Kochanie

What the hell! I know before I said that I had no friends but this is taking the biscuit!!!!!! Just been on a social media site and my "friend" asked what i was up to. when I told her I was kicking the drinking and whatnot she ignored me and logged off! Soi much for having mt back eh? what an absolute cow! Just gies to show that you can only rely on yourself!

Sorry for the bitching but you get it, right?

ScottFromWI

I'd recommend skipping the social media sites for a while. It's mostly just irreleveant gossip anyway. I shut down my facebook account about 3 years ago and I don't miss it in the least.

SoberLeigh

Yes, what Scott said.

I, too, shut down my Facebook account about 5 years ago and never missed it.

Hang with us, Kachanie. SR is solidly in your corner.

Soberwolf

Sorry to hear that Kochanie just know that you have real friends here bud

you can drop a pm anytime friend

Dont worry about it her loss

GracieLou

I slowly removed people that did not fit into my world and I didn't feel bad about it because I didn't fit into theirs anymore either.

Just about all the people I am friends with on FB now are sober.

You can remove them, block them or restrict them. It is up to you what you are going to do and where you are going in your life. Do not let the judgments of others dictate your life or your recovery. Let go and move on.

andyroo72

That is super lame. The good thing is that you discovered what a total ass hat she was before you put any more energy into her. Take care :=]

Thepatman

I did exact the same 2 months ago. I realized most people I had on there couldn't care less if I crocked or not. LOL! I don't miss it whatsoever.

Frixion

Well if someone is treating you like that for getting healthy chances are they are not healthy individuals themselves. Personally I'm only on day 4 of my sobriety, but I've been uninterested in facebook - mostly because now I am working really hard on changing my life, so when people on fb are posting about their pumpkin latte it's soo boring! I would rather talk to people on here, ppl in my AA meeting, and my loved ones. I am okay with everyone else disappearing, I actually expect it. So basically all I'm saying is that people like this aren't worth your time, and frankly personalities like hers gets pretty old quick.

Anna

I think that, as you recover, you will replace people like her with true friends who support you in your life.

awuh1

I don't think that means you cannot rely on anyone, but I would not count on her, at least right now. Odds are that either she, or someone she is close to has a drinking problem.

In the end you might be able to help her.

Kochanie

Thankyou guys, everyone! It's difficult because I've known her for 20 years and we've been through so much together. She also like me has a problem. I think with my wanting to get sober she feels a little bit jealous and let down by here drinking buddy. Well tough! I need this!
I use facebook to speak with family across the world. So deleting it is a push. May go through my 600plus "friends" and delete everyone.
Your worlds are so king and helpful. Hope you are all feeli9ng good today. Cause I sure am now. x

DoPerdition

Thank you for this post. I can't really delete my facebook since I have long distance family and friends who like to see pictures of the baby and updates and such. But I am going to go and clean up my friends list right now to remove any toxic people or old drinking buddies.

Soberwolf

Glad to hear your feeling better

Kochanie

Think it's the way forward, plus the pictures of everyone out at the clubs or staying in is hard to see, while I'm sitting here alone with my water. Lets all just stick together.

Dee74

I lost a lot of drinking buddies and gained a lot of true friends Kochanie.

who knows what was going on with your friend today tho - after 20 years, you'll probably want to talk to her before you cut the cord?

D

Kochanie

I can't talk to her casue she never listens. She's not the one I'm finding the hardest to let go of. I have this friend who is bad for me, we've been thorugh alot together and I care for her and her daughter. She's been in and out my life for about 3 years although I knew her growing up he never got really close until a few years ago. Our friendship is toxic. I saw her today. I havent seen her since before I got clean. I didn't know what to do. The truth is I wanted to throw my arms around her and tell her I was sorry for not being in touch. But instead, I kept my cool crossed the road and said hi to her. I miss her. She has asked me to go to her house tomorrow. I wont be going. Although I really want to spend time with her. She says she has changed. but then again she always says that. She's irresponsable (sorry its taken me 5 mins to work out how to spell that, still wrong I know) She cheats on her boyfriend all the time. She doesn't put her beautiful baby first and i worry about her all the time. I hate that I can't be there for her. B ut its not healthy. I don't like who I turn into when I'm around her. Its like the last 3 years of my life haven't happened and I'm back to not giving a toss about anything but making sure I have a good time at the cost of everything I have worked so hard to have. Why is it that everything that makes you feel good are bad? Drugs, Alcohol and friendships. The 3 things that 5 years ago I would of given my right arm to have a lifelong supply of. Safe to say I'm having a **** day! Why can't she be normal? Why can't I be? Oh I've had enough! Too much overthinking.

strategery

Kochanie, I am sorry you are having such a rough day. *hugs*
The good thing you are realizing that this is a toxic relationship. You said yourself that you don't like who you become when you are around her. However, I can definitely understand that it is hard to let go of someone you care about even when they're not good for you.

SoberCAH

I have never had a FB account, but I know that I am on FB a fair amount (because my wife puts pictures of us on her page).

I think that in early sobriety FB could probably be a greater source of harm than benefit.

MIRecovery

Problem drinkers will never be impressed that you no longer drink. Many will become down right hostile.

We only have to change one thing, everything.

Kochanie

Thanks! Today is much better. Even though it is a Friday night! It's nice having someplace to go to vent this angry stuff.