safe place
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 10
safe place
hi
I feel a bit strange as it's maybe 1/2 year since I reduced my visits to SR to once a month or less. Even longer since I posted last time. Strange because there are so many new users that I am not anymore familiar with.
But I want to share this.
Sobriety calculator shows 1133 sober days today and life is as good as it can be. At my job, after years of lower performance and setbacks, where people get used to me as the guy who just lost it, I finally asked for another chance and was granted this chance, a new position with increased responsability. Workdays are long and bring along more stress but, at the end of most days, I feel satisfaction, new motivation and proudness.
Relationship-wise, same time I stopped dating I also stopped drinking (winter 2012). There was a direct link with drinking, as the combination of alcohol and imbalance brought me toxic relations. Then, one year ago I started dating again. First relation only lasted 5 months, but I was finally able to attract a normal, genuine, warm, down to earth girl. Second relation is more complicated (long distance), we rarelly meet as we live in different countries but this is the relation who made me say again the words I love you. Most men have a problem with saying these words and I am no different. Here I am, saying these words each day, to a girl that I love and want to keep.
Maybe you ask why I want to share and what connection is with the title.
Last days were personally very hard. I was married before. We divorced in a messy situation, and we did not had any contact in years. Today we had to meet to sort out some stuff. I was able to say thank you to exwife for all the good things we shared. Got a surprinzing warm answer. And this is important for closure. But in the afternoon the past just overwhelmed me. I felt lost. Even considered throwing away 3y of sobriety just to not feel so bad. Could not call any friends or family.
Then, I rememebered that, for the last 3 years, whenever I felt lost, I always came here and feel empowered only by reading (I do not post). So, I am here again, sharing my story as I sign of respect to what you (SR) mean to me.
Thank you to all SR community. Together, old and newcommers, active or lurking, all of you built an unique online place, safe and warm.
I feel a bit strange as it's maybe 1/2 year since I reduced my visits to SR to once a month or less. Even longer since I posted last time. Strange because there are so many new users that I am not anymore familiar with.
But I want to share this.
Sobriety calculator shows 1133 sober days today and life is as good as it can be. At my job, after years of lower performance and setbacks, where people get used to me as the guy who just lost it, I finally asked for another chance and was granted this chance, a new position with increased responsability. Workdays are long and bring along more stress but, at the end of most days, I feel satisfaction, new motivation and proudness.
Relationship-wise, same time I stopped dating I also stopped drinking (winter 2012). There was a direct link with drinking, as the combination of alcohol and imbalance brought me toxic relations. Then, one year ago I started dating again. First relation only lasted 5 months, but I was finally able to attract a normal, genuine, warm, down to earth girl. Second relation is more complicated (long distance), we rarelly meet as we live in different countries but this is the relation who made me say again the words I love you. Most men have a problem with saying these words and I am no different. Here I am, saying these words each day, to a girl that I love and want to keep.
Maybe you ask why I want to share and what connection is with the title.
Last days were personally very hard. I was married before. We divorced in a messy situation, and we did not had any contact in years. Today we had to meet to sort out some stuff. I was able to say thank you to exwife for all the good things we shared. Got a surprinzing warm answer. And this is important for closure. But in the afternoon the past just overwhelmed me. I felt lost. Even considered throwing away 3y of sobriety just to not feel so bad. Could not call any friends or family.
Then, I rememebered that, for the last 3 years, whenever I felt lost, I always came here and feel empowered only by reading (I do not post). So, I am here again, sharing my story as I sign of respect to what you (SR) mean to me.
Thank you to all SR community. Together, old and newcommers, active or lurking, all of you built an unique online place, safe and warm.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
I'm glad you decided to post, Sun.
It sounds like seeing your ex-wife and expressing thanks to her was important for you, but also very sad. I'm glad you were able to work through those feelings and then decide to come here.
It sounds like seeing your ex-wife and expressing thanks to her was important for you, but also very sad. I'm glad you were able to work through those feelings and then decide to come here.
For Grace
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 92
I love when I find myself nodding silently as I read a good post. Yes, yes, and yes. Thanks for providing an update. I too lurk a lot but have been trying to engage more ... it IS empowering to be part of a larger community who's goal is to help others while helping themselves. It's beautiful in its simplicity.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hi Sun...my name is Verte and your post is just beautiful. It is really wonderful to read that SR carries such ongoing significance for you. I am sorry that you have experienced such heartache recently. 
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