that far
The other immediate association that came to my mind already when I first had the idea of this (on AO's thread) is that for me, my addiction was intertwined in complex ways with obsessive personal relationships, a few of them during my drunken times, but especially one long-term and especially intense with my alcoholic bf, with whom we were also extremely addicted to each-other. For years, and there was nothing like "initial infatuation". If anything, it was just getting worse with time. From that era, I could share probably hundreds of pages of "AV-AV interactions" between the two of us on all kinds of media (emails, texts, exchanging visual creation fantasy nightmares, lot of it stuff that would never pass SR censorship)... over years. I had a laptop filled with that saved. And of course my head, and also my future choices, even professionally (I call it "addiction neuroscience" now and am paid to do it).
If any of you are familiar with The Dark Tower series by Stephen King -- my friend and I were sort of imagining and writing our own version of it. Living it. Based on that, I still think it's one of the best metaphors for human obsession in contemporary popular fiction.
I deleted at least 3 or 4 email accounts packed with our "conversation" when it ended, and when I got sober (years later, about 15 months ago), I bought a new laptop, migrated everything else to this new one, except all the years of that alcoholic fantasy nightmare. So it's all gone from my physical storage, and thankfully, slowly fading from my memories also in terms of intensity and vibrance. What does still happen to me though, luckily less and less (it's a ton of work) is my projecting all those drunken memories and experiences onto and into current, sober feelings, thoughts and life events... I do not intend to "kill it" or get rid of it, my aim is healthy integration.
I could never give simple metaphors or images for this and I try not to keep it in my mind long when my obsessiveness takes over for shorter periods of time now. Far easier without the influence of alcohol and drugs. And isolation.
Anyhow, for those of you who like audiovisual stuff, here is two songs from the band Tool. Without my comments. Check out lyrics also.
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