ShenzyT

I've got a cheek posting on the "Newcomers to Recovery" forum.
I should be posting on a forum called "Those who don't have a scrap of willpower" ...
Really thought I could moderate & be a sensible drinker !!....
No chance ....
My 9 year old daughter now sits with a glass of blackcurrant juice in a plastic wine glass, so she can be "just like mum" ....
My 7 year old son told his class teacher the other day "my mums favourite thing is red wine" ....

Lots of folks saying to me - no point in giving up until after the New Year ....
I want today to be my day 1 again !!!! 4 days before Christmas ....

I've put on another stone .... terrible skin, aching liver, anxiety through the roof again ....

Came off of my Sertraline a few months ago - trying to go back on again (with a bottle of red wine every night) .... jesus - it's hell......
No one to blame but myself....
Can I do it this time ?????
I really really want out of this hell that I'm in.

Thank you all so very much for listening....again.
xxxx

Marcher13

Shenzy, what would you most like for Christmas? You can make it happen, so many of us have. Have you joined the December class here?

Thepatman

So sorry about your set back.

Have you identified the trigger? Stress for the holidays maybe?

Funny but not funny. My 7 year old, after an event at school were I had to pick him up, said out loud, daddy are you mad and going to drink beer? Yikes!!!
Now days he tells me, daddy you are so calm now that you drink tea!

Beat the iron while it's hot, get back on the horse. The holidays can quickly become at booze fuelled disaster. Comes January 02, there will be tons of people posting. Why? Because they should spend more time preparing their stay sober holiday plan than buying gifts.

You can do this!! Rooting for you!

Dee74

I tried to get sober for about 15 years Shenzy - in the end it's about doing everything we can not to drink.

Think of what you've tried in the past -= then think of some more stuff to add, and some more things to change.

It's not easy - but it is worthwhile, many many times over for you - and the kids

You can do this

D

instant

Have another go

Try not to make the same mistakes again ( i know that is easier said than done)

sprout50

Best gift you can give yourself this Christmas is sobriety. Those who will "wait until after New Years" will more than likely just be racking up more regret. Tweak your plan, if you can, make your house an alcohol free zone, have a kids New Years Eve party(plan stuff for your little ones and stay at home with them instead of out with adults etc)and stick around here.

It's not just a case of will power. You also need a plan and support. You can do this!

Soberwolf

You can do this

BernieE

What Dee said. Double your efforts, improve your plan, simplify your life. It's worth it and you can do it.

JanieJ

Hi Shenzy, good to meet you.

I tried to give up for years, just like Dee. In the end I just got exhausted by it all and was beginning to get ill.

I'm finding that I need a solid plan, support and change of lifestyle.

Who is telling you not to give up 'til New Year ? It's not their life, it's yours.

You can do this !

ShenzyT

Thank you everyone for your brilliant replies.
I am determined .... this has got to be my last day 1 .... I don't have the strength or energy to fail this time ... I don't have the strength & energy to carry on drinking either....
My anxiety is sky high just now .... I suffer badly from health anxiety .... (fuelled by a bottle of red wine every night) ...

xxxx

ShenzyT

Thank you everyone for your brilliant replies.
I am determined .... this has got to be my last day 1 .... I don't have the strength or energy to fail this time ... I don't have the strength & energy to carry on drinking either....
My anxiety is sky high just now .... I suffer badly from health anxiety .... (fuelled by a bottle of red wine every night) ...

xxxx

strategery

Shenzy, you can do it. *hugs*
One of the things I would think about is what to do when you have cravings and how you're going to deal with them. I have found this to be an indispensable tool.

You know you need to quit and that you need to quit now. If you continue, life is not going to get any better by continuing, but worse.

Do NOT let your addictive voice con you into putting it off. I did that once, and two years went by. I now have a month sober and am much happier, less stressed and have regained my self-confidence. Wish I had gotten sober years ago.

brynn

I didn't have the strength or energy to carry on either, Shenzy. I was just flat out pooped!
Sending you tons of strength and support! I believe you can do this. I believe in you.

dwtbd

You have the will power in you , you just need to 'turn' it around. You know what that bottle costs in the future when you open it, and yet you opened it anyway, thats willpower. The AV hijacked the will power and uses it against you, you can take it back and turn it around, sounds silly but this little thought experiment helped me. You Can Do this, rootin for ya

HeadLump

Welcome back, Shenzy You're here with people who understand.

The only one who can get you out of hell is you, but realising that's where you are is a major step forward - and there's plenty of help here on SR and outside too.

You're worthy of happiness, Shenzy, and now's the best time to start reaching for it xxx

SoberLeigh

Shenzy, of course there's a point/reason of stopping now and not waiting until after New Year; in fact, there are many. I suspect that those who tell you otherwise are either suffering from alcoholism themselves (alcoholics don't want to lose a drinking buddy) or simply do not have the first clue about the grips of addiction.

Good for you for making this your new Day 1.

Plan on being very gentle and kind to yourself in these early days; have a handy supply of those things you find calming - your favorite CDs, soothing essences for a warm bath, soothing tea; hot chocolate; your favorite sweet treats.

You may also want to perform a google search for breathing techniques to soothe anxiety.

Stay close to SR; we are here for you and solidly in your corner.