StellaPolaris

Already on day 12, I've found that keeping busy really helps. Week 1 was sweating, shaking, regretting, week 2 has been all about reading and creating new habits. I joined a gym, logging my 4th day there today. (Funny observation: I do 50 minutes on the treadmill at a brisque pace every day, sweating like crazy, burning off 300 kcals. That's 1.5 beers I like to think I've atoned for. I have a lot of hours to go.)

Just watched this short animation. It really resonated with me. Liked the comments section too.

I sleep 8-9 hours every night now. I forgave myself early on for all the stupid s**t I've done, and came clean to a couple of people I really trust. I feel like a new person, and really can't associate with the old, drunk me on any level.

At work I have been able to participate (as opposed to just showing up), which has earned me some really great feedback. My self-esteem is improving and I try to stay positive, always planning activities a few days ahead. It's far too early for me to spend too many hours home alone.

I was going to see Dumb and Dumber 2 with a friend tonight, but she's not answering my messages. I have decided to bring myself on a movie date instead. I've finally started laughing from my belly again, can't remember the last time I did that. Will revel in it and enjoy my own company.

This weekend I'll be alone. Will go to the gym, do some knitting (which I haven't been able to do for a long time because my hands were always too clammy), cook my favourite meals and try to socialize with this wonderful group of people I've done some volunteer work with earlier.

At this moment I feel like I'm free, like I escaped something rather than gave something up. There are so many things I would rather do than sit at home waiting to pass out for the night.

Fly N Buy

Sounds like you're off to a great start!!! Good for you!!
Love the animation, so true

Remember - Easy does it

FlyN

tambdy

Well done, i am at the early stages like yourself but it is amazing how much more we get done when not drinking.

As you say not just turning up to work, actually laughing and meaning it and not fobbing people off to go and have a drink.

Keep up the good work, there will be bumps in the road just keep going

StellaPolaris

This may sound strange, but I LOVE the fact that I have given my self a diagnosis... It's such a relief to know that I'm an alcoholic, now I know what I need to do. Not drink.

Many years ago my son was diagnosed with severe ADD, and I had the same feeling. After years of wondering what was wrong I finally had a label, I could educate myself (and him) and spend my energy dealing with it correctly instead of the continuous trial/error of the previous years.

luvmygirls

Yay, Stella! I love the video and this post. It sounds like you're doing great.

StellaPolaris

Don't know if anyone here read "Dr Sleep" by Stephen King..? The sequel to "The Shining"? Well, Danny locks up the old lady from The Overlook in a mental lockbox. Knowing Stephen King has had his struggles with alcohol I adopted this for my annoying AV.

JanieJ

You're sounding really positive, Stella.

Yeah, I know that feeling of being free, it's great isn't it ? Acceptance of just not drinking, I find that much easier than the constant struggle to moderate.

Good for you girl-what are you knitting ? I'm a knitter too x

StellaPolaris

Hi Janie.

While knitting drunk I was mostly just able to knit really simple afghans (cast on 400 st on a circular, knit rounds until the tube long enough, tieing on new skeins as you finish the last one). Ready for more intricate stuff now, back to lace and aran patterns. Never tought I'd be writing about knitting here, bit it's my greatest obsession really.