I Wanna Talk Tonight.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
I Wanna Talk Tonight.
I've been on an intake of wine and beer all day everyday for the last couple of weeks.
What is bothering me is that I really wanna talk through some stuff here but I'm switched off and numb, consistantly anaesthetised
My posts are erratic and I can't desribe what I'm feeling. The crazy poetry and stuff makes me cringe, a manifestation of wine/sherry binges. It's embarrrasssing.
I really wanna talk about stuff. I Wanna talk about what I've been doing for recovery rationnaly and I want to be able to respond to your kiind messages accordingly.
I'm upset as hell because I'm not giving myself a chane to be heard and listen. I can'y reply with what I want to say becase im soaked.
The shops are shut over xmas, I bought a load of Chai and green tea. I wanna do antoher detox and I really wanna talk properly.
There's lots of stuff happening with me atually at the moment with this outpatient rehab. I met with my key support worker today, she was pretty cool but it was so apparent that I'm so swithed off and that upset me. I ouldn't answer basic questions I felt like a gonner.
waliking home I had craving to jump off the loal bridge again, like those ever similar ones you get when walking past a shop 'Don't buy drink, don't buy drink, don't buy drink' you know, exept this voice said 'Don't jump off the bridge, don't jump off the bridge, don't jump off the bridge'. That's a new feeling.
I want to say I don't wanna worry anyone here with that said, I think I have so much to give and so that won'y happen, In the meantime I'm just so anaethetised and swithed off. I'm getting all the help possible here. I've signed up for stuff at this rehab cnetre.
I just really wann put down this drink and talk with you, rationally and with the thought I know I'm capable of. I'm just in tears you know it's desperate stuff. I really wanna talk properly, this isn't me, this is Jim the soak.
My Christmas wish Is that I put down the drink tommoroow and start on the tea. I want to be sober on Christmas day this year, that is my immediate goal in life. I wanna give myself a chance.
Christmas blessings one and all.
What is bothering me is that I really wanna talk through some stuff here but I'm switched off and numb, consistantly anaesthetised
My posts are erratic and I can't desribe what I'm feeling. The crazy poetry and stuff makes me cringe, a manifestation of wine/sherry binges. It's embarrrasssing.
I really wanna talk about stuff. I Wanna talk about what I've been doing for recovery rationnaly and I want to be able to respond to your kiind messages accordingly.
I'm upset as hell because I'm not giving myself a chane to be heard and listen. I can'y reply with what I want to say becase im soaked.
The shops are shut over xmas, I bought a load of Chai and green tea. I wanna do antoher detox and I really wanna talk properly.
There's lots of stuff happening with me atually at the moment with this outpatient rehab. I met with my key support worker today, she was pretty cool but it was so apparent that I'm so swithed off and that upset me. I ouldn't answer basic questions I felt like a gonner.
waliking home I had craving to jump off the loal bridge again, like those ever similar ones you get when walking past a shop 'Don't buy drink, don't buy drink, don't buy drink' you know, exept this voice said 'Don't jump off the bridge, don't jump off the bridge, don't jump off the bridge'. That's a new feeling.
I want to say I don't wanna worry anyone here with that said, I think I have so much to give and so that won'y happen, In the meantime I'm just so anaethetised and swithed off. I'm getting all the help possible here. I've signed up for stuff at this rehab cnetre.
I just really wann put down this drink and talk with you, rationally and with the thought I know I'm capable of. I'm just in tears you know it's desperate stuff. I really wanna talk properly, this isn't me, this is Jim the soak.
My Christmas wish Is that I put down the drink tommoroow and start on the tea. I want to be sober on Christmas day this year, that is my immediate goal in life. I wanna give myself a chance.
Christmas blessings one and all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
JimJim - You CAN make the Christmas the start of your new life!!
It's hard to see it when we're under the influence, believe me I know.
Get some rest, tomorrow is another new day. Been there, done that, got the t-shirts.
You deserve a life that's not overwhelmed with all these feelings. Go for it!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
It's hard to see it when we're under the influence, believe me I know.
Get some rest, tomorrow is another new day. Been there, done that, got the t-shirts.
You deserve a life that's not overwhelmed with all these feelings. Go for it!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by Purpleknight 
What's on your mind Jim!! You know there's someone here 24/7 on SR!! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by Impurrfect
JimJim - You CAN make the Christmas the start of your new life!!
It's hard to see it when we're under the influence, believe me I know.
Get some rest, tomorrow is another new day. Been there, done that, got the t-shirts.
You deserve a life that's not overwhelmed with all these feelings. Go for it!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
It's hard to see it when we're under the influence, believe me I know.
Get some rest, tomorrow is another new day. Been there, done that, got the t-shirts.
You deserve a life that's not overwhelmed with all these feelings. Go for it!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
My Christmas wish for you is to get your true Jim back and leave the soaked Jim in the past. We are all so much more than the mess we're reduced to when we're dulled and jumbled up by alcohol. No judgement here and no need to feel embarrassed, we've all been there. Rest up, come back tomorrow and start the sober journey to your true self. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 107
Take a hot shower, cry in there if you want, drink some of that tea. Cry some more if you feel like it. I always feel much better after letting my emotions run their course. Please don't harm yourself, I don't even really know you and it would break my heart. People here care about you and will stand by you through this journey. It does get better, there is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Merry Christmas to you folks too, you are always too kind. I gotta lot of time for other people, 'speially ones around here. It's frustrating that I'm wasting my energy. I'll bid you good night, I'm pretty close to oblivion.
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