Boyfriend addicted to cocaine
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1
Boyfriend addicted to cocaine
Hi, I'm new to this site so not sure if I am doing this right.
My boyfriend of 4 years is addicted to cocaine. I didn't quite realise just Hi, I'm new to this site so not sure if I am doing this right.
My boyfriend of 4 years is addicted to cocaine. I didn't quite realise just how bad it was until this weekend.
He started hanging round with a new circle of friends about 18months ago, maybe more. We have a 2 year old son together. I first found out he had taken it just after my sons first birthday...I found out he had done it at his party. I broke up with him instantly, after a few weeks I took him back and he swore blind he won't ever ever do it again...I believed him.
Anyway he carried on, working Monday-Friday, being the perfect dad and partner in the week. Come Friday night after work, he would go out for a 'few beers' with the lads...at first he would come home about 1/2am. Then it got later and later, till now he can go out Friday night and not come back till Sunday. We've broken up and got back together so so many times. We're just going round in circles. I love him so much, we really are good together when he doesn't see that crowd of ppl. But it's come to the point now, that even if he does stay home a weekend, or we go out for a drink as a couple...he has to call his friends to come...he will deny it, but I know it's so they can come bring cocaine. I didn't realise at first, but now I do and know the signs.
Anyway we went out last weekend for his dads birthday, he ended up ringing that crowd of ppl to come, which they did. Then he left me with his family and went off with them, he didn't come home till 8am the next day. When he did he started crying his heart outf begging me for help, I want to help him. He's never asked for help before, or admitted he has a problem. But after he slept it off, I've tried to talk about what he said when he was drunk/high and he like closes up n won't open up to me again. I don't know what to do, people say leave him but it's so hard. I just wish he would cut off this crowd of people and get back in touch with his old true friends. These guys aren't friends, they fuel his addiction and I can't bare thought of them round him.
Any ideas of what I can do to help him??
By the way I have never tried any drugs and never will.
My boyfriend of 4 years is addicted to cocaine. I didn't quite realise just Hi, I'm new to this site so not sure if I am doing this right.
My boyfriend of 4 years is addicted to cocaine. I didn't quite realise just how bad it was until this weekend.
He started hanging round with a new circle of friends about 18months ago, maybe more. We have a 2 year old son together. I first found out he had taken it just after my sons first birthday...I found out he had done it at his party. I broke up with him instantly, after a few weeks I took him back and he swore blind he won't ever ever do it again...I believed him.
Anyway he carried on, working Monday-Friday, being the perfect dad and partner in the week. Come Friday night after work, he would go out for a 'few beers' with the lads...at first he would come home about 1/2am. Then it got later and later, till now he can go out Friday night and not come back till Sunday. We've broken up and got back together so so many times. We're just going round in circles. I love him so much, we really are good together when he doesn't see that crowd of ppl. But it's come to the point now, that even if he does stay home a weekend, or we go out for a drink as a couple...he has to call his friends to come...he will deny it, but I know it's so they can come bring cocaine. I didn't realise at first, but now I do and know the signs.
Anyway we went out last weekend for his dads birthday, he ended up ringing that crowd of ppl to come, which they did. Then he left me with his family and went off with them, he didn't come home till 8am the next day. When he did he started crying his heart outf begging me for help, I want to help him. He's never asked for help before, or admitted he has a problem. But after he slept it off, I've tried to talk about what he said when he was drunk/high and he like closes up n won't open up to me again. I don't know what to do, people say leave him but it's so hard. I just wish he would cut off this crowd of people and get back in touch with his old true friends. These guys aren't friends, they fuel his addiction and I can't bare thought of them round him.
Any ideas of what I can do to help him??
By the way I have never tried any drugs and never will.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hi: I'm sorry that you are going through this but from my experience people do not change for their significant other or their children... They change when THEY are ready. Sometimes it takes people falling on their faces to make that desition. You have to d what is right for you and your child. Sometimes loved ones also enable. You think that you are helping him, or want to help him but he has to help himself. I know this is hard to hear but no use in sugar coating it. I hope that everything turn out for the best, for you and your son and also for him...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I was pretty hooked into coke for a few years too.... the only way I stopped was when I got personally sick of what it was doing to me.
And until I was ready to admit that it was a big problem, I kept at it.
Right through my divorce....
You need to take care of yourself and your child.
If he wants your 'help' - you need to set the boundaries for what that help means and what you expect and you need to be prepared to cut him loose immediately if any of that is violated.
And until I was ready to admit that it was a big problem, I kept at it.
Right through my divorce....
You need to take care of yourself and your child.
If he wants your 'help' - you need to set the boundaries for what that help means and what you expect and you need to be prepared to cut him loose immediately if any of that is violated.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
I hope that your boyfriend decides to seek support for his addiction.
For you, please check out our forum for Friends & Families where you will find lots of information and support:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
For you, please check out our forum for Friends & Families where you will find lots of information and support:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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