SDH73

This is day 3 again for me and I feel like I'm going to lose it. Not that I want a drink, just haven't gotten any sleep. Working a late night today, have to turn around and work early tomorrow morning. Not going to get much sleep tonight even if I can physically fall asleep.

I've resigned myself that I'm going to fail one of my classes, and it's actually kind of a load off. I can probably still salvage my other class with a passing grade.

Hands are still shaky, face is still red, still feel overall yucky. Looking forward to a day off on Monday when I can sleep in a little and take some kind of care of myself. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep by then.

Not really much point to this post, just wanted to put down how I'm feeling in words.

Man, really don't want to go through this again!

brynn

Good for you for posting about how you're feeling instead of picking up the bottle.
I hope you get some sleep as this is a major component in maintaining our sobriety. Keep yourself safe.

biminiblue

SDH73

Thanks, you two! Just having a bit of a pity party, here. Don't know how I'm going to manage to be nice and attentive to others' needs when all I want to do is crawl into bed and hide.

Soberpotamus

Is it too late to withdraw from the class?

brynn

I so hear that!
Don't let it become an excuse to drink though.

sprout50

Early sobriety is tough but better you write down how you feel than drink on it. Hang in there.

SDH73

SJ, yes it is. All work needs to be completed by midnight tomorrow. I'm working all night tonight and all day tomorrow. There is no way I'd be able to complete it all in the few hours that I won't be at work. There is also the issue of having to rack up another 50 hours or on the online homework site. Unless the prof gives me some sort of reprieve where I can work on it next week there is just no way.

SDH73

I'm pretty safe from my AV for the next couple of days. Too much work. When it does come back hopefully I can reread this thread and play the tape forward.

SoberComposer

Benedryl helped me a lot to help push me into sleep, it still does but not needed as much. Stay strong, I completely know this phase and it does pass. I felt like a zombie from lack of sleep for quiet awhile. Sobriety is like climbing steps and each step has it's own obstacle, realization and lesson to learn that will bring a special freedom to us.

AcceptingChange

You have two obligations that require your attention at the same time.
Why not call in to work sick, and focus on your schoolwork?
Why is school the obligation that is being ignored instead of work?

matilda123

Congratulations on three days!

Every institution is, of course, different, but at mine there are extenuating circumstances that will allow you to withdraw or take an incomplete from a class, even at the last minute. The best thing to do would be to speak to someone in your department of student life. They will contact the professor, often, on your behalf. Also, by law, student life cannot reveal the reason that you need an accommodation (if your institution is in the U.S.). Therefore, you should be able to share information with a counselor without having to divulge it to your professor.

PurpleKnight

Hang in there, day 3 is early days, the body/mind needs more than a few days to adjust when it took years of drinking to get here!!

You can do this!!

Dee74

After you submit the work, resist the urge to slacken off...start thinking of a recovery plan, man.

It's a cliche but it's so true...nothing changes if nothing changes.

make some changes

D

Hevyn

SDH - I remember feeling just that way. Everything's going to get better. You're right, you never want to go through this again - and you don't have to. Once the worst is over, things will begin to look a whole lot brighter - and your new life will begin. Posting does help with the anxiety - and we all understand. We sure don't think of it as a pity party.

Kris47

Get some rest, if not sleep.

Pray.

And remember that all you can do is look forward and not back.

You'll get through this. Day 3 is a good start. Keep moving forward again.

Sending prayers your way!

SDH73

About the schoolwork, I'm not too worried about it. I'll finish what I can and fire off an email to the prof to see what he has to say about it. I finished my actual degree in May and just enrolled in some online classes this semester for no other reason than I'm not doing much else. It's a community college so it's pretty cheap.

This does kind of leave me wondering, though...should I continue to take classes next semester or take the time off and focus on sobriety? I was thinking that keeping busy with school would keep me out of trouble, but it really hasn't affected my drinking habits. If anything it's added another trigger: the feeling of having finished my homework, or having done well on a test makes my AV go nuts! Also the stress of deadlines.

Anyway, going to bed soon tonight. Up early tomorrow and would really like to at least try to get some sleep.

Thanks, everyone!

Briar

Maybe taking classes isn't the best way to keep yourself out of trouble. Maybe the time you put into classes would be better spent doing some recovery work like meetings, books, spending time on here. You may even be able to find classes on recovery if that's the format you prefer. Seems like maybe distraction isn't the best tool for you.

Soberwolf

Good advice on this thread

Kris47

Go with your gut instincts but NOT your av.

Congrats on getting your degree! Congrats on being sober!

A break from class might be a good idea. You can always sign up for one even in a month again if you feel they help.The most important thing right now is to concentrate on your recovery. You don't need the feelings of anxiety, frustration or more fear in your life right now. Why not find some tools like meditation, prayer, meetings, to help you right now. Maybe talk to your college counselor for some additional insight. Good luck!