Sinderos

I'm tired physically and mentally. Since I started back drinking, I haven't really been sleeping. I'm so tired of the anxiety I have about drinking. I know it's a huge problem and I feel so out of control. Life in general feels so out of control. I am scared, tired and anxious.

The only person who knows about my drinking problem thinks I quit last week. (Only person I can talk to.) When I saw him yesterday he asked if I was able to lose the weight just by stopping drinking. I didn't say I haven't quit. I've always been honest with him. Now I feel bad about that.

I will be strong today and will not drink.

Dee74

Drinking will never help you feel less anxious, less tired, more in control, or less nervous and worried Sinderos.

Day one sounds like a great idea. Get back to where you want to be

D

soberclover

Dee is so right. My anxiety issues were all related to my drinking. Now that I've been sober, I don't experience the panic attacks that I always did and I'm finally able to sleep. I've learned from my personal experience as well as from the research I've done in my clinical job that the withdrawal from a substance/drug is often the opposite feeling we have when using it. I believed alcohol "calmed me down". When I wasn't drinking, I felt anxious as alcohol was detoxing from my system. Glad you are giving sobriety a chance

Sinderos

I can honestly say I've never felt this much anxiety or felt so alone. I know the first few days are going to be hard but it will be worth it. I looked up AA and will try to attend a meeting tonight. I need help because I obviously haven't been successful doing this by myself.

Soberwolf

Sinderos i would definatly try an Aa mtn to help your recovery

hang in there you can do it

ScottFromWI

I hope you go to a meeting today Sinderos. My anxiety got worse and worse towards the end of my drinking too, but getting sober cured much of that.

Sinderos

Thanks Scott. I'm trying to think hard of who I know that I can trust to call. I think I would feel better to get everything off my chest. I just want someone who won't be judgmental and keep it confidential. My anxiety is horrible today and it's not even 6:30 am where I am.

Ruby2

My anxiety at the end was so crippling I could barely walk. Now I almost never have even the mildest twinge of it and if I do it's because I've had too much coffee and not eaten enough. Sleeping is far better.

I'd say go to the AA meeting. The chances are high that you will find understanding people there. Come here and post. Maybe reach out to the friend if that's a possibility. Explain that you are finding this harder than you thought and need someone to talk to.

Hang in there.

airwick

I have not relapsed, yet if I was faced with that situation I'm not sure I would feel guilt towards not telling people/friends.

I more or less would feel as if I betrayed myself. I did something I know has/hurt me. I've let myself down. NOT SAYING IN ANYWAY I can not pick myself back up

Every second, minute, hour, day, year and so forth is a new beginning for all of us

IOAA2

Hi.
I found out the hard way, years ago and it stands true today, that being honest with MYSELF about my drinking was the #1 think I needed to do. Next was to accept that I could no longer drink in safety.
After that came many meetings where I started to learn all that I didn’t know by caring people who practiced what they had learned.
This getting and STAYING sober is work and really needs to be our #1 priority. Many good things result from us not drinking one day at a time continuously.

BE WELL

ScottFromWI

Call the local AA hotline. Call or a see your doctor. If you have a local drug/alcohol public treatment center (almost every city does) call them. All are completely anonymous and have seen alchoholism many, many times. Nothing you can say will be a surprise. And all of them will be supportive of your decision, just like we are here on SR

least

At the end of my drinking days I was sick of being depressed, anxious, tired, sick, and hating myself.

Since I got sober my anxiety is much less, the depression is manageable with my meds, and I have more energy. And I don't wake up hating myself!

Sinderos

Thank you all so much for your encouragement. After getting up and to work I feel less anxiety. I am not going to drink today. I'm not going to be able to go to AA tonight because I have to pick up my dog (unexpectedly) from the vet.

However I did text with a friend this morning which also helped. I've already made some plans this week to get out and do stuff. That will help me reconnect with the real world. I'm going to be diligent this time to make sure I don't relapse again.

It also seems the ones of you who are most active on here are the ones who have been most successful. I'm going to do more SR and still may do AA or something of that nature.

Anna

Sinderos, I felt absolutely bone-weary exhausted at the end of my drinking days.

Once I stopped drinking, that began to change quite quickly.

It sounds like you have some good plans in the works and that will really help you be successful.