Alcoholics and self-victimization
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Alcoholics and self-victimization
How true do you think that is? You know, "it's not my fault, I'm an alcoholic"? Any excuse to not blame yourself, right? I know I've done it in the past, as I'm sure many have.
I mean, where's the line between someone who needs help / support, and someone who just needs to put their panties on, buck up, and face life?
I mean, where's the line between someone who needs help / support, and someone who just needs to put their panties on, buck up, and face life?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think everyone needs help and support, really.
I was prone to self victimisation for a long time - I still needed help though.
That help helped me to assume some responsibility and stand on my own two feet
D
I was prone to self victimisation for a long time - I still needed help though.
That help helped me to assume some responsibility and stand on my own two feet
D
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Excellent question Troy, for which, I think, there isn't an easy answer. There's a whole lot of morality loaded up in the question, which means we have a lot vested in which answer we give.
My position is something like this: it's not my fault I'm an alcoholic, but is DAMN sure my problem.
My position is something like this: it's not my fault I'm an alcoholic, but is DAMN sure my problem.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
I agree everyone needs help and support but until I owned my stuff I couldn't see the forest through the trees. I think sometimes it is about pulling up your big girl panties accepting your faults and doing the footwork needed to change things. No one but me caused my mess and no one but me can get me out of it. I appreciate help and support but I have to do the work.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 228
I remember reading once...be kind to yourself, you didn't ask to be an alcoholic. I've also learned it's a highly genetic disease. So we can't be blamed for being susceptible to it.
But it is our responsibility to get help. To make a change. If we continue to do the same mistake over and over again, we must take responsibility.
But it is our responsibility to get help. To make a change. If we continue to do the same mistake over and over again, we must take responsibility.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Originally Posted by TroyW 
I mean, where's the line between someone who needs help / support, and someone who just needs to put their panties on, buck up, and face life?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
For me it is a fine line with accepting my limits, my weaknesses, my faults and not dwell on them with a poor me attitude.
What brought me down, is my refusal to accept I needed help, and that there are things I cannot do. Specially career wise.
What brought me down, is my refusal to accept I needed help, and that there are things I cannot do. Specially career wise.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Victim hood is not a good look in sobriety. Even if the alcoholism wasn't my fault, I can't sit back and blame everyone else. In actual fact I am more of a perpetrator than a victim. I inflicted a lot of crrrp on others. I reacted badly to life and a lot of the stuff I put out there was reflected back on me.
As I have accepted responsibility for my part in things, the world seems to have become a better place. Now I get a lot of good stuff reflected back.
As I have accepted responsibility for my part in things, the world seems to have become a better place. Now I get a lot of good stuff reflected back.
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