Day 8 Today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 300
Day 8 Today
Had a good nights sleep, i think my problem is being too hard on myself .
The thing with me is i have always been a provider and nurturer?. 4 sons , family etc. Put all these things first and foremost...always put myself bottom of the list..never thought about it at the time, just now reflecting.
I am divorced now, after 40 years of marriage, then 2 separated so 42 in all.
I did not drink at all until age of 41...except a rare night out.
When my dear brother was brutally murdered at the age of 26, i started drinking, not a lot, just to help me sleep? i did not have any counselling..because me being me.." i am strong i dont need help"
Then last 3 years of being in family home i became a functioning alcoholic..working , running the home.
When i gave up to begin with properly was jan 2012. i went cold turkey and really went for it..one month later, i finally realised that the man i was married to was no more than a stranger to me, he had wanted me to stop drinking, and when i finally did, there was absolutely NO support from him, he was emotionally hurting me, following me around the house, it was awful.
Maybe the fact that i was sober led me to see what was around me. 2 weeks later i left, and continued in my sobriety for 12 months. It was not easy leaving the comfort of a lovely home, and renting, but necessary.
I have to say i am deeply ashamed of putting my 2 youngest sons through this, but they love and support me.
Then i met a wonderful man.. spent 3 month with him we would go out and drink fruit juices in pubs together,,he does not drink.
Then (i was still renting at this time) a neighbour invited me for a meal, and said she had a bottle of wine, would i like a drink? I never even thought about it, just accepted. That started the process that leads me here again. I moved in with him march last year , and started the process of hiding drinks etc..you all know what i mean.
Well here i am again..Day 8 and determined to lead the rest of my life sober, and happy with a wonderful man. I need to keep telling myself how lucky i am, which takes me back to the start of this thread, i need to realise i am a vulnerable person, and not this person who is going to take charge of everything.
Long post, thanks for listening guys.
The thing with me is i have always been a provider and nurturer?. 4 sons , family etc. Put all these things first and foremost...always put myself bottom of the list..never thought about it at the time, just now reflecting.
I am divorced now, after 40 years of marriage, then 2 separated so 42 in all.
I did not drink at all until age of 41...except a rare night out.
When my dear brother was brutally murdered at the age of 26, i started drinking, not a lot, just to help me sleep? i did not have any counselling..because me being me.." i am strong i dont need help"
Then last 3 years of being in family home i became a functioning alcoholic..working , running the home.
When i gave up to begin with properly was jan 2012. i went cold turkey and really went for it..one month later, i finally realised that the man i was married to was no more than a stranger to me, he had wanted me to stop drinking, and when i finally did, there was absolutely NO support from him, he was emotionally hurting me, following me around the house, it was awful.
Maybe the fact that i was sober led me to see what was around me. 2 weeks later i left, and continued in my sobriety for 12 months. It was not easy leaving the comfort of a lovely home, and renting, but necessary.
I have to say i am deeply ashamed of putting my 2 youngest sons through this, but they love and support me.
Then i met a wonderful man.. spent 3 month with him we would go out and drink fruit juices in pubs together,,he does not drink.
Then (i was still renting at this time) a neighbour invited me for a meal, and said she had a bottle of wine, would i like a drink? I never even thought about it, just accepted. That started the process that leads me here again. I moved in with him march last year , and started the process of hiding drinks etc..you all know what i mean.
Well here i am again..Day 8 and determined to lead the rest of my life sober, and happy with a wonderful man. I need to keep telling myself how lucky i am, which takes me back to the start of this thread, i need to realise i am a vulnerable person, and not this person who is going to take charge of everything.
Long post, thanks for listening guys.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 128
I am on Day 8 too, so congratulations to us both. I really relate to your post in terms of being the overly responsible nurturer. I am just now admitting that I need "safe" people a lot and am taking baby steps on how to receive...and that allowing that makes the honest giver feel good!
More power to you!
More power to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by beach20 
I am on Day 8 too, so congratulations to us both. I really relate to your post in terms of being the overly responsible nurturer. I am just now admitting that I need "safe" people a lot and am taking baby steps on how to receive...and that allowing that makes the honest giver feel good!
More power to you!
More power to you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Hi beach 20 and whitehorses,
Im on day 8 as well...lets continue sobriety together!
I can so relate to being the nurturer, the responsible one and holding it all together. That was the story of my life.
we have great support here..congrats to us all ...well done
Im on day 8 as well...lets continue sobriety together!
I can so relate to being the nurturer, the responsible one and holding it all together. That was the story of my life.
we have great support here..congrats to us all ...well done
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
