Kero

Welcome! Binge drinking will just get worse. The hangovers last longer, and those "what did I do" moments get worse. You think that you can control it since you don't drink every day, but that is an illusion.

Best of luck.

My rewards for sober are no more hangovers, no more blackouts. No more falling. I had a relapse this week and must have fallen and hurt my tail bone.

Getagrip

I dont like myself when i drink either, i hate not remembering anything, i thought the hangovers being worse and blackouts were because i was getting older but i actually think its because i drink lots more. I wish i could shift this feeling of regret/ shame and nervousness that i am feeling at the moment, again a result of last nights drink until 4.30 this morning :-(

Getagrip

Ouch, i hope tail bone pain gets better, i did the same a few weeks ago, i fell that many times in 1 night people at work still laugh at me

Kero

For me it was both. I am 40 and my body just can't handle booze like I used to. I was drinking more too, but my hangovers got worse and worse. I started getting major anxiety attacks after drinking. When I've been sober those are almost completely gone. I would get major insomnia where I literally did not sleep all night.

I'm still battling my latest hangover. I've been on a diet of crackers and water all day.

Try not to get too down on yourself. Remember what a single drink will lead to. Every day I think to myself "what will happen if I drink today?"

Getagrip

I too have nights where i feel like i have not slept all night, thats good advice to think what will happen today if i have a drink.

I do let myself down every time, i wish i could go out and have 1 or 2, but i cant do it, ive tried so many times, even alternating that every other drink is a soft drink and i get out and it all goes out the window, im a drunken mess a few hours later, showing myself and everyone with me up.

I hope you feel better soon, i feel ok in myself now but it is 11.30 at night here and im under the duvet watching tv, just my brain that is overthinking