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How will I ever do this?!

Old 01-22-2015, 02:14 AM
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How will I ever do this?!

Have had so many day 1s and I can't seem to get thru it. I have so many stressful and traumatic things going on in my life right now without the drinking! When I try to quit it just adds more stress and anxiety and I feel like my head is spinning and I can never relax. Someone please just tell me how you made it the first 2-3 days to a week? I want to get there so bad but every evening I find myself making excuses to drink and it's so hard to go back and forth with myself. Help!
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Old 01-22-2015, 02:36 AM
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Hello Lily.

I know from my own experience that it was impossible for me to deal with stress and trauma while drinking. The constant illness, and horrible anxiety only got worse. Yet I wondered if it was possible to be happy without alcohol and grass. I certainly didn't believe I would ever be able to handle all of the challenges I was facing clean and sober.

What I discovered was amazing to me. It is not only possible without alcohol (and grass, for me), it is phenomenally better.

When I came here, and began reading posts, I became willing to believe.
Surely, this many people couldn't be wrong...and that is how I managed to get through those first days. I stuck to SR like glue. So many people were there to help, as they will be for you.

You can choose to go to rehab, or to be supervised by a medical professional if you want. There are so many ways to get through those first days of withdrawal that truly work. And it is worth it. It is the best choice I have ever made for myself.

I know you can do this.

Sending you love,

Venus xx
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Old 01-22-2015, 02:46 AM
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That voice in my head that gives me excuses to drink is a liar. I stopped taking advice about things that are important to me from a liar, and my life got better.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!
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Old 01-22-2015, 02:52 AM
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Hi Lily

By the time I quit nearly everything I did was a triugger to drink...amd removing drinking was pretty hard having to deal with all that stuff sober.

But I wanted change.

I got through it day by day (sometimes hour by hour) and I used the support here a lot.

There;s no reason why you can;t do that to that too.

The first step is committing to taking drinking off the table as a viable option

D
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:14 AM
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I agree with all the responses here. That first week is tough but the good news is that it gets easier as you go along. In the evening, can you find something else to do to replace the time you would spend drinking? Do you have any face to face support?

I found that I had to really get my head in the game. I took alcohol completely off the table as an option. And I came to SR a lot! You can do this.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:27 AM
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Lily when it comes down to it you just have to be strong. It's tough takes willpower. But sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want now for what you want later. And trust me, if you can sacrifice alcohol for those first several days, you will love what you get later.

Stay focused and faithful, and you are bound to see the changes you want to see.

More power to you!
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Old 01-22-2015, 05:11 AM
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“Someone please just tell me how you made it the first 2-3 days to a week? I want to get there so bad but every evening I find myself making excuses to drink and it's so hard to go back and forth with myself. Help!”
Aside from the fact that an organization that’s been around successfully helping millions get sober called AA this stopping and stay stopped is quite difficult for the vast majority.
Reading lots of posts here will help answer many questions but many need much more.
When stepping into a meeting room most have banners to remind us of some foundation things most need to focus on at different time.

Answering your question I’d pick EASY DOES IT and FIRST THINGS FIRST.”

Easy, simple concepts that work if we work them.
First thing is under no circumstance pick up the first drink, easy to say and you may need medical attention to get through this period as it can be very dangerous.
I say this because if you continue to drink ALL bets and good things will be impossible to obtain.
I don’t know you but a detox AND rehab may be in order for a fair shot at living sober.
I do know that without us drinking life can become something to welcome each day compared to the present alcohol reliance days.

BE WELL
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Old 01-22-2015, 05:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Lily527 View Post
Have had so many day 1s and I can't seem to get thru it. I have so many stressful and traumatic things going on in my life right now without the drinking! When I try to quit it just adds more stress and anxiety and I feel like my head is spinning and I can never relax. Someone please just tell me how you made it the first 2-3 days to a week? I want to get there so bad but every evening I find myself making excuses to drink and it's so hard to go back and forth with myself. Help!
Lily, for most of us here we had to get to the point of genuinely being ready to quit. We had all tried to quit many times. The difference for me was that above all things in my life, sobriety became number one.
The trying part of it was over. I simply was ready and willing - Sick and tired of being sick and tired to quote a phrase.

I think those who get some sober time are no longer struggling with idea of trying to quit........they simply do. It is then that regardless of conditions or circumstances we do not drink. We have surrendered to the idea that we cannot and will not drink. The one thought that helped my which was true in my life was - My actions and behaviors no longer mimicked my values and beliefs. I was a fraud.....

