Nowsthetime

I encountered the exact problem and I drove me nuts because of my expectations. Lots of what we need to do in recovery is focusing on ourselves and forgetting/ignoring others. I really wanted support and I didn't get it so I had to become my own cheerleader, with the help of SR. They DON'T understand... But who cares. YOU are doing this for YOU!!!

pumpkinny

Hi Jaded! I have many people in my life like that. I think half of them have no clue how much drink controlled me abs since they are normal drinkers, truly don't get it. The other group of folks, mostly drinking buddies are in denial about their I own drinking, therfore can't agree with my having a problem. I have not been out with this group since. Our contact has been a few texts.
Give it time and it will be the new normal. Btw those who just can't see I was a problem drinker have since realized I'm just a fizzy water drinker and could care less.

ChgoReason

Same problem with a friend of mine. He always says your drinking "ain't that bad." But what he don't see is when I do drink it is alone, and to blackout. Uhm, it is that bad I think to myself. People do not get how bad and lonely it could get.

MelindaFlowers

This is why I don't really talk to anyone about stopping drinking. I sobered up on the sly and only told when asked. My response was four words: I don't drink anymore. Maybe a very brief explanation: I got tired of it. It gave me headaches. Then I did not say another word.

Questions and long speeches would have bugged the hell out of me.

I get ALL my support here on SR, not from family or friends.

ru12

I chose the same path. My sobriety is MINE.

Fly N Buy

I recall a friend telling his mother years back he was an alcoholic - her response was - "Oh no dear, you couldn't possibly be that!" She like her daily dose of blackberry brandy.....

Three views of us;

There is how we view ourselves( typically inaccurate when drinking )
How others view us ( about a million miles from above)
And the truth about who we are.

Sobriety gives us a real opportunity in discovery of self and the truth I believe - the journey for each of us in inward

Glad you're here, stay the course

MIRecovery

I have found the people with a problem are unlikely to admit it and the people without a problem will never understand.

I know I have a problem so I keep sober for me and ignore all the not so helpful suggestions. I do listen to people in recovery especially the ones who have a number of years

Sasha4

I'm not sure if I read this story here or somewhere else.

To retell it - a woman's husband had died. Family and friends had gathered to pay their respects to him. The wife said it was sad that in the end, it was the drink that finally killed him. He had always been a big, big drinker. Now he was gone.

Someone said to the wife 'did he never try to stop? Did he never think of going to AA?'

The wife replied when going to AA came up with the reply 'goodness no. He was bad but not that bad!!!!!!!!!'

Just shows what bizarre thinking can go on where drinking is involved and whats a problem and whats not.

JadedGirl

Thanks for all the replies. I think there needs to be more education for people to be aware of the realities of what constitutes an addition tbh there's just too many myths. If there was more education and open discussion (outside of places like this) maybe it would help those of us with a dependency and those we wish would understand. For so long I told myself I couldn't possibly be addicted as I didn't wake up and swig from a bottle of vodka before putting my feet on the floor and shock..I held down a job! Seriously believed (as I think a lot of people do) that you have to be drunk 24/7 and completely unable to function for it to be a problem. A lot of it probably comes down to the media (we only ever see the most dramatic examples of everything). I've certainly learnt a lot lately and suppose I shouldn't get frustrated with other people when it took me long enough to break down the myths xx