My progression finally reached its worst point possible. What do I do?
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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My progression finally reached its worst point possible. What do I do?
The progression went like this:
* In college I started out with a reputation as a blackout drinker, meaning I would always and quickly get blacked out at parties. No real negative effect on my life since I would only drink on Friday or Saturday nights, thus never missing class.
* Later in college my drinking habits changed to where I would sometimes carry my drinking into the next day. I would get blacked out, fall asleep, get blacked out, fall asleep, and possibly do that a 3rd or 4th time. I would miss class and my grades would suffer. Also, I started to experience moderate withdrawal symptoms after these continuous drinking sessions. Barely graduated college.
* When I graduated, I had to move back in with my parents. There weren't any opportunities to drink, so I didn't for a while. Except for 1 time when I was invited to a nearby bachelor party, drove home drunk and totalled my car. I thought that incident would motivate me to never drink again.
* Got a good job and moved out my parents' house. Because I was so happy to have gotten the job, I was able to mostly abstain from drinking and even drink moderately on occasion. This lasted about 5 months, until I had another one of my blackout-sleep-blackout-sleep-etc binges that caused me to miss days of work. I thought that incident would motivate me to never drink again. Amazingly, I didn't lose my job.
* Got a new, better job in a better city and I was extremely self-confident. I thought my self-confidence and love of my new job would be enough to keep me from compromising it by drinking heavily. Again, I went months without any drinking affecting my work at all. Then, this New Year's Eve, I went to a bar to have "2-3 beers" and this set off my worse binge yet. For about 6 days all I did was lay in bed and drink myself to sleep, wake up and buy more booze, lay in bed and drink myself to sleep, etc., consuming probably 200+ drinks in total. Long-story-short, I ended up in a hospital.
Now I'm at home (my parents' house) and it's been 60 hours since I sobered up, I'm on Valium, but I'm but I'm still feeling withdrawal symptoms after all this time. The withdrawal symptoms have lessened, but they're still there, which worries me because I feel like I've done some permanent damage. It still feels difficult to talk and walk. My speech feels slightly slurred and I feel disoriented. After 60 hours! I'm afraid these symptoms will never clear. I just want to feel normal again.
My question for you guys is, assuming I actually get rid of these withdrawal effects, what should I do to ensure I never drink again? Anyone here have a similar progression of alcoholism as I do according to my story above?
* In college I started out with a reputation as a blackout drinker, meaning I would always and quickly get blacked out at parties. No real negative effect on my life since I would only drink on Friday or Saturday nights, thus never missing class.
* Later in college my drinking habits changed to where I would sometimes carry my drinking into the next day. I would get blacked out, fall asleep, get blacked out, fall asleep, and possibly do that a 3rd or 4th time. I would miss class and my grades would suffer. Also, I started to experience moderate withdrawal symptoms after these continuous drinking sessions. Barely graduated college.
* When I graduated, I had to move back in with my parents. There weren't any opportunities to drink, so I didn't for a while. Except for 1 time when I was invited to a nearby bachelor party, drove home drunk and totalled my car. I thought that incident would motivate me to never drink again.
* Got a good job and moved out my parents' house. Because I was so happy to have gotten the job, I was able to mostly abstain from drinking and even drink moderately on occasion. This lasted about 5 months, until I had another one of my blackout-sleep-blackout-sleep-etc binges that caused me to miss days of work. I thought that incident would motivate me to never drink again. Amazingly, I didn't lose my job.
* Got a new, better job in a better city and I was extremely self-confident. I thought my self-confidence and love of my new job would be enough to keep me from compromising it by drinking heavily. Again, I went months without any drinking affecting my work at all. Then, this New Year's Eve, I went to a bar to have "2-3 beers" and this set off my worse binge yet. For about 6 days all I did was lay in bed and drink myself to sleep, wake up and buy more booze, lay in bed and drink myself to sleep, etc., consuming probably 200+ drinks in total. Long-story-short, I ended up in a hospital.
Now I'm at home (my parents' house) and it's been 60 hours since I sobered up, I'm on Valium, but I'm but I'm still feeling withdrawal symptoms after all this time. The withdrawal symptoms have lessened, but they're still there, which worries me because I feel like I've done some permanent damage. It still feels difficult to talk and walk. My speech feels slightly slurred and I feel disoriented. After 60 hours! I'm afraid these symptoms will never clear. I just want to feel normal again.
My question for you guys is, assuming I actually get rid of these withdrawal effects, what should I do to ensure I never drink again? Anyone here have a similar progression of alcoholism as I do according to my story above?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome!
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it always worsens unless you stop.
It's probably a good idea to check with your dr about the symptoms you are still experiencing. I hope you feel better soon.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it always worsens unless you stop.
