My wife and I are newly sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 56
My wife and I are newly sober
Hi all, both my wife and I have been saying that we have a problem with alcohol for a year or so. We are parents to two very young daughters (basically still toddlers) and we binge drink at least once a week and end up totally hammered and recovering for the next few days while everyone around us suffers. Nobody knows how heavily we drink, but this weekend, we decided to stop drinking after another binge (kids were at grandmas). We know we are alcoholics and we know we cannot control our drinking. I feel fortunate to have my wife to support me and vice versa, but I also think it could make it harder since I can only control myself. I am fed up with being a drunk and am concerned that my kids will start to realize eventually. My wife and I made a list of every reason that we don't want to drink and it was long. We are obviously nervous about our journey but excited to not be drunks. Any advice is appreciated and thanks for listening.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Welcome, Redhead. You sound like a mirror image of my wife and me! We finally quit two months ago mostly because we don't want to mess up our kids with our bad example (they are 4 and 7). It's great so far. My moods and temper with the kids are better and we are more rested and health. And dropping 10 pounds ain't bad either. Plus you are at a stage in life where you will not miss the bar scene as much (hopefully).
Cheers!
Cheers!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 56
Thanks for the support everyone. Fluffer, how has it gone? You are right, my kids are 1 and 2 so life in the bars is over, but that wasn't where I would get hammered anyway. Again, I think my wife and I are fortunate to have the support.
Jaded, I read some of your posts and what was going through your head at the times of those posts. Congratulations and thank you for the support everyone.
Jaded, I read some of your posts and what was going through your head at the times of those posts. Congratulations and thank you for the support everyone.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
Welcome to the family! 
I would have responded sooner but I had a fat cat in my lap and couldn't type. 
You'll find lots of support here. Any time you might have the urge to drink, post here instead. We'll try to talk you off the ledge.
I would have responded sooner but I had a fat cat in my lap and couldn't type. You'll find lots of support here. Any time you might have the urge to drink, post here instead. We'll try to talk you off the ledge.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Great to meet you redhead! I'm glad you're paying attention to the warning signs. My husband and I didn't - and it was our undoing. Never dreamed alcohol could take us down, but over the years it did. This won't happen to you - congratulations on your big decision to change your life.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
[QUOTE=redheadinus;5163623]Thanks for the support everyone. Fluffer, how has it gone? You are right, my kids are 1 and 2 so life in the bars is over, but that wasn't where I would get hammered anyway. Again, I think my wife and I are fortunate to have the support.
Well, I think it's a lot easier if both of you guys are on board. If one partner want to quit and the other doesn't, I think that makes it a lot harder. You have the advantage that you are busy and have a lot going on in your life that is good and you're not lonely. So hopefully there is no big void in your life to fill. I don't know if you have read up on the topic or have tried to quit before, but it sounds like you are people who do not drink every day and periodically drink too much, mostly on weekends - in that case the hard part is not stopping. It's beating the tricks and games alcohol plays with your mind to get you back to drinking, like thinking that social occasions will never be fun again without drinking. Which of course is ridiculous if you ever track what you were doing when you drink and how you ended up feeling. So probably if you have not done so you should bone up on some theory about your addicted voice and PAWS and so on so you can recognize what will go on in your own minds. Good luck!
Well, I think it's a lot easier if both of you guys are on board. If one partner want to quit and the other doesn't, I think that makes it a lot harder. You have the advantage that you are busy and have a lot going on in your life that is good and you're not lonely. So hopefully there is no big void in your life to fill. I don't know if you have read up on the topic or have tried to quit before, but it sounds like you are people who do not drink every day and periodically drink too much, mostly on weekends - in that case the hard part is not stopping. It's beating the tricks and games alcohol plays with your mind to get you back to drinking, like thinking that social occasions will never be fun again without drinking. Which of course is ridiculous if you ever track what you were doing when you drink and how you ended up feeling. So probably if you have not done so you should bone up on some theory about your addicted voice and PAWS and so on so you can recognize what will go on in your own minds. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
Redhard - that is so cool that you guys are doing it together. And your kids realize sooner then you think. Mine are 7-14 and when my son was 11 he told me "You drink too much" so I stopped for awile and then ended up trying to "moderate" and worked my way back up to every night and hiding vodka around the house. Stop now. Don't worry about how others "got worse or were so much worse off then you" - Rock bottom is when you stop digging.
Welcome aboard to sober train.
Welcome aboard to sober train.
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