earlyriser

As you can see from my signup date, I've been on (and off) this site since 2009. I'm on my 3rd or 4th good go around with sobriety, the only meaningful length of time before was 8 mos. I'm only at a little over two now, but it feels more solid than any other attempt.

I was a lurker through all that, rarely posting while sober, and staying many gigabytes away from this site while drinking. I'm not a prolific poster now, but I put myself out there a bit more, and definitely check in MUCH more frequently than during previous sober periods.

I feel like that has made all the difference for me this time. Engaging myself in these threads a bit more, and being here every day is such a reinforcement. I admire those that put their struggles out here - rather than just ducking away as I did when I was drinking. I wonder if I had had the nerve to post "Day 1 Again" if I might have saved myself a couple years or more of misery.

So if lurking is your style, as it is mine, try to lurk every day. And if you can involve yourself at your own comfort level, I think you might find a different level of commitment taking you over.

I'm a bit shy about relating all my drunken foibles yet, but it is enpowering to see you aren't alone, and to give a sincere sigh of relief when someone here has overcome temptation or found the professional help they need. If nothing else, it's harder to find an excuse to drink after that, that's for sure.

Earlyriser

Mikie9

I feel the same way. I find checking in here in the mornings before work is very helpful in keeping my mind focused on staying sober. Also while at work if I am stressing out and longing for the drunk, alone time I used to use to escape. The last time I made it through to the sober side of myself, I became comfortable and over confident... and I drank.

I think it is of utmost importance to keep in mind the reality of me drinking just one.

Soberwolf

Well on 2 months earyriser

you always have us whenever your ready friend

thenewguy

I joined in 2005, so I'm a *real* old fart.

Took me several tries, but now I'm sober for good (15 months). Lurkers rule!

Hendrix

It's threads like this that do it!

To log on and see your own thoughts , feelings and experiences reflected back at you from someone else is so inspiring. To know you're not alone and that others are watching your back gives untold strength.

SoberD

Totally agree with this. I was a lurker for awhile too, which definitely helped, but to participate, possibly help someone, and record my thoughts/feelings to revisit later, really helps to strengthen my resolve.

Dee74

congrats on 2 months earlyriser

D

Brauggi

I know that I lurk on here daily and have posted less than a handful of times so this really resonates with me. I first got serious about getting sober in July and have used this as a resource since then, but I do feel that I would be more accountable to myself and this community if I laid out my line of thinking at times and posted when I was having some sort of struggle.

I really attribute my relapse in the beginning of November to a lack of vigilance on my part as I felt that I had beaten this whole alcohol thing (famous last words I know). If I had been a little more active on here and posted about the fact that I was getting "stressed out" I may have avoided the loss of trust and shame that goes with the relapse. I now know that stress is just an excuse and I could have come up with a million others as I have over the years and if I had posted about this someone may have been able to see through the BS and talked some sense into me.

I have been dipping my toes in the water here for a while to gauge the temperature, so to say, and nothing is really going to permeanantly change for me unless I take the damn plunge!

Thepatman

Without becoming a posting maniac, I believe posting feelings, as well as giving a helping hand to the ones that struggle engages us in our recovery, gives a sense of accountability.

So welcome my lurker friends, post away!

Hevyn

Thanks for those thoughts early. Two months is wonderful - proud of you.

JanieJ

Well done on two months, Earlyriser.

Interesting to have a lurker's thread

Yeah, I don't start many threads but I feel more accountable just by "showing my face".

biminiblue

One thing I've really learned here is that we each come here in a different place and we each have to find a path that works for us.

I came here and signed up right away on the day I decided to stop drinking. I used forums to lose weight in 2007 and forums have been immensely helpful to me in so many ways. Sometimes I just have to say something and I don't really want feedback. I've found forums to be really good for getting things into words.

When I write something to someone else, I'm talking to myself, too.

I'm glad you joined the talkie side

Andante

Well, if this is a social coming-out party for the Introverted Lurkers Club (now there's an oxymoron), I guess I'll peep out from my burrow and say hello!

I don't post much for a variety of reasons, but I visit SR every day, and it's been a big part of my recovery toolkit. I wouldn't be sober for 1-3/4 years without it.

Just to say that it's totally OK to be a lurker. As Susan Cain described in the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, being an introvert isn't "sick," and it can be a mistake to try to force quiet people in recovery into being social butterflies (whether in real life or online) just because conventional perception holds that they should. As they say, "To Thine Own Self Be True."

RainyDayWoman1

What a great post and count me amoung the mostly lurking! Grear job on the 2 months earlyriser! I have 21 days today, partly due to this wonderful forum

jerri11

I'm a Lurking Early Bird (CST) as well, so, thank you for you post.

Eighteen days into sobriety, and parts of my brain are waking up that have been dormant for years. Strange thoughts and memories come calling in the early morning hours and I find myself awake, typing frantically trying to capture them on paper. Some might be post-able at some point, somewhere. Others not so much. Some I can share with family and friends. Others. Hell No!

I haven't slept much tonight. It's the first night since I quit drinking where I haven't slept. I just feel all rattle-ish inside, like I've got a screw loose. If I could find the darn thing and tighten it, I might be able to get back to to sleep.

Also, I don't know why exactly, but the whole "Chat" thing freaks me out a bit. I'm good with one-on-one, face to face, in the same room conversations. But groups? Groups at a distance? Kinda scary.

I did find a counselor, finally. A grandmotherly woman with an open mind. Practical. I think we'll get on OK. So there's that at least.

And lurking here.

And writing strange poetry and essays that may never see the light of day.

My tea is cold. I think I'll go get another cup, and then go rummaging around in my head some more. Who knows what I might find. Or maybe I'll go take a nap.

Ruby2

Thank you for this thread. I've learned a lot from this forum just by reading and it's helped me. And I do post though I don't often start my own thread. People do what they are comfortable with at their own speed. Just knowing I'm not alone is invaluable.

What Jerri said resonates. Tightening down that rattling screw in my head. Rummaging around in my head. Sometimes reading on here leads me to the rattling screw that needs attention. So even if I don't post, reading helps.

Thanks!