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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Once again, lots of great responses and pieces of advice here, Jeremy. You know, it's not going to help you or anyone that you openly admit to not listening to suggestions and following instructions from those that try to help, here and in your local reality. And you must be able to understand how and why your attitudes upset people at times. It's sad and frustrating to watch.
There has been quite a few cases of mental illnesses with varying severity in my family, with psychotic type disorders being most prevalent. I had relatives (now deceased) that lived a horrific life in complete isolation and with paranoia off and on. One of my aunts in particular slid down to a really bad place, she did not want to seek or accept any help for years, until it was forced on her in her late 50's (will spare you the details, they were not pretty). She then got properly diagnosed and medicated; later she also moved to live in an elder's home. As far as I know, she experienced great relief and had a good life during her last ~decade, pretty much symptom-free. Her sister (that I never knew because she passed before I was born) did not have such a good experience though: she was in and out of mental hospital for years, in the "out" periods she refused all medication and professional assistance, and committed suicide in the end. Your patterns often remind me of the stories I heard about this aunt of mine. Apart from mental illness, she was apparently an exceptionally bright and creative person, my family talked about her as some sort of genius even. But you know, all that flies out of the window when people do not cooperate with the positive interventions and efforts to help. These were all a long time ago (decades) and in an environment which was far less developed than where you are now. There are so many effective treatment options and medications for schizophrenics these days, but you got to be open to exploring them and following instructions that come with them.
I don't have diagnosable psychotic illness, but I did experience some spells when I was drinking heavily or under the influence of certain drugs, and intense stress or emotional trauma can also make me a bit weird. Maybe my story is a little bit like Robby's about this. So I know that I may carry some (luckily for me, very mild so far) streaks of the family heritage -- only one good reason why it's so important that I look after myself properly. Getting sober and living sober so far has made a tremendous difference in my mental health and stability -- it did not come overnight but after a few months sober there was no way I wanted to go back to my ***ed up mentality. I think you just never give yourself a true chance to experience how things could be for you in sustained sobriety.
And I believe you see just as well as I or others who read your post that you are doing the same game again with criticizing and resisting every option. Why, Jeremy? What is in it for you at this point to keep repeating the same short cycles? Why don't you want to give a chance to a better life? On your wife being so essential that you cannot separate from her to go to treatment -- didn't you just say yesterday on the other thread that she is leaving you? Also, I remember a good while ago you spent some time in a mental hospital and said you liked it -- was that a true story? If so, why is inpatient rehab so aversive that you resist no matter what?
I don't know... I don't think that any of us are doing much to help you here because you put an unbreakable wall between options/advice and actions to realize it and follow up. I guess your posts will always receive some attention, if not from older members, from new people who are not yet so familiar with your story. But is the attention enough for you really? Wouldn't it be better and ultimately more fulfilling to do something more than "entertaining" us on the forum?
There has been quite a few cases of mental illnesses with varying severity in my family, with psychotic type disorders being most prevalent. I had relatives (now deceased) that lived a horrific life in complete isolation and with paranoia off and on. One of my aunts in particular slid down to a really bad place, she did not want to seek or accept any help for years, until it was forced on her in her late 50's (will spare you the details, they were not pretty). She then got properly diagnosed and medicated; later she also moved to live in an elder's home. As far as I know, she experienced great relief and had a good life during her last ~decade, pretty much symptom-free. Her sister (that I never knew because she passed before I was born) did not have such a good experience though: she was in and out of mental hospital for years, in the "out" periods she refused all medication and professional assistance, and committed suicide in the end. Your patterns often remind me of the stories I heard about this aunt of mine. Apart from mental illness, she was apparently an exceptionally bright and creative person, my family talked about her as some sort of genius even. But you know, all that flies out of the window when people do not cooperate with the positive interventions and efforts to help. These were all a long time ago (decades) and in an environment which was far less developed than where you are now. There are so many effective treatment options and medications for schizophrenics these days, but you got to be open to exploring them and following instructions that come with them.
I don't have diagnosable psychotic illness, but I did experience some spells when I was drinking heavily or under the influence of certain drugs, and intense stress or emotional trauma can also make me a bit weird. Maybe my story is a little bit like Robby's about this. So I know that I may carry some (luckily for me, very mild so far) streaks of the family heritage -- only one good reason why it's so important that I look after myself properly. Getting sober and living sober so far has made a tremendous difference in my mental health and stability -- it did not come overnight but after a few months sober there was no way I wanted to go back to my ***ed up mentality. I think you just never give yourself a true chance to experience how things could be for you in sustained sobriety.
And I believe you see just as well as I or others who read your post that you are doing the same game again with criticizing and resisting every option. Why, Jeremy? What is in it for you at this point to keep repeating the same short cycles? Why don't you want to give a chance to a better life? On your wife being so essential that you cannot separate from her to go to treatment -- didn't you just say yesterday on the other thread that she is leaving you? Also, I remember a good while ago you spent some time in a mental hospital and said you liked it -- was that a true story? If so, why is inpatient rehab so aversive that you resist no matter what?
I don't know... I don't think that any of us are doing much to help you here because you put an unbreakable wall between options/advice and actions to realize it and follow up. I guess your posts will always receive some attention, if not from older members, from new people who are not yet so familiar with your story. But is the attention enough for you really? Wouldn't it be better and ultimately more fulfilling to do something more than "entertaining" us on the forum?
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