Is AA necessary for recovery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 32
Is AA necessary for recovery?
By some miracle I've made it 26 days sober. So far I've been doing this without actual "addiction" support other than this online forum (which has been great!) and lots of other activities recommended on this forum like reading and exercise.
My question is - is this sustainable? Do I need to go to AA? I am still struggling even at Day 26, every day is a struggle and a new obstacle for me to not drink, though each day gets better. The fact is, I'm much more comfortable about posting to this site than about attending meetings. I live in NYC and given that it's a big city with a lot of problems, I'm nervous about who I might encounter at these meetings and whether they're really for me (young, female, very shy, not very religious). But I also think I might benefit from finding a sponsor, or at least a sober buddy, as none of my friends are sober (actually, most are heavy drinkers themselves).
So... is it very very difficult or impossible to stay sober without AA, a sober sponser, etc?
Thank you in advance for your comments!
My question is - is this sustainable? Do I need to go to AA? I am still struggling even at Day 26, every day is a struggle and a new obstacle for me to not drink, though each day gets better. The fact is, I'm much more comfortable about posting to this site than about attending meetings. I live in NYC and given that it's a big city with a lot of problems, I'm nervous about who I might encounter at these meetings and whether they're really for me (young, female, very shy, not very religious). But I also think I might benefit from finding a sponsor, or at least a sober buddy, as none of my friends are sober (actually, most are heavy drinkers themselves).
So... is it very very difficult or impossible to stay sober without AA, a sober sponser, etc?
Thank you in advance for your comments!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Welcome cambie,
there are many here who do not use aa. Some use only this site for support, some use other support such as counseling or other type of support groups.
I think because of the nature of this site, you will find many who do not need aa. If you think it may help, give it a try. I found it detrimental to my development as a sober individual.
there are many here who do not use aa. Some use only this site for support, some use other support such as counseling or other type of support groups.
I think because of the nature of this site, you will find many who do not need aa. If you think it may help, give it a try. I found it detrimental to my development as a sober individual.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
AA is merely one of many programs/plans that are used for living a sober life. There are many self paced ones ( AVRT for example ), Meeting based ( AA, Life Ring, etc ), Therapy based ( counseling, rehab, CBT, ), Online recovery communities like SR, etc.
What is important is keeping an open mind and trying multiple methods until you find one that fits you. NONE of them are going to be easy, so don't expect immediate results with no changes on your part. We need to make major adjustments to our life to get sober, no matter what method we choose.
So while AA is one of the most popular sobriety methods, it isn't the ONLY one. I would suggest that you attend some meetings and find out what is is all about if you think it might help.
What is important is keeping an open mind and trying multiple methods until you find one that fits you. NONE of them are going to be easy, so don't expect immediate results with no changes on your part. We need to make major adjustments to our life to get sober, no matter what method we choose.
So while AA is one of the most popular sobriety methods, it isn't the ONLY one. I would suggest that you attend some meetings and find out what is is all about if you think it might help.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Cambie.
Congrats on 26 days!
In my opinion and experience (2.5 years sober) it's possible. I used only this site as support.
Difficult...Recovery is not easy regardless of what path you choose.
Hope you will find a method that works best for you.
Stay sober. Keep posting.
Congrats on 26 days!
In my opinion and experience (2.5 years sober) it's possible. I used only this site as support.
Difficult...Recovery is not easy regardless of what path you choose.
Hope you will find a method that works best for you.
Stay sober. Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello:
I have never used AA. I think the best thing is to keep an open mind because recovery is so unique you have to find what works for you. The most important thing to do is educate yourself about recovery methods and addiction and start tailoring your plan. There has been a couple of threads lately about plans so you can refer to those for some ideas.
I have been successful for over a year now using AVRT, SR (a lot) and other techniques I have learned here.
Welcome to the fam!!!
I have never used AA. I think the best thing is to keep an open mind because recovery is so unique you have to find what works for you. The most important thing to do is educate yourself about recovery methods and addiction and start tailoring your plan. There has been a couple of threads lately about plans so you can refer to those for some ideas.
