The AV has gone, but where?

Old 04-29-2015, 09:26 AM
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The AV has gone, but where?

This time in recovery I'm nearing a month and it has been strange. Unlike last time (at least how I remember the first months) there have been no cravings or compulsive thinking/behaviour related to the drug alcohol. No pink clouds, no sign of an av either, and trust me, I got into finding out that if there is one, the av can be so so subtle.

Maybe this is wishful thinking, but if the av is finally dead, that's good. So far this recovery has been most different of all the streaks before. I suppose the reality should unfold after maybe 3-6 months. And that will do just fine because the thought of drinking is disgusting.

Thanks for reading.
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Old 04-29-2015, 09:28 AM
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Keep on Unix

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Old 04-29-2015, 09:30 AM
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Congratulations, UnixBer, on almost a month of sobriety; I am happy to hear that it is going well.

We are here for you; don't be a stranger!!!!
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Old 04-29-2015, 09:36 AM
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Don't fall for AV's trickery. It will hide and wait and wait and wait until the moment is just right. It's great that you are not noticing it but just be vigilant. Mine was the same way and after a while it started with the "if this is so easy you must not be one, you can control it"...

None of that!!!

I am so glad to hear that it is going well. Savor this moments and be proud. You are doing this!!!
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Old 04-29-2015, 09:46 AM
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Congrats on a month, that's a fantastic accomplishment! The AV never "dies" in my opinion, it just gets quiet. And sometimes it stays quiet for a long time. Just be ready because it will pop up when you least expect it - sometimes not as strong and definitely not as often, but it's still there.
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Old 04-29-2015, 09:53 AM
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Congratulations on the sober time.

I view your AV in tactical retreat. I work my program of recovery every day because the AV has a lifetime to wait for our one moment of weakness
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Old 04-29-2015, 10:29 AM
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What Scott said
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Old 04-29-2015, 11:27 AM
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It is possible that the av is in tactical retreat for now, but what is strange is how things have went. In my opinion, I could get back on the wagon and so far stay on it without much effort or discomfort on my part.

Alcohol is simply not on my mind, yet. I don't ever recall this being so easy. Still no sign of paws too, I'm looking forward to this actually... because I get the feeling that there might be no more paws with this. Maybe... it is still too early to assume this. But we will see... Thanks for the input.
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Old 04-29-2015, 05:26 PM
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First - congrats on your clean time. That is awesome.

You never know when the AV will pop up and suggest "moderation." I don't feel like using now, but I didn't feel like using last fall either and I fell into a huge relapse that ate up the first 3 1/2 months of this year. This time I am hoping to be better armed for when that little nagging voice pops back up in my head saying things like "You've been clean so long, now you can use just on the weekends!" Pffft, get lost AV.
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Old 04-30-2015, 02:23 AM
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I'd just say watch yourself. Be confident, but don't be complacent.

After end of last month, I thought I'd beaten it forever. Turns out I was wrong. After 4 months of doing so, so well, staying sober apart from a couple of slip ups in Feb and one in Jan, I went to Chiang Mai to celebrate Songkran in Chiang Mai (Thai new year) - and fell off the wagon spectacularly. As in, big time. Felt like being back at square one again.

I dont think it ever goes away, really - as others have said, it just kinda becomes quiet.
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Old 04-30-2015, 05:04 AM
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Unix, I know it's not funny, but the title of your post made me chuckle. I'd be happy to see my AV go. I believe that AV is like having a salesman always by your side. Maybe he goes on holiday once in a while but he'll be back to try to sell you some more wares.
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Old 04-30-2015, 09:16 AM
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Well done Unix, I believe that when my AV is on vacation, the demon is really at the gym doing push-ups. It is staying in shape , getting ready for the next battle. We have to stay in better shape, so that we can win that next battle. Just keep winning the battles......Best Wishes.
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Old 04-30-2015, 09:52 AM
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Mine wasn't there for a while too, the first time around..... Then it ambushed me.

This time it's always been there but the noise level is different and I'm aware and not responding to it in the same way. I won't allow it to 'hide' because I just expect it may appear, and I even call it out ahead of time when I feel it likely to get tricky with me.

I just expect it will probably always be with me in this life, so that hopefully I won't be caught by surprise without an appropriate response when it does assert its trickery.
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Old 04-30-2015, 10:37 AM
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My AV layed in wait for me for 5 years then got me when I was in a very rough spot. I also had really no problem quitting and I do not think about drinking but I know better than to think that it is gone. The AV is just the mouth of the Beast which is the part of us who wants instant gratification, who wants to be wasted.
It never truly goes away so we always have to keep in mind that we are alcoholics and cannot drink or use no matter what.
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Old 04-30-2015, 12:58 PM
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I knew some people would find the topic title funny. It kinda is.
I believe I'm armed and ready for the av should it present itself in its disastrous and heinous ways. In other words you could say that the av is me, or you, or a part of a person. To me still it's a physical mechanism (that I hope can actually be disarmed for good)...

Fyi I was almost 2 years sober when I decided to get drunk for a period.
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