nymets86

Just wondering if anyone here has found successes by moving to a new place.

I should start by saying I've had a bad relationship with alcohol since I was 17 and it hasn't mattered where I have lived. However, I find now that being close to my family really helps me out. I really do love New York, but the ease of drinking there is too easy (never have to worry about DUI), it's hard for me to do many of the activities that can keep me sober (golf and skiing primarily), and I'm currently living alone and while I have a good network of friends, I don't have anyone to just hang out with on a random evening when I'm bored.

I have a job that I love and pays well, and isn't reliant on me living in New York (I'd have to go several times a month if I moved back near family), but that can be done on a day trip or overnight.

After a horrible last week, I know I made the right decision in coming and staying with my family for the weekdend (spent last night at my brother's house and tonight at my parents). Sobriety has been a breeze this weekend, though I had tried to confide in my parents about what happened last week and didn't have the guts.

If I moved back here, I'd be buying a place of my own, so not living with any family, technically meaning I'd be living alone, but it's easy for me to stop by my brothers, two uncles, a cousin and parents that all live within 20 minutes and hang out.

Sorry to ramble, but I'm really fed up with the way my life is unfolding right now and I feel like this idea makes sense. But, I also fear that it's just a hair brained idea that will ultimately not fix the root problem, and selling my current place, arranging things at work, and buying a new place are all stressful things that will be tigers.

Fluffer

Welcome, NYM, good luck with your decision. Normally it's wishful thinking to think that moving somewhere else will help your problems. You can't run from yourself, they say. However, in your case, it could be a good thing to be around your family for support. Tough call.

BTW, I have never associated skiing and golf with sobriety.

GoesWithTheFlow

Before I had wondered if I moved away from drinking friends and changed scenes would I be more likely to stop. I found my answer to this question when I moved away three years ago: the problem IS ME!

I am very social and in every city I go one of the first things I do is see the night life scene. I moved to a city where people had said there was nothing to do and found a lot to do. I made friends with my bartenders and they took care of me in many ways. We would go out together to the small amount of bars that was in the city, they would give me free drinks, we go to someones house, or continue the party at my house.

I learned the problem is not the people in my life or my surrounding area, rather the problem is me in any area. I am working on myself so that no matter where I am, I won't have any issues with alcohol.

countrygirl2014

I moved so many times it's disgusting. I was dissatisfied once the novelty wore off. I landed out in the middle of nowhere, 3-4 hours from all my family. I was still unhappy. Only until I sobered up did I become content. Just two weeks ago I was considering moving. Why? I was unhappy. We alcoholics are programmed to run from our unhappiness instead of facing it. That is part of why we drank. Bad day of work=drink. I'm lonely=drink...drinking=running. Or moving. No matter where I went, I was still there. I was the problem. Now that I'm facing Jen and what makes Jen unhappy, I'm content and actually pretty happy I landed out here in the middle of nowhere.

Jennifer

Soberwolf

Change is good i think its a good idea and being close to family is good my friend

ScottFromWI

Change can help, but it's not a guaranteed solution to a drinking problem. Alcohlism lives inside our heads, and it follows is wherever we go.

nymets86

Ok, thanks for the feedback. Obviously the timeline of me being able to move isn't instantaneous. I know I need to really just focus on getting sober and giving the decision on moving some time. Regardless of my drinking problem, I think the move would be good for my mental health and is ultimately what I want in life. I moved to New York since I knew a ton of people moving there after college and knew it was a party town. Now I feel like the party is over and then I'm just kind of trapped.

Having a car again would be nice, I've always loved driving and only time I ever drove drunk when when I was 18. Fortunately didn't get caught. Central Park is great, but I love the outdoors and that's not really an option in the city. Then, being around the aforementioned family is something that I'd like.

IOAA2

Hi.
The problem for alcoholics and a geographical change is we bring the same person with us unless we have undergone some healthy mental and emotional changes over a period of time. Naturally there are legitimate reasons for doing so, family needs, work etc among them.

It might be a time for honest self examination for doing such.

BE WELL

countrygirl2014

Ewww... I see where you are coming from. A looooong time ago I wanted to move to New York...to party. In hindsight I'm very happy I couldn't afford it.

Jennifer