Yeah... but I don't wanna GIVE IT UP!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
I became sober just before Thanksgiving . I remember looking at my son's and nephews giggling and playing and talking , and I realized that they are having so much fun - why on earth do I need wine to do the same ? I admit that there are times that I would have liked to have " numbed" myself, but am trying hard to live in the present and enjoy. Great post 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 301
A great and thought-provoking post. I also try to remain mindful of this fact: Almost 49*percent*of U.S. adults*abstain*from alcohol*or drink fewer than 12 drinks per year. As an alcoholic, it's easy to struggle with those ideas of "losing something" by not drinking and/or feeling out of place - however, half of the (US) population seems to feel no need for the stuff either...clearly, we are not alone...
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Great post and a beautiful thought. There definitely is something to idea of reconnecting to the ability to experience unmanipulated or unmanufactured joy. We get accustomed to the idea that fun or enjoyment of a thing or activity needs to be enhanced with alcohol or even the idea that it can't be enjoyed without it but it is just not true. It's there to be found and experienced, put It down and go find it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Once I was awakened to what alcohol really was, thanks Allen Carr, I found that I would have to be insane to keep drinking it. It is certainly a joy to just be here, present and sober. I am so happy that I never have to drink that poison again!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
I'm sorry to hear of your circumstances.... and of your wishing you could 'toss a few back'.
May you find that simple inner child who realizes what a waste that is....
May you find that simple inner child who realizes what a waste that is....
. I didn't mean for it to call any sympathy from you.Bunnez
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
What general sickness of the human condition is it that so many of us - alcoholics and 'normals' alike - feel that in order to live life we need to ingest a mind-altering toxin?
What societal condition is this? What insanity of a species?
What societal condition is this? What insanity of a species?
Children have no concept of death, and young adults justifiably think that mortality is of no concern to them. As I approached my jumping off place, I recognized that this was not the life I imagined and I was not the person I thought and hoped I would be. Realizing this when your life is at best half gone can shake you to your core. I know it did that to me - I could either change or succumb, but I could no longer ignore that truth. I considered suicide but choose sobriety out of fear and hope.
I recently read Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande. There is a passage on page 232 that rang so true for how I came to recovery:
Courage is strength in the face of knowledge of what is to be feared or hoped. Wisdom is prudent strength.
At least two kinds of courage are required in aging and sickness. The first is the courage to confront the reality of mortality - the courage to seek out the truth of what is to be feared and what is to be hoped. Such courage is difficult enough, We have many reasons to shrink from it. But even more daunting is the second kind of courage - the courage to act on the truth we find.
It is the potential for failure that I think keeps many from recovery. After all, if we fail at hope, all that remains is despair. The bigger truth that I have found in recovery is that there is no "there" there - this journey doesn't end with a medal or a ticker tape parade... it just goes on. The trick is finding the small gems that occur in each day and being happy with what is. We have been trained since an early age that wealth, beauty, and power are sources of happiness. But there will always be someone richer, better looking, and more powerful... at least from our perspective.
My highs are not what they were when I was out there drinking. Neither are my lows, and overall I am at peace with who and where I am today, and ever hopeful for what tomorrow may bring. It is more than enough. I never had that before, never thought it was possible.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 106
Free owl thanks I really needed to read this today approaching the weekend. I will let my children be my teachers over the next few days.
--------------------------------------------------- "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a day without any new mistakes in it yet?" Anne of Green Gables.-
--------------------------------------------------- "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a day without any new mistakes in it yet?" Anne of Green Gables.-
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
This was a conversation between my son (just turned 3) and his teacher last week:
Teacher: what comes after 1
Son: 2
Teacher: what does 1+2 equal?
Son: 3
Teacher: what comes after 3?
Son: cheese
....and with that we hold up a two finger peace gesture and pulls a silly face. haha.
Teacher: what comes after 1
Son: 2
Teacher: what does 1+2 equal?
Son: 3
Teacher: what comes after 3?
