dcrr

So today went ok for awhile- Day 4 and facing those I hurt when I had my last binge. All went well until later in the day - when I began to hear the remarks and felt the tension between myself and others even when no words were spoken. Others who were not present during my idiocy are looking down at me. * sigh I know it's my own fault after all. Just needed to get this off my chest. Just need to push through and follow my goal. Thanks for reading.

SoberLeigh

Not sure what "idiocy" refers to, dcrr, but there's nothing like new behaviors to make people forget about old behaviors.

Learn from the past but try not to let it define your future; remember, the future is a blank slate; the story is your's to write.

Alynn

Those are tense and akward moments but they will not last and more time that passes the easier it will get. You will be a different person. They will know you are different by your actions. hang in there

courage2

dcrr, some of your perceptions of tension or people looking down at you is likely just that -- your perceptions. One of the most common alcoholic traits is to look at ourselves as the center not only of our own but of everyone else's universe!

Whether your perceptions are correct or not, it's how you behave going forward that's all that matters. Hold your head up, act right, and above all don't drink. Someday this will just be a story you tell.

Mark1014

dcrr, those are the kind of raw moments that it's hard to put a positive spin on and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. I notice that your resolve seems strong and day after day you will distance yourself from that negative episode. Your new sobriety will speak for itself with increasing clarity as time goes on. Stay strong. I am rooting for you.

Nowsthetime

Hello: I still live with the time that I went to an American football game with my fiend and her coworkers and blacked out. She said I didn't do anything "stupid" but who knows. It was a disaster when I got home... I get so embarrased every time I see her coworkers but it helps remind me why never drink again. It will get better with time now focus on your goal...

tommyinphilly

Dcrr, I understand how you feel. This place is the perfect place to vent. I would try to give advice but the previous posts nailed it.

least

Try to just focus on getting sober. Being sober. Try not to worry about stuff in the past. Do the next right thing and eventually people will know you as the dependable guy, not the drunk. It takes time to earn back trust.

Mountainmanbob

its best in early recovery not to make a bunch of promises to one's around us. show them by actions. number one not drinking. number two and three being kind and considerate and not to forget of most importance sobriety and showing love.

there will be plenty of time to make amends later.

MM

dcrr

Thanks for hearing me out and for the comments. Tomorrow is day 5 and its going to be great!

Hope4Life

As others have said... all you can do is be the best person you can be and prove yourself through your actions.

Just do the next right thing.

Stevie1

dcrr, you sound so strong.
And I agree with what everyone else said. Behave yourself, LOL! It will be fine.