My experience has been keep trying and hope you get to the point of enough is enough. "Trying" I think sets up for failure, at least it did for me. The levels of stress and anxiety become so much better once alcohol is removed. Life is life however......

I was mentally prepared come hell or high water I was done and specifically I was done trying.......Did not want to die a drunk.

Keep coming back!
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:05 AM
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The first few weeks for me were always rough when I quit, and eventually I would give in as I couldn't bear it, and then be back to square one, the cycle continued for a long time.

We need to get past that initial uncomfortable stage, push through to at least the couple of months stage, that is when there was a real change in my emotions/feelings/anxiety and things levelled out to some degree.

I had to dig myself in for those first few weeks, hermit would have been a good description, I reassessed where I went and who I hung out with, even left my bank cards at home so I couldn't buy alcohol on the way home from work, but it wasn't forever and it got me through that initial period to a better place.

You can do this, but it's gonna take a plan and a resolve to cling on to Sobriety and build those Sober muscles no matter what!!
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:23 AM
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The first 3-5 days are the worst. I had to first recognize that stopping drinking was not and on-off switch for the impacts of all my drinking. There was going to be a very uncomfortable period that I simply had to get through. I had to keep faith that it was going to get better and that I had to ignore every thought that said to drink. I did it by recognizing that I had power over my decisions and all that was required for sobriety was to never pick up the next drink. I accepted responsibility for my life including the decisions and the consequences.
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:29 AM
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lily you can see a lot of good posts on here.Come back as often as you need.You are the only one who can accomplish that first week but we'll all help get you there.
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:43 AM
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Day 3 was a big hurdle for me. I got stuck there many times because I would start to feel better and would decide I could moderate again. I had to accept that alcohol was no longer an option, ever. When I did that, my mind began to find healthy ways to deal with the stuff in my life. As long as there was a crack in the door for alcohol, nothing worked for me.
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:54 AM
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Lily:

You are not alone (multiple day oner here too / but keep trying.) However, please do not believe the lie that you need alcohol to deal with the stressors of life. Its a lie. Pouring spirits down your throat does not change one circumstance in your life except that the issues your dealing with have been compounded by alcohol (from drinking.) From experience, I would drink for any reason whether stress, trauma, happy...It didn't matter. It was just an excuse to drink. Get a plan in place, stick to it and do not deviate from it. You can do this. Have a great day
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Lily527 View Post
I have so many stressful and traumatic things going on in my life right now without the drinking! ...every evening I find myself making excuses to drink and it's so hard to go back and forth with myself.
I drank. Daily. Stress and trauma were among the "reasons" I drank. And because of that, I tended to exaggerate the stress and trauma in my life and downplayed my ability to deal with it without drinking.

I'm not trying to dismiss your stress and trauma, but I am saying you are more capable of handling it without drinking than you are giving yourself credit for. In fact, one of keys of recovery is learning to deal with life without drinking. Once you decide to quit, there's no getting around it. We deal.

So can you.
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Old 01-22-2015, 08:00 AM
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Welcome to SR, Lily; glad you found us.

I had more days than I can count; truly thousands with the vast and overwhelming majority of those days being consecutive. Every single morning I would wake at 3:00 with a racing and pounding heart (after my nightly routine of wine and more wine) vowing that I would save myself, that that day was Day 1 . . . it didn't happen; it didn't happen until I was beaten, broken, soulless and almost destroyed but I had reached the point where I realized and accepted that I could not moderate and that alcohol had nothing at all of value to offer me - only continued destruction.

When I finally did stop, though, I was squarely in the midst of horrendous stress and trauma; becoming sober made it easier to deal with that stress and trauma; I sincerely doubt that I could have handled what turned out to be two extremely difficult years if I had continued to drink.

Of course, the most important thing is not picking up that first drink. Involving your doctor in your plans for sobriety can also be important, especially if withdrawals are a concern. A support system can be extremely helpful - AA, counseling, utilizing SR to its fullest.
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Old 01-22-2015, 08:29 AM
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Thank you so much for all the replies. I had 2 beers last night, didn't get drunk so I don't feel as terrible today. I woke up this morning and just prayed that this will be the day I find the strength to deal with things enough this evening to have zero alcohol. And I prayed for peace. That's all I want. Hopefully this will be my last day 1. Thanks again and happy thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.
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Old 01-22-2015, 08:39 AM
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Good luck Lily, I've been asking myself the same thing for years...how to stop and stay stopped. I have always said that when my life gets better, when I am less stressed etc etc etc then I can stop this...recently I have come to the realization that it might just be the other way around...when I sort this out, then my life will get better
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