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Old 09-17-2014, 05:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Sucky Day


Still sober... but weepy and sad today. My sister sent me a bunch of pictures of my dad. He died this time last year. We lost another family member too and my mother is an awful person who trotted off happy as could be with dad's money before he was cold.
So I am angry and sad and a mess today. I worked out hard and it helped some, but I feel like I have cried buckets.
I can't say a drink didn't cross my mind, but this would all just be distorted and worse if I fell into the bottle.
So I'm here. I'm happy I am not drinking. Life is good even when it's on the low end.
xo
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Old 09-17-2014, 05:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Sorry for your loss gratitude, sometimes everything feels a bit better after we've had a good cry....nothing wrong with letting go of the pent up emotions go a bit. Go and take a nice hot bath once you've cooled off from you work out.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:34 AM   #3 (permalink)
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sorry for your loss gratitude, getting through emotional times can be rough,
you are doing a great job
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I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:12 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Grat - I lost my sister on 9/11 and my mom a couple years ago and I know the anniversaries really can mess up your head. For me, the 9/11 anniversary is compounded by all the national attention as well. Congrats for not giving in to the drink. You are so right...it makes things worse.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:15 AM   #5 (permalink)
What's the world coming to when you can't trust an recovering alcoholic ex degenerate gambler huh ?
 
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i was caring for my mum w/ terminal cancer this time 5 years ago

gets better but i will always miss her

completly realate big hugs
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Old 09-17-2014, 10:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Very sorry for your loss Grat!! Hang in there!!
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Old 09-17-2014, 10:13 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Have you tried journaling your feelings? It might help to write things out as you move through this sad anniversary.
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Old 09-17-2014, 02:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey Anna and everyone,
Thanks, today already feels a bit brighter. I think I kind of got side swiped by the pics and a lot of bottled up emotions came out. I think it was probably a good and necessary thing for me. Anna, I have tried journaling... in some ways I just end up harping on stuff I am trying to let go. I think at some point soon I want to see a counselor as I need to let go of the anger that I am holding.
Sadie, so sorry for your losses too. I can't imagine losing a sibling. Losing a parent has been so hard. It's harder because he did not want to die, but in a way he would never let himself live either. Wolf - cancer is so awful - both of the people we lost last year faded away and it was so hard to see them go
Thanks everyone.
Beth
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Old 09-17-2014, 03:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I had a lot of pent up emotions that were released in a rush when I got sober - it was a little overwhelming but it also felt good to engage with these feelings and not run from them.

I'm glad you feel better today gratitude28

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