So Mad at Myself....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: houston texas
Posts: 8
So Mad at Myself....
I've basically been a lurker, but quit on my own for a week ( last week ) Slipped up the other night, then had some beers tonight just cuz it was here.....UGH! We had bought some brewskis for friends coming to town (there were leftovers), I thought I could be strong but I was wrong and learned a lesson. I'm a mother of 3, and motherhood is a very thankless job, but I of course LOVE being a mom. I am from a long line of alcoholics and never thought it would get its hooks in me.....NEVER in a million years. It got me, I admit it, and am working at it. I've learned a lot from all you guys...you're awesome and makes me realize I'm not alone by a long stretch. I enjoyed the week of feeling great, slimming down fast (man it comes off so fast when not adding all those extra calories, not to mention it hoses your metabolism...I've abstained in the past and lost 30 lbs within 2-3 mths) Most of all though I enjoyed waking up not tired and feeling run down. I'm definately a functional alcoholic, can do all kinds of things during the day with my kids, then settle down for happy hour, but for ME and my family I've got to quit. I WASN'T BORN WITH A DRINK IN MY HAND so I've gotta accept that I don't need it anymore. Just venting.....saying thanks to those whose posts inspire me. I'll be starting over again tomorrow and WILL remain strong. I have to. Thanks for listening......I will do it!!!! 
Fraidy ETA:I dumped the rest of the cans
Fraidy ETA:I dumped the rest of the cans
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
welcome fraidy! im dot and im an addict. ive found that the term functional addict can be stretched to the limit, LOL. depends on how you would like to function. people who are vegetables "function". hang in there, and keep rockin.
hugs,
dot
hugs,
dot
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: houston texas
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by dotcom
welcome fraidy! im dot and im an addict. ive found that the term functional addict can be stretched to the limit, LOL. depends on how you would like to function. people who are vegetables "function". hang in there, and keep rockin.
hugs,
dot
hugs,
dot
Yeah, I understand what you mean about veggies functioning..although I meant it as in I'm up and about still continuing my daily grind stuff and not hungover laying around Today is a new day though and I feel good about it. I'm going to workout today and find something else to do around 5-6 o'clock later. Good luck to all ya'll who are making such great progress. I hope to have some weeks/months/years under my belt soon. Take care.Fraidy
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hi Fraidy
JC here - alcoholic. Well done on your decision. Keep posting away, great support here, helps me all the time.
5 to 6pm eh.? I call that the "witching" hour. Different routine for me is very important. You'll do it, get today right and the days soon add up.
much love
JC
JC here - alcoholic. Well done on your decision. Keep posting away, great support here, helps me all the time.
5 to 6pm eh.? I call that the "witching" hour. Different routine for me is very important. You'll do it, get today right and the days soon add up.
much love
JC
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Under The Stars
Posts: 47
Fraidy,
Now you're talking! Mix your routine up a bit! I drank every evening, used to love to drink on an empty stomach, kicked the buzz into high gear once I started drinking! The first week of not drinking (for me) went pretty easy! I was so down that each day I woke up hangover free, guilt free was a victory! During the 2nd week it kind of hit me, hey, this is kind of boring, how long do I have to go without a drink?? Wham, the realization set in that I can't have another drink, ever!
I'm not gonna lie, I still struggle with that thought, but, I take it day to day! Instead, I'm learning to enjoy life again! I never realized how much I missed an Ice Cream Cone (never ate them, food killed my buzz), love going for daily bikerides with our son, etc.. All the simple things I gave up for the sake of drinking!
If you eat late, eat early, If you sit and relax and drink, go for a walk, bikeride, get out of the house, etc... Eventually the desire to drink WILL start to fade away! You just have to keep yourself busy and focus on not drinking for a while!
Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can! I started over so many times........
Glad you are here and keep posting!!!
You can PM me if you'd like!
