Eviction letter was a wake up call

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11-13-2014, 09:04 AM

# 21 (permalink)

JT0626

I will NOT drink to that!

Join Date: Nov 2014

Location: Baltimore MD USA

Posts: 634

Welcome, DarkLife! Please continue posting & coming back. I have been where you are, I almost lost my house last year. That was a very sobering moment for me. I too felt like never getting out of bed. If it wasn't for my 3 year old daughter, I would've given up on everything. My daughter was my saving grace.

11-13-2014, 09:15 AM

# 22 (permalink)

JanieJ

Life is an unlikely miracle.

Join Date: Oct 2014

Location: England

Posts: 1,859

Welcome Darklife

To echo Dee, I think you sound depressed too.

you will find nothing but support here.

11-13-2014, 11:16 AM

# 23 (permalink)

DarkLife

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Nov 2014

Posts: 47

yes i am powerless over how i feel.

hopeless. i believe its not fear that stops me from going to a meeting, but hopelessness

i will come back to this thread after i allow for some sanity
thankyou

11-13-2014, 11:33 AM

# 24 (permalink)

ghostdad

Member

Join Date: Aug 2014

Location: East Coast USA

Posts: 167

Hang in there Darklife. Once you embrace sobriety the feelings and emotions will come back. It takes time but they do come back. Look at how long you numbed yourself to reality. I know I did for 30+ years. I am sober for the longest period of my life - 4 months. I feel little aches and pains that I didn't notice before but I am not annoyed because they are a reminder that I am alive.

11-13-2014, 12:55 PM

# 25 (permalink)

instant

Join Date: May 2011

Location: Australia

Posts: 5,711

Darklife glad you are at SR, welcome

11-13-2014, 02:03 PM

# 26 (permalink)

DarkLife

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Nov 2014

Posts: 47

So,after I went in work on the wrong day(thats how disorganized I have become)I am thinking going to a meeting will be pointless.
it wont work...
i will never...
they will not be able...
someone might just...
and on and on it goes!

now I am left with a final thought...

Why not just believe 12 steps will work?
because i do not trust myself. thats why.
I am projecting a future that hasn't even happened yet, and creating self sabotage.
All my life i have lived without self trust, thinking i know best, and not willing to trust others and a spiritual working system. let alone giving anything a chance.
but i don't know best, because otherwize i would be fullfilled already!

silly me.

i feel better already with knowing my thoughts are creating a reality that are leaving me stuck