It's probably a good idea to check with your dr about the symptoms you are still experiencing. I hope you feel better soon.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
Welcome to a new start David! The folks here may not have real broad shoulders , but they have many of them to hold you up when you feel you're going to fall...So look up and lift up....Today's a new day.. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 90
I was in a very similar place to you. I drank through most of college, got a really good job, kept drinking more & more and eventually woke up in the emergency room 3 times. My withdrawl symtoms lasted at least 48 hours, but it may have been twice that long to get back to a normal state.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
Yep been there - your story is a lot like mine. Drinking usually leads to be being hospitalized, and even recently a relapse got me Baker-Acted (forced mental hold) because I kept calling 911 thinking I was dying. How humiliating? Nothing good ever comes of me drinking, so I think I'm done this time. I dread going back to AA because I feel like they all think I'm a chronic relapser and can't get my sh*t together. Don't beat yourself up, or dwell on the past - the only true way to get through it is to not drink again, one day at a time. I can't say never again, too overwhelming.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,124
We ( myself, husband and 23 year old son) maintain sobriety via AA & CA. We're active daily in our recovery. AA likes to say something like ....If after a year you're not satisfied, we'll gladly refund your misery...you get point...
.
Bobbi
. Bobbi
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: California
Posts: 112
Hi David R ..
You are among friends here and we are all here to support you in your recovery.
I think that binge drinking is so dangerous because we can convince everyone that we are ok ... The in between times , when we have it together, everyone thinks we are fine , until the next binge / blackout when we end up in strange places, with people we don't know, or wrapping our cars around trees, or in hospitals or jails or all of the above.
It's exhausting ..... When we are sober we give up all this "excitement" and we breathe, sleep, spend real time with people we care about, observe and live clearly....
At 36 days I am beginning to embrace this slower more peaceful way of life. I spent too many years in this cyclical mayhem. I hope that you find peace in your journey. It's there for the taking if you want it. Hugs to you.
You are among friends here and we are all here to support you in your recovery.
I think that binge drinking is so dangerous because we can convince everyone that we are ok ... The in between times , when we have it together, everyone thinks we are fine , until the next binge / blackout when we end up in strange places, with people we don't know, or wrapping our cars around trees, or in hospitals or jails or all of the above.
It's exhausting ..... When we are sober we give up all this "excitement" and we breathe, sleep, spend real time with people we care about, observe and live clearly....
At 36 days I am beginning to embrace this slower more peaceful way of life. I spent too many years in this cyclical mayhem. I hope that you find peace in your journey. It's there for the taking if you want it. Hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
My unwillingness to stop drinking was astonishing. My red flag was my health. I continued to drink after a serious health warning from my doctor. If that didn't stop, I had absolutely no idea what it would take.
So, to answer your question, how do you ensure you don't drink ever again? I suggest checking in here every day and putting as much work into your sobriety as you did your drinking. That takes daily work. You can do it. It's difficult but totally worth it.
We have to be reminded daily why we stopped.
So, to answer your question, how do you ensure you don't drink ever again? I suggest checking in here every day and putting as much work into your sobriety as you did your drinking. That takes daily work. You can do it. It's difficult but totally worth it.
We have to be reminded daily why we stopped.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome DavidRudisha youl find a lot of support here
There are AA mtns Alcoholics Anonymous : Find Local A.A.
There is a secular section here on SR
Nice to meet you
There are AA mtns Alcoholics Anonymous : Find Local A.A.
There is a secular section here on SR
Nice to meet you
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Your progression HASN'T reached "the worst point possible." That would be death. In between here and there, though, you could drive drunk and kill someone, go to prison for something else that happened in a blackout, lose your job, wind up as a vegetable from alcoholic brain damage, develop long-term, irreversible liver failure, or something else equally pleasant.
You asked for advice from those with a similar drinking progression. If I may suggest, alcoholics are a whole lot more alike than they are different, when it comes to alcohol. Often the only thing that distinguishes one alcoholic from another is the length of time they've been drinking and sheer luck.
I often hear from people at AA meetings who did serious prison time or had life-or-death health consequences. It would be easy for me to say, "Well, nothing like that has ever happened to ME," and conclude that I was somehow different. But when I hear those people talk about how alcohol made them FEEL, and what it DID FOR them (as opposed to what it did TO them), I can see that I drank for similar reasons, and that what worked for them is probably equally likely to work for me.
You can get off this elevator any time--no need to ride it all the way to the bottom. AA has been great for me.
You asked for advice from those with a similar drinking progression. If I may suggest, alcoholics are a whole lot more alike than they are different, when it comes to alcohol. Often the only thing that distinguishes one alcoholic from another is the length of time they've been drinking and sheer luck.
I often hear from people at AA meetings who did serious prison time or had life-or-death health consequences. It would be easy for me to say, "Well, nothing like that has ever happened to ME," and conclude that I was somehow different. But when I hear those people talk about how alcohol made them FEEL, and what it DID FOR them (as opposed to what it did TO them), I can see that I drank for similar reasons, and that what worked for them is probably equally likely to work for me.
You can get off this elevator any time--no need to ride it all the way to the bottom. AA has been great for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
hi David,
Have you heard of Rational Recovery and AVRT? it may be helpful for you. it works for me. You might also consider AA to help get your life in order. I use the Principles of AA and RR.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
love from Lenina
Have you heard of Rational Recovery and AVRT? it may be helpful for you. it works for me. You might also consider AA to help get your life in order. I use the Principles of AA and RR.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
I drank till the pain outweighed any benefit and then drank some more. No need for more research at any stage really. Doing it longer just makes more carnage and reduces the grey matter needed to quit. All of us in our 50's wish we could impart our wisdom so that one may enjoy more of their life. Most of us knew in our twenties.
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