Son: cheese
....and with that we hold up a two finger peace gesture and pulls a silly face. haha.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by bunnezjp
Um, thanks? I'm not struggling with it. 8 months, Sober, fit, beautiful and comfortable in my own skin, good high paying career....no thoughts of relapse, this was a thought and response to your post . I didn't mean for it to call any sympathy from you.
Bunnez
. I didn't mean for it to call any sympathy from you.Bunnez
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by ubntubnt
This was a conversation between my son (just turned 3) and his teacher last week:
Teacher: what comes after 1
Son: 2
Teacher: what does 1+2 equal?
Son: 3
Teacher: what comes after 3?
Son: cheese
....and with that we hold up a two finger peace gesture and pulls a silly face. haha.
Teacher: what comes after 1
Son: 2
Teacher: what does 1+2 equal?
Son: 3
Teacher: what comes after 3?
Son: cheese
....and with that we hold up a two finger peace gesture and pulls a silly face. haha.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Eddiebuckle
Personally, I think it's the sense that "this is it." When I was drinking I never thought much about it, almost like it was always in the periphery of my consciousness but I dared not follow that line of logic too far for where it might lead me. Life is short, we see evidence of our mortality with ever greater frequency as life goes on, but because we are recipients rather than bearers of the evidence it somehow is easy to ignore.
Children have no concept of death, and young adults justifiably think that mortality is of no concern to them. As I approached my jumping off place, I recognized that this was not the life I imagined and I was not the person I thought and hoped I would be. Realizing this when your life is at best half gone can shake you to your core. I know it did that to me - I could either change or succumb, but I could no longer ignore that truth. I considered suicide but choose sobriety out of fear and hope.
I recently read Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande. There is a passage on page 232 that rang so true for how I came to recovery:
Courage is strength in the face of knowledge of what is to be feared or hoped. Wisdom is prudent strength.
At least two kinds of courage are required in aging and sickness. The first is the courage to confront the reality of mortality - the courage to seek out the truth of what is to be feared and what is to be hoped. Such courage is difficult enough, We have many reasons to shrink from it. But even more daunting is the second kind of courage - the courage to act on the truth we find.
It is the potential for failure that I think keeps many from recovery. After all, if we fail at hope, all that remains is despair. The bigger truth that I have found in recovery is that there is no "there" there - this journey doesn't end with a medal or a ticker tape parade... it just goes on. The trick is finding the small gems that occur in each day and being happy with what is. We have been trained since an early age that wealth, beauty, and power are sources of happiness. But there will always be someone richer, better looking, and more powerful... at least from our perspective.
My highs are not what they were when I was out there drinking. Neither are my lows, and overall I am at peace with who and where I am today, and ever hopeful for what tomorrow may bring. It is more than enough. I never had that before, never thought it was possible.
Children have no concept of death, and young adults justifiably think that mortality is of no concern to them. As I approached my jumping off place, I recognized that this was not the life I imagined and I was not the person I thought and hoped I would be. Realizing this when your life is at best half gone can shake you to your core. I know it did that to me - I could either change or succumb, but I could no longer ignore that truth. I considered suicide but choose sobriety out of fear and hope.
I recently read Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande. There is a passage on page 232 that rang so true for how I came to recovery:
Courage is strength in the face of knowledge of what is to be feared or hoped. Wisdom is prudent strength.
At least two kinds of courage are required in aging and sickness. The first is the courage to confront the reality of mortality - the courage to seek out the truth of what is to be feared and what is to be hoped. Such courage is difficult enough, We have many reasons to shrink from it. But even more daunting is the second kind of courage - the courage to act on the truth we find.
It is the potential for failure that I think keeps many from recovery. After all, if we fail at hope, all that remains is despair. The bigger truth that I have found in recovery is that there is no "there" there - this journey doesn't end with a medal or a ticker tape parade... it just goes on. The trick is finding the small gems that occur in each day and being happy with what is. We have been trained since an early age that wealth, beauty, and power are sources of happiness. But there will always be someone richer, better looking, and more powerful... at least from our perspective.
My highs are not what they were when I was out there drinking. Neither are my lows, and overall I am at peace with who and where I am today, and ever hopeful for what tomorrow may bring. It is more than enough. I never had that before, never thought it was possible.
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