red3215

I had this long, ventful new post about why I'm fed up and disillusioned then I hit the wrong button and it all disappeared. Funny thing, though. By the time I was done writing it, I stopped feeling some of my confusion. Seems all that introspection and random, impulsive writing opened my own eyes up to some of what's going on with me, and obvious areas of life I need to focus on.

So instead of trying to re-write my post I'm making a suggestion and that is to write and write about your desire to drink, why you are fed up with life, whatever's going on with you. Start a journal, perhaps a blog on this site, and don't hold back. Impulsive, honest writing can really help to shed light on the inner self that you aren't aware of. I'm going to try and do this every day.

I'm also done trying to control my drinking as I wrote about in my last post....It didn't work. I started really dreading going into work one day and fell back into an old mindset where grabbing some vodka beforehand would make everything better and then I gave in and overdid it. So back to square one (day 3 now)

Nonsensical

Many people find journaling beneficial and therapeutic. Lots of good blogs here at SR. Hope your post inspires some more!

doggonecarl

Good advice about writing down one's inner conflicts and confusion.

Glad to read that you are done trying to control your drinking. Does that mean you have accepted sobriety as the only solution moving forward? If so, good luck. Hope we see lots of you on the boards

FreeOwl

yep.... writing it down and getting it out really does help.

you might think a 'technical glitch' responsible for deleting that post....

or you might think 'a purposeful intervention from your higher power'....

but either way - I like what you've taken from it..... very well done!!

red3215

Yes well I probably need to do some more writing today. I feel like I could slip up again on my way to work. I used to drink before work all the time and now I'm at a job I hate and the vodka store is right there on the way. I don't want to. I'm just afraid I'll be triggered when I pass by

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 3 RLS

doggonecarl

Don't look at it as a trigger. Look at it as an excuse your addiction is using to keep you drinking. Same with work. It's not a trigger. You are allowed to hate it, but you can't let it become a reason to drink.

Nonsensical

Sometimes other drivers cut me off on the road and I feel like ramming them from behind - but I don't.

Sometimes my boss sends pointless e-mails and memos and I feel like throwing my stapler at his head - but I don't.

Sometimes I drive by the liquor store and it makes me feel like drinking - but I don't.

I don't do all kinds of things I feel like doing. Drinking alcohol is no different.

thomas11

Writing has always helped me get the "trash" out of my brain.

red3215

I made it past the liquor stores without stopping. I know I'll be glad tomorrow but it's rough now. I had a longer reply but the same thing happened where it got erased. Well thank you all responders. I needed to hear some serious remarks against alcohol since I feel too casual about drinking right now.

doggonecarl

That's your addiction too, pushing the buttons it knows it can push to get you to drink.

Go home, get comfy, treat yourself to something, and read up on AV (addictive voice) recognition. And keep in mind, even though you might talk yourself out of believing this, that every problem you currently have is exacerbated by drinking.

Don't make things worse for yourself. And the worst? Don't put yourself through Day One again.

least

I don't journal, but I do talk at length to my dogs and cats. They listen to me and never offer their opinion, just listen with all their heart and soul.