PolarBlue

I had to borrow his camera for my ebay auctions since mine's MIA. He drinks even more than I do/did and I knew he'd have something. He has a wine cooler that always has a few bottles.

So we eat a couple burgers, he breaks open a bottle, and pours a glass. I kept looking at it. It looked good, but for some reason I wasn't really craving it. If he tried pushing some on me I may have caved. But luckily he didn't. I drank some coke and went home.

It was good to get out of the house for the first time in almost a week. I didn't really trust myself to do it. Maybe there's hope yet?

melki

I don't know where you are in your recovery, but this sounds a bit dangerous. It early recovery it helped me to have a plan for every situation where alcohol may have been present. Often the plan was simply "I will not drink anything alcoholic no matter what".

Resolv

Congratulations PolarBlue. We stay sober to fight another day. Keep posting these successes. These successes are what keeps all of us going. Thanks.

Dee74

Definitely good not to be a hermit

I wouldn't push it tho - try and stay away from places where you know'll there'll be alcohol, at least for a little while?

D

PolarBlue

To be honest, I didn't absolutely need the camera. I could have used my phone if necessary although the results wouldn't be as good.

I had to get out of the house. I'm about 6 days in and feeling depressed and anxious. Emotional. Stomach is still churning. Part of me thought of this as a test: Can I be around it and still be strong?

Luckily it all went well. Maybe it was dangerous. Maybe part of me wanted him to push a glass or three on me. Just glad to be home and still sober.

melki

Good for you, PolarBear! You can absolutely be strong. The choice to never pick up that first drink is completely and always within your power.

melki

Early recovery is rough. Take it easy on yourself. It gets better. Remember your reasons for doing it.

PolarBlue

That's kind of hard when everyone I hang around drinks. Although alcohol was present, I did feel less anxious being around someone familiar and talking.

I've been invited to a cookout Sunday where I know the beers will be flowing. That I'll pass on. Being around one person drinking who doesn't push it is different than a group event where everyone's drinking. Don't think I'm ready for that yet.

bigsombrero

Good job. "Success stories" like these are kind of like the "success stories" of those who played in the highway and didn't get hit by traffic. Good on you for surviving, but maybe not something you want to try again. Like others, I urge caution. At just six days in (congrats on that by the way), you are in the real early stages here.

We understand how you feel, man. We've been there. The first day I got out of rehab, I went to a bar...just to "test myself" and have lunch. I didn't drink, so I felt pretty proud of myself. But that's not a success story. That's a big mistake and I was lucky to escape. You're used to being around alcohol and there's a lot of learned behavior that will lead you to be around it. It's that behavior that contributes to part of the addiction problem, in my opinion. See if maybe you can change things up tomorrow...maybe go for a walk in the park, and stop by a cafe?

Sorry to come off like the grumpy old man here. I'm not. I'm in my 30's. Just want to see you give yourself a chance. Do what works for you.

Soberwolf

Hi polar blue

as much as i understand there is a lot of pitfalls and you said if he pushed it your way you may of caved ...this is unwise in early recovery because of how it made you feel

you said you wanted to get out of house ur feeling depressed anxious emotinal you said maybe i wanted him to push a glass or 3 on me ... now i get this but willingly testing yourself after a week when you feel this way around someone you know who drinks ?

you say its hard when everyone around you drinks ... maybe find some new friends or try to stay away from ppl drinking for at least a lil while

truth is you need to really recover here for this to suceed

doing the things your doing is way too dangerous way too risky re-read how the experience made you feel


i get it its tough but its only been a week your super fresh sober things like this so early on is unwise

pls dont think im being mean im saying this for your own good its too soon just keep on posting on sr build up your sober time and take it from there

wishing you all the best spk soon

PolarBlue

I know it could have ended badly. I think the company came before the "test".

Oddly enough, I get more cravings when I'm home alone thinking about how my life has crashed this week than I did there. It makes me wonder if I'm a true alcoholic or someone who suffers from depression, using the alcohol as medication. Are they one in the same? Not to sound in denial. I'm no psychiatrist. Just trying to figure it all out and get my life back.

melki

It really doesn't matter how you classify it now. The important thing is that alcohol has lead your life to crash and it's up to you where you take it from here.

Soberwolf

How about booking apt with doc/gp to talk about that more in depth ?

hope it all works out polar blue ... you can make lots of friends to stay in touch with ive suffered with depression and things like that

good luck polar

readerbaby71

There is always hope. Just don't pick up that first drink. Even now I find myself staying away from situations where I know I could be tempted. Good job on not drinking! Baby steps are still progress. xo

Dee74

It is very hard.

Everyone I knew drank - by the end, everyone I hung around with drank like me.

My old life was *all about drinking*.

I had to change everything if I wanted to stay sober.

I lost a lot of drinking buddies and a lot of hang outs - but I found out who my real friends were...and the sober life I've built is so much better.

I wasn;t a hermit but I picked my outings carefully.

I stayed away from social events involving alcohol until I was sure I preferred being sober and I could handle any situation.

It took a few months but I still consider that time a great investment in my continued recovery.

In the end you get out of your recovery what you put into it, PB.

D