So Angry - looking for excuses to drink!
Recognising my AV
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
So Angry - looking for excuses to drink!
Well it's day 18 sober today and I left for work full of joy and pleased with myself - making plans for the weekend - looking forward to my 3rd sober weekend in a row and how I was really going to use the time well....
....then I allowed myself to react to some ******** at work - he wasn't even there so he didn't even realise I was mad so it was wasted energy really.
I had an hour's drive home and stewed over it and instead of telling my AV to go and do one I listened to it and even believed for a while - some of what it said seemed true - some of the pubs lit up on my way home DID look inviting . At one time I even bargained with myself that if I got home and had a bit of backchat from one of my teenage kids then, yeah, I was going to have a drink. I was angry that it's Friday night and I was not allowing myself to unwind with a couple of cold ones - where's the justice? What sort of a life is this? I've done so well this far - maybe I should just drink at weekends until after Christmas then stop completely as a New Year's resolution - after all, I've proved I can do it - I've got form now, 18 days!
Only once I got home and I realised that I was disappointed that my kids were on good form and there was no teenage angst did I twig that what a manipulative ba*****d my AV can be.
It all stemmed from allowing myself to get angry though - I was probably justified but it could have gone horribly wrong.
After a cold pint of lemonade and logging on here I no longer want a drink but an hour ago - it was very different story!
I hope the intensity of this sort of madness diminishes with time......
....then I allowed myself to react to some ******** at work - he wasn't even there so he didn't even realise I was mad so it was wasted energy really.
I had an hour's drive home and stewed over it and instead of telling my AV to go and do one I listened to it and even believed for a while - some of what it said seemed true - some of the pubs lit up on my way home DID look inviting . At one time I even bargained with myself that if I got home and had a bit of backchat from one of my teenage kids then, yeah, I was going to have a drink. I was angry that it's Friday night and I was not allowing myself to unwind with a couple of cold ones - where's the justice? What sort of a life is this? I've done so well this far - maybe I should just drink at weekends until after Christmas then stop completely as a New Year's resolution - after all, I've proved I can do it - I've got form now, 18 days!
Only once I got home and I realised that I was disappointed that my kids were on good form and there was no teenage angst did I twig that what a manipulative ba*****d my AV can be.
It all stemmed from allowing myself to get angry though - I was probably justified but it could have gone horribly wrong.
After a cold pint of lemonade and logging on here I no longer want a drink but an hour ago - it was very different story!
I hope the intensity of this sort of madness diminishes with time......
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Sorry Hendrix glad you didnt drink hang on in there
when you said you reacted i want to suggest a book you read its called the chimp paradox by steve peters
trust me ive just read this book recently you will relate and love this book
when you said you reacted i want to suggest a book you read its called the chimp paradox by steve peters
trust me ive just read this book recently you will relate and love this book
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
Waves of emotion. We need to learn to ride em out.
I totally get the urge of wanting to drink...Then 1 hour later it's a TOTAL different story/view.
I'm 50 days sober...And the past couple of days have been like that for me. That's after i had a couple of weeks where i didn't think about drinking at ALL!
Recognize them for what they are. Don't ACT on the impulse.
Talk to friends/SR if you feel like you are going to ACT on it.
I totally get the urge of wanting to drink...Then 1 hour later it's a TOTAL different story/view.
I'm 50 days sober...And the past couple of days have been like that for me. That's after i had a couple of weeks where i didn't think about drinking at ALL!
Recognize them for what they are. Don't ACT on the impulse.
Talk to friends/SR if you feel like you are going to ACT on it.
Recognising my AV
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
Originally Posted by soberwolf 
Sorry Hendrix glad you didnt drink hang on in there
when you said you reacted i want to suggest a book you read its called the chimp paradox by steve peters
trust me ive just read this book recently you will relate and love this book
when you said you reacted i want to suggest a book you read its called the chimp paradox by steve peters
trust me ive just read this book recently you will relate and love this book
I reckon there's a lot in it - I'm not normally angry, I wonder if booze used to keep my chimp asleep
I did like the bit in it about reprogramming your computer with thoughts like
'life isn't fair'
'everything that happens comes and goes'
'it's the way you deal with thing not what happens that gives you peace of mind'
'disappointments need to be put into perspective'
'every day is precious'
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