Now you're talking! Mix your routine up a bit! I drank every evening, used to love to drink on an empty stomach, kicked the buzz into high gear once I started drinking! The first week of not drinking (for me) went pretty easy! I was so down that each day I woke up hangover free, guilt free was a victory! During the 2nd week it kind of hit me, hey, this is kind of boring, how long do I have to go without a drink?? Wham, the realization set in that I can't have another drink, ever!
I'm not gonna lie, I still struggle with that thought, but, I take it day to day! Instead, I'm learning to enjoy life again! I never realized how much I missed an Ice Cream Cone (never ate them, food killed my buzz), love going for daily bikerides with our son, etc.. All the simple things I gave up for the sake of drinking!
If you eat late, eat early, If you sit and relax and drink, go for a walk, bikeride, get out of the house, etc... Eventually the desire to drink WILL start to fade away! You just have to keep yourself busy and focus on not drinking for a while!
Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can! I started over so many times........
Glad you are here and keep posting!!!
You can PM me if you'd like!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hey Fraidy!! Glad you posted. What did you mean, some get more support than others? Help is available if you just ask!!
My name is Laura. I am an alkie/pothead with just over 5 months clean and sober. I can so relate to almost all of what you said. Alcoholism is a powerful disease, as I'm sure you know from your family history. I, too, considered myself a "functioning" alcoholic. I kept my job, kept food on the table, had a roof over our heads, etc. But I was absolutely miserable inside. Life was hell. I ended up resigning from my job to go to treatment. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the best thing I have ever done. (not saying in anyway that you should go to treatment) One thing I have learned is that I simply CANNOT do this alone. I need help. I need to know I am not alone. I go to AA and still have commitments to my treatment center (i.e. group and individual therapy.) I could not have made it even close to this far if I didn't have the support.
Hang in there and keep posting!!! Others will be along.
My prayers are with you....
My name is Laura. I am an alkie/pothead with just over 5 months clean and sober. I can so relate to almost all of what you said. Alcoholism is a powerful disease, as I'm sure you know from your family history. I, too, considered myself a "functioning" alcoholic. I kept my job, kept food on the table, had a roof over our heads, etc. But I was absolutely miserable inside. Life was hell. I ended up resigning from my job to go to treatment. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the best thing I have ever done. (not saying in anyway that you should go to treatment) One thing I have learned is that I simply CANNOT do this alone. I need help. I need to know I am not alone. I go to AA and still have commitments to my treatment center (i.e. group and individual therapy.) I could not have made it even close to this far if I didn't have the support.
Hang in there and keep posting!!! Others will be along.
My prayers are with you....
Gold Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: It's raining again!
Posts: 2,494
Good Morning and (((((((((((huggys)))))))))) we all onlly have 24 hours! I do know what you mean by fuctioning. The way how I look at it is that you can be good, but to be sober is to be better. We strive for progress not perfection when all is said and done. Hop on line during the witching hours or try a meeting or paint your nails. Got to do something different. Good luck on day one again!
Paused
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: cleveland OHIO
Posts: 16
I am so glad you have the guts to try all over again. Being sober is not easy but for me the benefits outway the hardships. Try to keep alcohol out of the house. Sober people, sober places help me to stay dry. If we have a party and there is alcohol we have a friend take home the leftovers.
Love Dini
Love Dini
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Fraidy, welcome to SR! I'm glad you decided to post, and have decided that it's time to give up the booze. I'm Rowan, and I'm an alcoholic. Coming up on 11 months
this time around. As you have seen, this site is an amazing source of support and encouragement. I go to AA regularly, and couldn't survive without it. Is it something you have considered? We can't do this alone. Keep coming back we need you here.
Love Rowan
this time around. As you have seen, this site is an amazing source of support and encouragement. I go to AA regularly, and couldn't survive without it. Is it something you have considered? We can't do this alone. Keep coming back we need you here.
