Sunsetred

I did 10 days sober, then as per usual told myself I could just av the odd one, which turned into me drinking 13 beers one Thursday night when my husband was in nights and blacking out in the sofa. I think I just made it to bed before he came in (thank god) so he didn't know. But now he's working out of town and I'm drinking more and more. I don't drink every night but when I do I can't stop until I've drunk everything I have in. Friday night was a bottle of wine and 6 beers, last night I only bought 1 bottle of wine, drunk it within about an hour then started getting anxious and maniac about needing more! I couldn't get more cos my daughter was in bed, but I actually considered leaving her alone in the house while I nipped out (I didn't do this). I can't believe I've got to this point that I'd even consider doing such a thing!

I do so well not drinking for 3-4 days then I get bored and lonely and it seems like a good idea! Any suggestions on what to do when I start to feel lonely/bored/anxious? I spend a lot of time alone as I don't have any family near by and am only just starting to make a few friends and my husbands working away a lot recently.

PurpleKnight

Alcohol for me was progressive, things were getting worse and worse until I finally said no more!!

For me being alone with my thoughts trying to cling on to Sobriety through sheer willpower never worked for long, the addictive part of my mind was too strong for simply trying to resist, I could convince myself of anything in isolation.

Support was the key to longer term results, something to get me outside of my own mind, a second opinion on what my mind was trying to convince me of, something to short circuit those thought processes that made drinking inevitable after a few days when I was feeling a bit better and the thoughts of "it will be different this time", "I can control my drinking" or "just the one won't hurt" crept in.

Some use SR, others meetings, but whatever it is, having support can make all the difference!!

Anna

Alcoholism is a progressive disease as you have found and it will continue to get worse unless you stop.

I think Day 3/4 is a tough time for most of us. It's a time when you start to feel better and the horrors of the last binge have receded a bit. I struggled to get past that point too. What worked for me in those early days was changing my routine. If you drink when you are alone (which I did) try to change that in some way. Plan to do something you would enjoy in the evenings when your daughter is sleeping. It might help.

Is your daughter home with you during the day? If so, you might check out some programs for Moms and Kids at your local library or join a Community Centre in your area which has pre-school programs that you can both participate in.

You can get past this!

SoberLeigh

Hi SunSetRed; I echo what purpleknight said; it sounds to me like you need to ramp-up your program. Have you read the information on this site about alcoholism and addiction; there is a wealth of information here. Have you considered AA, therapy? What about AVRT?

Sobriety needs to be high on your list in order to achieve success.

Keep posting. SR is open 24/7; there is always someone here.

(Just saw Anna's post which reminded me that, when my kids were small, Moms would post [the old-fashioned way] notices on bulletin boards in the grocery store for play-group start-ups.) might want to check those as you go by.

kirstensmith

I'm on day 1 this time around, but earlier this year, I made it to day 27. A few things helped me be successful - telling a couple of trusted people what I was doing, working out, and journalling about why I was quitting and how I was feeling about not drinking each day. For me personally, I started drinking wine more of out habit (and because I like it) and I need to break that habit and the cycle of abuse.

If you are currently not on any psych meds, you may want to talk to a Dr. about getting on some anxiety medication to help you get through the withdrawals. Sometimes, people drink to mask depression/anxiety and sometimes alcohol contributes to depression/anxiety.

I know you are having a tough time but hang in there with us and things will get better. Each and every day, you put behind you alcohol free will give you more freedom, better health, more money and better quality time with your family.

AlexEmk

Hi!

Glad you found this board and welcome!

Oh my dear god can I relate to your post!! it looks like my story!! My alone free nights without my girlfriend around, I would drink alot more then when I'm partying with poeple... even doubled it many times! Getting out of the sofa was the worst, then trying to walk until I crash in my bed, sometimes crawling was the only way...

And like some have already said... it only become worst within the months and the years...

And don't even think about just slowing down, it's the biggest lie that you can tell to yourself (as I did countless times before)

It's stopping all together that is your answer!

Set yourself a date, spend some time here reading on other stories, you will feel stronger!

Good luck on this battle!!

Sunsetred

Thanks everyone!

My daughter is at school, but the type of work I do means I work alone and so don't see many people through the day. Sometimes the only other adult I speak to will be my husband on the phone for 15 minutes a day.

AlexEmk, that is exactly what I do, I drink more alone than with others I can go to a party and remain quite sober or even be the driver, but alone I just drink and drink. I hate myself for doing it!

I've joined exercise groups in the past and it's lasted a few weeks but then I slip again.

There are a lot of problems in my marriage and we argue a lot when he's here, I honestly think we r only together still because of our circumstances at the moment.

Soberwolf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-hobbies.html

Hi Sunset maybe a new hobby will help here is a link

Alynn

This is how I abused alcohol! I would go for days- weeks between.. I would forgive myself and say this time it will be different... But no... I would drink everything I had also.. Bored and lonely are my biggest triggers... Joined SR, got into a support group at church, and going to a meeting tonight. 22 days and I never want to go back!

I can do all things through he who strengthens me

FreeOwl

well we share a lot in common in our stories.

I watched my binges getting worse... swore they wouldn't happen again.... horrified, continued to wake to find they had.

I also found that loneliness and isolation and boredom contributed.

Try to get onto SR and post and engage with folks. Consider getting to AA, it's a great way to have some social, in-person, real human support. It's also a good way to get a few numbers so you have someone to call from time to time who will understand and be supportive.

Consider taking up a new plan of action, shake up your routine. Go for a daily walk if you haven't already been doing that. Get a yoga dvd and spend an hour in the evenings when you'd normally be tempted to drink by focusing on self care. Learn about mediation and play with that along with yoga. Look for local activities that interest you that you might get involved with your child with. Get out of the house. Read. Try new things. This sobriety thing doesnt have to be hard and restricting.... in fact, if you let it, it is absolutely an open door to a whole rich new life!!

Make a list of some things that you've always wanted to try. Make a list of some simple things you might do at home.... start doing those things!!