First Larger Challenge
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 68
First Larger Challenge
Hi Guys,
I'm nearing the end of my third day
. I suppose that small steps have to advance into larger challenges sooner or later though. Tomorrow I have to travel into the city to take care of some things, which I'm feeling weary and anxious about. With the exception of a 6 month period during which I had to travel through the city to get to work, I could probably count the number of times I haven't had a drink there on one hand ever since I started drinking 10 years ago.
My mind is being flooded with memories, though funnily enough none of them involve the countless times I went there to go clubbing (most of those are a haze, or gone), but rather very sad ones.
I remember sitting at many outside bars, sometimes staring at my beer, wondering if I'd waste the rest of my life inside a pub, sometimes staring at the people as they walked about conducting their business and going about their daily lives. I'd be annoyed at the fact that I'd have to hide my drunkedness (many times it was broad daylight during business hours) once I picked myself up and made my way home. Sometimes I'd even resent the sound of their laughter, and feel remorseful about my actions and guilty about my thoughts.
I remember Saturdays and Sundays after having a bender the previous night, as I'd walk down the stairs to my favourite Irish pub (it was dark, and had lots of cubicles one could hide in). I would try to hide any shakiness from the bartender (I wonder how many people with shaky hands they serve?) as I paid for my beer and picked up the bottle - it would have to be a bottle as I wouldn't be able to grasp a pint glass.
I guess one thing I can take from those memories is how sad they are, and use it to build a resolve to not repeat any of them again. I'll try to log into SR tomorrow morning before leaving as well - you have all helped me so much so far.
Anyhow, wish me luck. Good night all.
Seb.
I'm nearing the end of my third day
. I suppose that small steps have to advance into larger challenges sooner or later though. Tomorrow I have to travel into the city to take care of some things, which I'm feeling weary and anxious about. With the exception of a 6 month period during which I had to travel through the city to get to work, I could probably count the number of times I haven't had a drink there on one hand ever since I started drinking 10 years ago.My mind is being flooded with memories, though funnily enough none of them involve the countless times I went there to go clubbing (most of those are a haze, or gone), but rather very sad ones.
I remember sitting at many outside bars, sometimes staring at my beer, wondering if I'd waste the rest of my life inside a pub, sometimes staring at the people as they walked about conducting their business and going about their daily lives. I'd be annoyed at the fact that I'd have to hide my drunkedness (many times it was broad daylight during business hours) once I picked myself up and made my way home. Sometimes I'd even resent the sound of their laughter, and feel remorseful about my actions and guilty about my thoughts.
I remember Saturdays and Sundays after having a bender the previous night, as I'd walk down the stairs to my favourite Irish pub (it was dark, and had lots of cubicles one could hide in). I would try to hide any shakiness from the bartender (I wonder how many people with shaky hands they serve?) as I paid for my beer and picked up the bottle - it would have to be a bottle as I wouldn't be able to grasp a pint glass.
I guess one thing I can take from those memories is how sad they are, and use it to build a resolve to not repeat any of them again. I'll try to log into SR tomorrow morning before leaving as well - you have all helped me so much so far.
Anyhow, wish me luck. Good night all.
Seb.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Fantastic post, Sebastian. I could almost 'feel' your experience.
Safe travels to and from the city.
Imagine us traveling with you and giving you support and encouragement.
I am glad that you have found SR; you have already been a source of wisdom and support around the threads.
Safe travels to and from the city.
Imagine us traveling with you and giving you support and encouragement.
I am glad that you have found SR; you have already been a source of wisdom and support around the threads.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
I remember always putting my money on the counter in stead of handing it over if I ever had to pay for anything before I had a few drink so people wouldn't notice my hands shaking. It's all the little things that made it so fun huh. Don't miss waking up in that state.
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