I have been successful for over a year now using AVRT, SR (a lot) and other techniques I have learned here.
Welcome to the fam!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 228
In the past, I always thought AA was the only way to go. And because I couldn't stick to the program 100%, I'd just give up on it and myself. Now I am going to a few meetings but I'm understanding that I can still take little from AA and use other support systems as well. This site being one of them.
This is just what i'm doing - taking the best from both.
This is just what i'm doing - taking the best from both.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Rapid City, MI
Posts: 214
As long as you aren't isolating yourself; are being totally honest with yourself; and can maintain a commitment to "your own program," I don't think AA is necessary. But I think having a community of like-minded people there to support you face-to-face is pretty compelling stuff. If you've never been to a meeting, it can't hurt to check one out, right? SR is a fantastic alternative. There is always someone here to respond.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 97
I can relate! I"m 13 days in and am wondering the same thing. I'm not very trusting at the best of times so spilling my guts at a meeting isn't very appealing to me. But the steps sound like a very valuable thing, and meeting other sober people face to face would be a huge relief right now.
Last booze: April 10 2015
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 98
Hi Cambie,
Firstly - really well done on 26 days! I am on Day 3 and visiting and getting involved on this forum is really helping me so far. It's a great question about AA - I've been thinking exactly the same thing but at the moment I'm resisting going along. One thing that worried me slightly was that there had been some reports that my local AA had been hijacked by 'cultists'. I had looked for the local fellowship and as I was browsing for meetings I saw a link to a story about this. I have no idea of the accuracy of this but it immediately made me wary and so I haven't pursued it further for the moment. I too am slightly concerned by the religious aspect. Although they seem to be great pains to dispel this fear, I can't help but feel that to make their technique work properly you have to believe in God, and the traditional creator of the universe type God. I don't subscribe to this personally and will find it very hard, if not impossible to give myself up to this concept. So, for the moment I will utilise some of their techniques and try and weave them in with my own, the ones found on here and elsewhere. I accept some might find this a risky, cherry-picking approach but as others have rightly said, we all need to find our own way. If I fail, I may well try AA and see if I can make it work for me. I should say in their defence of course that they have certainly helped very many people escape from alcohol addiction and that shouldn't be understated. Good luck to you - it does sound as though you do need to find something else to bolster your escape. I do hope you find the advice on here to do just that!
Scott's point is a very good on where he says 'don't expect quick-fixes with no changes on your part.' I will certainly heed that advice.
Best Wishes
C
Firstly - really well done on 26 days! I am on Day 3 and visiting and getting involved on this forum is really helping me so far. It's a great question about AA - I've been thinking exactly the same thing but at the moment I'm resisting going along. One thing that worried me slightly was that there had been some reports that my local AA had been hijacked by 'cultists'. I had looked for the local fellowship and as I was browsing for meetings I saw a link to a story about this. I have no idea of the accuracy of this but it immediately made me wary and so I haven't pursued it further for the moment. I too am slightly concerned by the religious aspect. Although they seem to be great pains to dispel this fear, I can't help but feel that to make their technique work properly you have to believe in God, and the traditional creator of the universe type God. I don't subscribe to this personally and will find it very hard, if not impossible to give myself up to this concept. So, for the moment I will utilise some of their techniques and try and weave them in with my own, the ones found on here and elsewhere. I accept some might find this a risky, cherry-picking approach but as others have rightly said, we all need to find our own way. If I fail, I may well try AA and see if I can make it work for me. I should say in their defence of course that they have certainly helped very many people escape from alcohol addiction and that shouldn't be understated. Good luck to you - it does sound as though you do need to find something else to bolster your escape. I do hope you find the advice on here to do just that!
Scott's point is a very good on where he says 'don't expect quick-fixes with no changes on your part.' I will certainly heed that advice.
