riig

Im back again in the bottom.. I have been here before, and I have sworn never to be back here again. And yet here I am, feeling like s**t, having let others down. I even cheated on my GF. It is a cycle from which I now feel I cannot escape. When will this end? I am not even sure I can call this a relapse since my commitments usually last for 2 weeks. Falling after such a short effort maybe just means I never left the habit.

I'm sad, I want to cry. Worst Christmas day ever. And it is all my fault.

However, I'm here. Ready to give this a new try.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back!!

What do you do for those 2 weeks, other than relying on sheer willpower not to drink?

For me left alone with my own thoughts, I too used to drink after a few weeks, because my own mind, which was addicted to alcohol wanted to drink, so there was only one inevitable outcome in isolation!!

Support was what I needed, something outside of myself to short circuit my own mind, whether it's meetings, regular SR attendance, whatever it is, something different to what your doing now.

Nothing changes, no new results, if we keep doing the same thing!!

You can do this, go at things with a new plan and you'll get there!!

riig

I guess you are right. I have consistently proved that willpower alone only keeps me going for two weeks or so.

Thanks for your response.

least

This cycle of drinking and despair will end when you take steps to end it. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.

riig

Thanks Least!

I have sworn to break the cycle, but the only thing I break are the promises I have made to my lived ones. I don't even want to tell them how I feel because I think my credibility is almost completely lost by now.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk the best option for ppl like us is to stay sober

Know you can do it and its a much better life

Dee74

Welcome back riig

I agree with the others - make a plan - think about the changes you need to make, and find more support

D

awuh1

Sounds like a good day to get sober. I would recommend that you try something different. Perhaps something radically different than what you have done in the past. Perhaps going to regular AA meetings would fit that bill. Just a suggestion. Whataya got to lose.

JanieJ

A lot of us have been where you are., Riig.

I can understand your despair, but there are ways to do this.

it's not easy at first but it is worth it.

Echoing everyone else here, you need to do something different this time.

You can do this !

riig

Thaks all. Im in day 2 and i hate it! Why? Because i do not drink everyday, so day 2 feels like i have not accomplished anything and yet the pain from the last binge episode is still so fresh. I hope from the bottom of my heart that this is the last. I cant undo my mistakes as much as i want to. I do however want to make amendments to people i hurt. The problem is I dont think people believe in me anymore. Any ideas?

Jsbodhi

I had a horrible christmas day too. I'm on day 2 and starting to feel a bit better.
I'm a binger too.
Hang in there, it'll happen for us

Strength123

Don't keep beating yourself up. It's happened, it can't be undone and you can make sure it will not happen again. Stay positive

Hereandnow2

I could not stick to any commitment till I got support from aa. After you have a bit if sobriety, people will start to believe you.

Time2Focus

Stay strong. There is a lot of support out there and if you make the positive changes in your life toward sobriety, your loved ones will see that you have turned your life around and a different person

Dee74

How are you doing now riig?

D

petals

Keep posting here on sr. There is so much help and support here.x

riig

Thanks for asking Dee. Sad but climbing