Love Rowan
Paused
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 38
Hey, Fraidy 
! I stay home with my kid, too (and babysit two others).....it IS so a thankless job! I never, never knew before how tough (MENTALLY!) it was; I would hear SAHM's bitch and moan and I was like, "What the hell are YOU complaining about???? You get to stay HOME all day!" 
. LOL....now, when DH says things like this to ME (and he does all the time), I want to take my frying pan to his freaking head 
. Also, I am/was always real good about not letting my getting trashed the night before affecting me the next day....MENTALLY, yes; but physically, I function pretty good.
I, too, just slipped after a few weeks....all last week we were moving and I just kind of fell into the old pattern of drinking after a day of packing and hauling boxes around. But I'm just going to pick myself back up and try again....no sense in dwelling on the past. And I can honestly say it wasn't all that much fun, anyway (my "usual" pattern of drinking and smoking), compared to the GOOD I feel when I'm NOT drinking.
My real danger time is the evening, too; like Suckerpunched, I like to drink on an empty stomach to get more of a buzz. Eating dinner early when I'm feeling an "urge" helps me....I NEVER want to drink when I'm stuffed. And then I tell myself, since I'm saving ALL these beer calories, I get to have ice cream later. But I need to find some other things to do besides eat, lol. I'm hoping to start developing some good habits, now that the stress of moving ios out of the way; playing more with my daughter, baking more, games with DH, going to the park, drawing.....
! I stay home with my kid, too (and babysit two others).....it IS so a thankless job! I never, never knew before how tough (MENTALLY!) it was; I would hear SAHM's bitch and moan and I was like, "What the hell are YOU complaining about???? You get to stay HOME all day!" . LOL....now, when DH says things like this to ME (and he does all the time), I want to take my frying pan to his freaking head . Also, I am/was always real good about not letting my getting trashed the night before affecting me the next day....MENTALLY, yes; but physically, I function pretty good.I, too, just slipped after a few weeks....all last week we were moving and I just kind of fell into the old pattern of drinking after a day of packing and hauling boxes around. But I'm just going to pick myself back up and try again....no sense in dwelling on the past. And I can honestly say it wasn't all that much fun, anyway (my "usual" pattern of drinking and smoking), compared to the GOOD I feel when I'm NOT drinking.
My real danger time is the evening, too; like Suckerpunched, I like to drink on an empty stomach to get more of a buzz. Eating dinner early when I'm feeling an "urge" helps me....I NEVER want to drink when I'm stuffed. And then I tell myself, since I'm saving ALL these beer calories, I get to have ice cream later. But I need to find some other things to do besides eat, lol. I'm hoping to start developing some good habits, now that the stress of moving ios out of the way; playing more with my daughter, baking more, games with DH, going to the park, drawing.....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
Thanks for the reply....kinda weird how some get lots of support and others don't. I've been reading this forum for a while to rev up. Oh well....I'm capable of being pretty strong on my own thankfully Yeah, I understand what you mean about veggies functioning..although I meant it as in I'm up and about still continuing my daily grind stuff and not hungover laying around Today is a new day though and I feel good about it. I'm going to workout today and find something else to do around 5-6 o'clock later. Good luck to all ya'll who are making such great progress. I hope to have some weeks/months/years under my belt soon. Take care.
hugs,
dot
Old and in the Way
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: High and Dry
Posts: 789
Welcome Fraidy from another Houstonian. There seem to be a bunch of us around, for some reason, and many more from the Lone Star State. Couple of suggestions - the attached link is to a great search engine for Houston AA meetings.
http://www.aahouston.org/meetings/searchform.php
I've found the Memorial Park running trail to be one of my top five sobriety (and weight loss) tools as well. Three miles around the track in this heat and humidity snaps me to attention every time.
Best of luck, and keep in touch.
Joe
http://www.aahouston.org/meetings/searchform.php
I've found the Memorial Park running trail to be one of my top five sobriety (and weight loss) tools as well. Three miles around the track in this heat and humidity snaps me to attention every time.
Best of luck, and keep in touch.
Joe
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