i am back...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 174
i am back...
Unfortunately, yes! I have to start again.
Probably you don't know me, i posted a little here. I had 8 months, and i did a stupid thing. U know what. I didn't even wanted it, but i did it anyway.
Anyway, since then, for 2 months i kept stopping easily, but relapsed just as easy after 6 or 7 days.
Today, i noticed something. In the morning i was very convinced that last night was my last night drunk. So i was at noon. But when i left my job, i felt something familiar, that i never felt in a long time. Jittery, restlessness, doubt, anxiety, fear, maybe just one more day... To start again tomorrow, but look at my signature...
I'll have 27 soon. Last year was my best year since 20, or 21, i accomplished so many things... And i was sober most of it. I want that back into my life... I was such a strong person sober, but now i fell like a slave again. Slave to the bottle
Probably you don't know me, i posted a little here. I had 8 months, and i did a stupid thing. U know what. I didn't even wanted it, but i did it anyway.
Anyway, since then, for 2 months i kept stopping easily, but relapsed just as easy after 6 or 7 days.
Today, i noticed something. In the morning i was very convinced that last night was my last night drunk. So i was at noon. But when i left my job, i felt something familiar, that i never felt in a long time. Jittery, restlessness, doubt, anxiety, fear, maybe just one more day... To start again tomorrow, but look at my signature...
I'll have 27 soon. Last year was my best year since 20, or 21, i accomplished so many things... And i was sober most of it. I want that back into my life... I was such a strong person sober, but now i fell like a slave again. Slave to the bottle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 174
And i know what i did wrong these 2 months. I stopped posting and reading here. Maybe i didn't really wanted it.
Thank you soberleigh, no i don't have. AA is out of the question, this forum was my only support. And it worked very good. I have to do it again!
Thank you soberleigh, no i don't have. AA is out of the question, this forum was my only support. And it worked very good. I have to do it again!
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
I'm really glad you're back!
You so deserve a life free of the bondage of booze. You were born to be free, not a slave to anyone or anything. Im so proud of you for choosing to taking back your life. You are still that strong person, you just have to believe it about yourself.
You so deserve a life free of the bondage of booze. You were born to be free, not a slave to anyone or anything. Im so proud of you for choosing to taking back your life. You are still that strong person, you just have to believe it about yourself.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
You posted. That's courageous. Now use the momentum. This time will probably not be as easy due to kindling but all the jitters and such DOES go away. We just want it to be now. I feel you-it's way too slow (actually that would be Ms AV speaking) but sobriety is progressive just like alcoholism...'cept it's real life and not chemically induced whateverville.
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