Ali123

I've been on here before when trying to sort out my alcohol problems, which even writing this has made made me start crying! Can't imagine living without alcohol because I'm not a normal human being who gets on with others naturally, I'm one of those very awkward people and I just hate it, I need a drink in me to talk to anyone. So I guess I have to accept just being unsociable and healthy? I hate being me

Anna

Ali, Welcome back!

I know it's hard to face a life without benefit of alcohol to get through social situations, but it can be done. I have accepted that I am not comfortable in large crowds. In small groups or with people I know, I'm fine, but I don't like large groups of people that I don't really know. And, that's okay. I don't think you need to write yourself off as unsociable, but maybe you need to shift your perspective a bit.

gracetuesday

Ali, welcome.. I don't think things are as hopeless as you imply..... I think it is totally possible to have a life being SOBER & SOCIABLE..... It may just take some practice.... I think AA is a great place to start.. There you will meet other people who feel just like you do - who are interested in learning how to live SOBER and HAPPY....

Hang in there!

hunterismia

Go see a therapist. I have the same problem as you and it has been helping me tremendously!

Lusher

Hey Ali123- You're not alone in these feelings.

I can appreciate what you're feeling. I feel a bit awkward being at any type of a social gathering now that I'm sober. It almost feels as if my exterior shell has melted a bit, and I feel less confident. I guess I feel 'like a fish out of water.'

I will say that it seems to be improving with time. I think we just need to let our minds adjust from being buzzed while socializing, to being sober, and hopefully we'll adjust to the point that things feel normal again.

Due to how much I've wasted due to booze, I do place a higher priority with staying sober, so if I miss out on stuff or feel awkward, so be it.

Try and stay strong-

Lusher

Ali123

Hunterisimia, are you from the UK??what kind if therapist do you see, this sort of thing is not it world,but am very open to anything that might help, thank you x

Soberwolf

Welcome back Ali

JanieJ

Hi , I'm in S England too.

I'm sure you are a perfectly normal person, Ali. Lots of people feel awkward in social situations.

You know how us Brits talk about the weather ? We do that when we can think of nothing else to say -when we feel awkward.

I have a friend who is on the autistic spectrum, and she finds most social situations very difficult. What she does is have a script - some topics of conversation that she can roll out, some answers that she can give, stuff like that. Sounds silly but it really helps her to cope.

Would some thing like that help you?

Good to meet you, hope you stay around.

Ali123

Thanks Lusher x

And thanks janiej, some kind if script would def help to start in the first place, I just wish I didn't need it, I'd love so much to be so confident that I didn't worry all the time about what I had said

least

I learned a technique in Speech class years ago. When giving speeches (or any stressful encounter with lots of people) I imagine them all in their underwear. It breaks the tension.

I used to be painfully shy when I was young but I outgrew it and now am just fine. That said, I like being alone too, as I have my critters to keep me company.

luvmygirls

I sometimes become anxious in social situations, too. People who hear me say this, but don't know me well always seem surprised, but it's definitely true.

One thing that helps me is being very curious about other people. My aunt said something to me once, like "we can't have all talkers in this world...we need some listeners!" I like to think of myself as a good audience for all the talkers.

LBrain

Is it possible you never really tried be sociable without alcohol? Really.
Having used it for so long, sometimes we forget - or never knew - how to live without it.
Give it a try, it ain't so bad. It just takes some getting used to. Practice makes perfect

Briar

I know exactly how you feel. But it comes down to whether being appealing to others is worth sacrificing your health and happiness. I'm sure you have or can find friends who appreciate and accept who you are sober.

There's also the fake it 'til you make it strategy. Pretend you are comfortable in social situations, and after a while you really will be. It does sound hard, but it works well for some people.

Dee74

Welcome back Ali

to be honest I'm not sure how many of those 'normal human beings who get on with others naturally' exist.

Some people do have the knack. I do not....but I'm learning to be ok with that.

I love and accept others, special people in my life, and they love and accept me.

I'm not good with big crowds. I stutter when speaking and I'm not garrulous or a raconteur...but I have other gifts and am very blessed.

I've learned it's ok to me be. I hope you'll come to find it's ok for you too Ali

D

risingup

Hi ALi......perhaps you have a bit of social anxiety? Talk to your doctor......there are many options if that is the case. Many people develop a dependence on alcohol because of using it to feel comfortable in social situations......I was one of them!

EndGameNYC

If being quiet, socially awkward and introverted were among the many superficially prized attributes in Western cultures, then we wouldn't perceive being so as a problem. None of these are pathological states or conditions.

I rarely experience difficulty in most social settings or when speaking to a group of people, but that was not always the case. When I'm at a social event, it's often the person who seems uncomfortable with crowds and the noise of forced chatter that comes with them who is the most interesting person in the room to me.

hunterismia

Hey! I'm from the USA.

I see a psychotherapist. They are best for that sort of thing. IMHO