Going back out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
Originally Posted by fini 
My brain is telling me this is my natural state of being.
yes. i get it.
my brain did that, too. i'd be getting drunk, looking at my dog, wondering how on earth a living being could just lie there, having a sober nap, or playing with her ball...soberly.
then i'd think of people i knew, who were out there, going to a movie, or making a meal, driving somewhere, hanging out with friends, reading a book...soberly.
seemed entirely abnormal to me. not just seemed: it was entirely abnormal to me.
but underneath all that, i knew that being sober was and is the natural-born, healthy and normal way the natural-born, healthy me. and that my mind/brain was telling me being or getting drunk was my normal state partly from booze-soaked habit and mostly from lying fear. fear. of being "cut off". of sober pain. of not knowing what to do with sober pain. of not trusting i could find a way. of not wanting to know i needed help from others.
that kind of stuff.
i think you know what i'm talking about.
yes. i get it.
my brain did that, too. i'd be getting drunk, looking at my dog, wondering how on earth a living being could just lie there, having a sober nap, or playing with her ball...soberly.
then i'd think of people i knew, who were out there, going to a movie, or making a meal, driving somewhere, hanging out with friends, reading a book...soberly.
seemed entirely abnormal to me. not just seemed: it was entirely abnormal to me.
but underneath all that, i knew that being sober was and is the natural-born, healthy and normal way the natural-born, healthy me. and that my mind/brain was telling me being or getting drunk was my normal state partly from booze-soaked habit and mostly from lying fear. fear. of being "cut off". of sober pain. of not knowing what to do with sober pain. of not trusting i could find a way. of not wanting to know i needed help from others.
that kind of stuff.
i think you know what i'm talking about.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
It hurt me too Dave. You're not alone or unique in this. I had no idea how to be a sober adult.
I began to think the hurt, the rawness, the fear, the overwhelming EVERYTHINGNESS of sobriety was the price I had to pay... but it did get better
it will for you too Dave - and this place will help a lot.
Use it
D
I began to think the hurt, the rawness, the fear, the overwhelming EVERYTHINGNESS of sobriety was the price I had to pay... but it did get better
it will for you too Dave - and this place will help a lot.
Use it
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Dave36
I sorry to let everyone down. Especially myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
Gonna pass out now. Hopefully I can sleep. Sometimes once I get going I can't go to sleep until I'm blind drunk. I'm out of beer tho. So here goes. Thanks for all the replies guys. This place is very helpful.
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