Sunsetred

I'm back after on/off attempts since August!

I start day 1 again every Sunday or Monday but by Thursday forget the horrible hangover from the weekend before, the shame of the embarrassing things I said and did and go out and buy that bottle of wine! I kid myself again and again I can moderate my drinking. So Thursday is usually sharing a bottle of wine with the other half, by Saturday I'm prob drinking 10-15 beers! Wake up feeling guilty, awful and tired and vow to stop AGAIN! And so the vicious cycle continues!!

I need help getting past the idiotic illusions I create in my head that I can drink like a 'normal' person! Deep down I know I can't, I'm pretty sure the people close to me know I can't, yet we all seem to maintain this silence about it, like if no-one mentions it it's not really happening!!

biminiblue

Acceptance is the answer. Accepting I cannot drink again was a very freeing thing.

I'm glad you're giving it another chance. You won't be sorry if you stick to sobriety.

doggonecarl

Welcome back.

Though well intentioned, hangover promises to be sober don't last. Your addiction knows it can get you to roll over on your promise. So you have to fight it. That's where support comes in. I don't know what your "plan" is, if face-to-face support is an option, or if you think you can do it on your own. But by Thursday you need something in place to keep you committed to the promise that brought you back to SR this morning.

Good luck.

Nowsthetime

Good. This is what you need, acceptance and resolve. Come Thursday read this post and do it every Thursday from now on. You will not regret it.

Thepatman

Glad you came back. You can kick this to the curb once and for all.

tomsteve

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.


The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.

The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!" Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?" Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink." Or "What's the use anyhow?"

When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane. These stark and ugly facts have been confirmed by legions of alcoholics throughout history. But for the grace of God, there would have been thousands more convincing demonstrations. So many want to stop but cannot.

There is a solution


I'm glad yer seeing the seriousness of the problem. What is posted above is a small excerpt from the big book of alcoholics anonymous. It has a pretty good solution but involves more than gettin over the delusion that we can drink like normal drinkers or in moderation.
Been a pretty good solution for me for some time now.