Mrrryah1

Anyone else experience this?

Every time I quit drinking I turn to food to make me feel better. I've heard people say "Oh be easy on yourself - you're probably malnourished - it's normal to gain a bit of weight in early recovery, etc."

Only thing is, I have severe body image issues and won't let myself gain weight. So I just start binging and purging really bad. I start eating with the intention of having "just one" or whatever, and then I can't stop and it gets grotesque the amount I've consumed and so I decide I need to get rid of it.

This is not something I usually do when I am drinking/using. I have my fix/solution to my anxiety, depression, feelings, etc. - and it's alcohol - not food, so I don't go on these massive food benders.

I mean, I guess what I'm doing is better than if I was still drinking. But it's frustrating because I don't want to just switch addictions, I want to get better completely.

If anyone has had this issue too - did it get better with time? Did you find a way to make it go away?

biminiblue

Binge/purge cycles are obsessive/compulsive just like substance abuse.

Have you tried therapy or medication?

Mrrryah1

I'm going to see a counsellor in a week and a half, so I will tell him what is going on.

biminiblue

There are actually a number of meds that are good for OCD. Maybe see a doctor - at least in the US therapists and counselors can't prescribe. I know you have some big struggles, it could be the relief you need right now.

Soberwolf

Dont panic just try to see a doc explain what is happening

were all for you good luck & big hugs

ArtFriend

Alcohol nor food is the answer to the underlying issues. And "using" food to stuff your feelings or alcohol to mask your feelings is not going to fix anything. Going to the counselor hopefully help you deal with your body image problems in a healthy way. Good luck!

Ythill

Be easy on yourself and honest with your therapist. In addition to being an alcoholic, I've struggled for years with an eating disorder, all the more embarrassing to admit because I'm a man. I would recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and alcohol abuse as they often go hand in hand - all pertains to anxiety about lack of control...at least in my experience.

JanieJ

Be kind to yourself, Mrrryah ((())) You're going through a lot. As others have said, perhaps medication and/or counselling would help.

Dee74

I tried a lot of things to fill the void within me mrrryah - I've had far better results working to heal the void

I hope the counselling will help.

D

strategery

Mrrryah, I've been through an ED, but I was in the reverse direction of you. I had generally overcome my ED, but then moved into alcohol since it relieved a lot of the anxiety I had. It took me a couple of years of counseling and working with a nutritionist to get through the initial parts of it and I will admit it was not easy.
I wish you the best and hope you get the help you need!

Summerfall

I was doing good with not drinking til I quit smoking 20 months ago... As soon as I quit I started bingeing on alcohol and food. In thst time I've gained 30 pounds. Before I started drinking like 10 years ago I also had a eating disorder which was the reason I never used to drink in my early 20's. As soon as I get try to subdue one addiction I trade it in for another. I totally get where u are coming from. I'm a daily drinker now trying to get the courage to quit again.

Kevin78

I am going through that stage now Mrrryah. Even when I'm not hungry. I'm thinking its's a comfort thing with me.

sickofthiscrap

I have a very addictive and obsessive personality. I had an ED in my teens and permanently messed up my guts as a result. So it's a serious business - get help.

My ED ended when I started on drink and drugs. Since I've quit drinking this time I think there is some return of ED behaviour, just in the sense of restricting, but I attribute that mostly to my stomach issues, which frankly make eating a lot very painful.

Jupiters

Counselling (with the right counsellor) has made a huge difference. I've struggled as well with body image since early teens (modelling at a young age didn't help the matter whatsoever, in fact, I'm convinced it made it worse) ...but I can definitely relate to this. I really hope that you mesh with the counsellor b/c it can help if you allow it too.
I had gone to counselling before, but until I met the right one, I didn't REALLY get anything out of it.
Good luck M!

newhope01

A little late to this thread myrrah but I wanted to say that I have suffered from an eating disorder since I was a little girl that spiraled out of control when I was in college.

Once I graduated, I quickly became an alcoholic and now that Im struggling with sobriety my eating disorder has come back in full force. It has left me wondering what I am trying to compensate for as obviously there are some unresolved issues I need work out.

But I know how you feel trying to cope with a distorted body image. I was looking at some recent photos of myself and had complete melt down because I couldn't stand how I looked and how I could let that happen. I keep blaming the booze but I think there is a lot more going on underneath the surface.

Idk if I will ever be able to beat my eating disorder as tbh I am not sure that I genuinely would like too. However, I think it would be wise to seek therapy which is something I have been considering doing myself.