ArtFriend

Hey ya'll -

Checking in on this fab-tabuously SUNNY Monday morn. It really has been terribly dreary here as of late and my SAD is kicking my tush.

Been ruminating about life (per usual) and all the pain (and love) in it. I realize this is a support forum so people posting here are usually in pain. However, it makes me sad to see so many struggling. Suffering is the one constant that most religions agree upon. Man's natural state is to suffer. Like that bumper sticker: You are born naked, cold and crying and then it gets worse.

So...what is my point? I dunno really...thinking out loud. I came perilously close to self-medicating again this weekend. This time I actually went into the liquor store. It is a huge chain store here in Texas that sells everything from gourmet food to rot gut. I bought some hazelnut gourmet coffee after drifting down the vodka isle. Another close call.

Anyway...hope everyone has a wonderful week. Santa is coming soon so be good for goodness sake.

strategery

I am glad you stayed strong Artfriend. You should be proud of yourself.

Thepatman

To be honest, I have not been in pain since I stopped pouring poison down my throat.

I have blah days, but that's just normal life. And I have great days, like today, and I feel like I can climb the tallest mountain.

SoberLeigh

So glad that you shot that AV down, ArtFriend. As Dee would say, "You are building those sober muscles". It just that kind of trial and victory that puts us on the sobriety train and powers it down the track.

You might be 'feeling it' yet but you are making great progress.

Take a moment to celebrate your power.

Soberwolf

Thank you Artfriend have a nice week too

doggonecarl

Wrong.

I agree, there is suffering aplenty. But the worse kind of suffering is being blind to the good.

That's what alcoholics and addicts do, we focus on the bad to the exclusion of the good.

doggonecarl

--

ArtFriend

Carl - I didn't write that bumper sticker. Just used it to illustrate my state of mind over the weekend. I do see the good (like SR) so don't misunderstand me.

Nonsensical

Medicines are supposed to be helpful. What you were considering doing would never be helpful.





Congrats on maintaining your resolve!

ArtFriend

Ha... sober muscles! Thanks Leigh. I feel like I just threw down my crutches and am wobbly walking. Won't be ready for the leg press for some time.

Anna

AF, there are people here ho are suffering, but there also lots of people who are thriving. I'm really glad that you got through the weekend.

ArtFriend

You are right Anna - and those that are thriving are helping the others which is fantastic. As an analogy - I watch how my sighted cats assist my blind kitty. They let her eat first and guide her in a fashion. She is always protected by the others. Goodness lives here on SR and extends to the animal world too!

Ruby2

Hi ArtFriend, I'm glad you didn't drink. Wandering down the vodka aisle won't get you anywhere but trouble.

I sometimes have trouble reading on here. There are so many struggling people. The pain. The misery, confusion, frustration. If you drank you would be joining those in pain. That's why I join the weekenders forum on Thursday. It's a great reminder that there is a whole great world out there that doesn't involve drinking.

Soberpotamus

Glad you didn't buy any, ArtFriend.

I try and focus on whatever is good as often as I can, btw. It's easy to see bad though. Guess we are all here for whatever reasons, humans congregating on this earth... so let's make the most of it, right?

ArtFriend

Yup...you are right Ruby. At one point I scanned the subject lines of the Newcomers Section and it was just so sad... lost, stuggling, need help, ashamed, sad and lonely, fear...it hurts to see people hurting. BUT...I know there are many people who can offer help and that feels great.

Maybe I will join the weekenders thing too.

Jennie - yes, we need each other to stay strong. Thanks!!

GroundhogDay

Wow, ArtFriend, thank you for this. I did not know cats would do this, and I have had cats all of my life. Currently, I have a pair of male siblings. They are never vicious with each other, but they are competitive. They do groom each other. One time when I was trying to comb a sticky substance out of one cat's fur, the other one tried to swat my hand away. I think he thought I was hurting his brother.

Soberpotamus

My four cats are pretty competitive too, GroundhogDay. I'd like to think that if one was blind or handicapped in some way, the others would support her... hmm. Nice thought anyway My youngest two were compatible for a while, until the youngest grew up. Now she is slapped at and hissed at more often than not.

GroundhogDay

Sorry to jump on you about this too, but NO! Man's natural state is NOT to suffer. It's true that we do have to suffer through illness, the pain and loss of loved ones, etc. But I think we create much of our own suffering through unrealistic ambitions and expectations, addictions, laziness, etc.

Don't get me started on religion. I have a strong faith in God and believe that our primary purpose in life is to love and serve others with compassion. It saddens me that the world's religions have done such a good job of distorting that simple message.

Aellyce

Hey AF, great choice of coffee there

A topic that always interests me, and now thinking what to respond... this older thread and my comment came to mind:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5034790

Nuudawn

That actually made me chuckle...thank you AF.

It all comes down to perspective now doesn't it? Some days my lenses are clear and brightly hued and others, they are filmy and dark. Yesterday was more the latter for me also. Somewhere along the line I was able to pinpoint my loneliness (further highlighted by the decor and soundtrack of the season). It was my first day off in almost 2 weeks. I had been sooooooooo looking forward to it....which turned out anticlimatic since I had nobody to do anything with...

Gotta make some new friends in my new town. I just "googled" ways of how to do that.

When the dark feelings hit, I have a couple choices it seems. I can feel sorry for myself which could result in a drinking trigger (which it did and has in the past)....or

I can figure out how to solve my problems...at the very least, try. Yesterday I went to the library to print off some mexican sugar skulls colouring pages (I have no printer currently)...and then I went to Walmart and bout some tempera paints and some paintbrushes. There was hot chocolate and some crying..but mostly, the painting project was kind of cool...