Best Wishes
C
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Ditto what Scott said. Find one that works best for you. I attend AA meetings and have met a couple great women who are now part of my support network. So, I attend a couple of meetings during the week, read and post on SR every day and text my friends every day or so.
Regardless of which method you choose, I believe it's important to have support to reach out to. If it's SR only, reach out to people.
Regardless of which method you choose, I believe it's important to have support to reach out to. If it's SR only, reach out to people.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I just use this site. ..14 months. The advantage of aa is of course the face to face support., having someone to call, a sponsor. Many have stayed sober with aa. But for me, this site is working. I check in several times a day or so. Also...aa could get you out and meeting people, if that is an issue for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
as someone who sobered up in my teens I don't think I could of done it without the help of Alcoholics Anonymous. Not only are the 12 steps a great way of living, the Fellowship gave me a scocial network of others my own age trying to clean up act. But, when I got sober AA was the only game in town and I am unfamiliar with the other methods. I know early on, when I was by myself, I was in bad company.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
You ask if AA is necessary for recovery. Obviously not for everyone, as these forums clearly show. Perhaps the better question to ask would be , "is AA better for my recovery". The answer to that question won't be known until you try it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Of course, many people recovery without AA, but the main thing is what will work for you. I haven't used AA, but have used SR and books to find my way. You need to decide what tools you will need to get and stay sober. And, whatever you choose, we're here to help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
AA isn't necessary (many, many fabulous recoveries on this site prove that), but I grow through it and enjoy it. I feel that it enhances my recovery.
My favorite AA meeting (and the only one I'm truly committed to) is my weekly women's meeting. All-woman meetings tend to explore topics that are relevant to me, and I feel that the depth of sharing and the level of content is more powerful than in mixed gender meetings. It also eliminates all the flirty guy action (which can be uncomfortable for those of us who are shy). I'm someone who needs the safety of being truly myself in the exploration necessary for sobriety. So my women's meeting is the place where I feel that I grow. I've met women that I really value and want to keep in my life. The few times I've considered drinking, the potential loss of those relationships has been enough to stop me!
So, my input would be to check out a few meetings and see if anything clicks. If you don't feel comfortable, you can certainly pull off an excellent recovery without it, but if you do find a meeting you connect with, you might find that it becomes one of the highlights of your week, as it is for me...
My favorite AA meeting (and the only one I'm truly committed to) is my weekly women's meeting. All-woman meetings tend to explore topics that are relevant to me, and I feel that the depth of sharing and the level of content is more powerful than in mixed gender meetings. It also eliminates all the flirty guy action (which can be uncomfortable for those of us who are shy). I'm someone who needs the safety of being truly myself in the exploration necessary for sobriety. So my women's meeting is the place where I feel that I grow. I've met women that I really value and want to keep in my life. The few times I've considered drinking, the potential loss of those relationships has been enough to stop me!
So, my input would be to check out a few meetings and see if anything clicks. If you don't feel comfortable, you can certainly pull off an excellent recovery without it, but if you do find a meeting you connect with, you might find that it becomes one of the highlights of your week, as it is for me...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
I have stayed sober for 20 months now, using SR as my main source of support. I have never been to an AA meeting. But I promised myself that if I felt myself getting ready to pick up a drink, I would first go to AA. It hasn't happened yet, but that is my backup plan.
Take inventory of how you are doing and whether you need something more than what you have in order to stay sober. The key is to get the help BEFORE you pick up that first drink.
Take inventory of how you are doing and whether you need something more than what you have in order to stay sober. The key is to get the help BEFORE you pick up that first drink.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Cambie - Congratulations on 26 days! That's terrific!
I find face to face support of great value and a structured program helpful. The important thing is finding out what you need.........Some say they needed or did not need a particular way. For me it's about what adds value to my sobriety = the experience of discovery myself that's important.
Glad you're here, keep coming back!
I find face to face support of great value and a structured program helpful. The important thing is finding out what you need.........Some say they needed or did not need a particular way. For me it's about what adds value to my sobriety = the experience of discovery myself that's important.
Glad you're here, keep coming back!
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