Kero

Well, it happened. A bad relapse. I let everyone down.

The scary part was I saw it coming and did nothing about it. There was no denial, I just wanted to drink and I did it. I knew it was going to make me feel awful, and of course it did.

I don't want to make excuses. I did it and I have to man up and admit it.

24hrsAday

But, you are Back.. i have Fallen MANY times. some of us Learn a little faster than others.. and it takes what it takes. you can make it if you want it bad enough.

ardy

Kero we all have small and major falls in life its how you pick yourself up and brush off and try to get back on the well lite path.. hugs prayers and a punch in the arm.. there ardy..

Thepatman

Dust yourself off and go back at it.

A plan tweak might be a good idea

tomsteve

Glad ya made it back. Your experience is one that reminds me relapse ends witha drink.

Iffen ya want to stay sober yerbgonna have to do more than just admit ya drank.

unitedguy

Happened to me too over the weekend. I guess both have a new day 1!

TopEndChick

You're still here though

Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me
I did that a few times before finally making a firm decision
Could be called part of the process for some
But, I would not press my luck
For the drunk the end is usually not too pretty
MM

strategery

Kero, you've been making some awesome progress. Try not to focus too much on the negative, but learn what you can do differently next time from this experience. As others have mentioned, you are back, which is good.

Findingtheway

That shows me you had awareness. I'm learning this as i go as well. We need to be vigilant that when these thoughts/ideas occur we don't NEED to act on them.

If you are aware of what will happen, you need to take different action to avoid it. That's what AA is for for me. That's what SR is for me as well.

Glad you are back, and thank you for the sobering reminder of what will happen if i pick up the first drink.

Kero

Thanks for the support everyone. I am mad at myself but I am getting right again.

I didn't even enjoy drinking... not one bit.

Soberwolf

I understand Kero

You can do this

Good luck

FreeOwl

I'm sorry to hear it...

I know that feeling well.

May you find in this experience the wisdom and motivation to make the changes that will bring you into active and sound sobriety.

OklaBH

the guilt/blame/ shame is what your AV wants. That will keep you drinking. You didnt enjoy it because you know it will kill you.

I relapsed soooo many times. Its dangerous. Its Russian Roulette. Dont let this define your recovery. Its over and done with. OK? It will suck for a few days because you have to sober up again. Now, you need to up the game plan. How will you stay sober? There are alot of resources. Im glad you are posting and gathering ideas.

First, I would see a doctor. There is always more going on than "just drinking"

keep us updated.

pattyspaw

Hey Kero; I relapsed on Friday with 6 days sober; I also knew what was coming and actually felt a little sick to my stomach just thinking about drinking; AV is very strong and will lie to keep you drinking; we must never give up on ourselves

Steve123123

I feel for you, Kero. As many have also said, I am very very familiar with so many instances of losing my sobriety. And also as many have said, I genuinely support the idea of learning from this experience. I also recommend, if I may, that you write down what you have gained. Whether it's making note the strength of a particular previously unseen trigger, describing in detail how you now feel and don't want to feel again, etc.

I also have the utmost respect for you putting this on yourself. That type of responsibility for your actions, in my opinion, is going to be what gets you through successfully in the end.

Kero

I definitely need a better plan. I'm still not sure if AA is right for me, but a meeting probably would have helped. I also need to find a way to get to this site while at work so nobody can track it.

I'm trying to go over Friday in my head and remember what set me off. I have to find a better way for dealing with stress.

mistory5

Yes you fell, but you are getting back up by talking about here. I kept doing it too, if it wasn't for SR community giving me encouragement to keep trying I would of totally given up. I only have 36 days but for me its a truly amazing thing. Believe in yourself and stick to a plan.

Ruby2

Hi Kero, I missed you on the weekend thread. It is so easy to go off the beam. You can learn from this to head it off.The last time I relapsed I should have seen it coming. In retrospect it was so obvious.

Glad you are back.

Ruby2

As for getting here while at work I use my phone.