Itsmytime1234

Been slipping lately.....not sure why. Starting to realize that even if your happier sober and you've got some time under your belt you still need to wake up every single day and tell yourself today I'm not going to drink. It is so easy to forget and then you find yourself going into the same routine you swore you never would get yourself into again . And it just feels worse and worse everytime . But ya gotta not beat yourself into the ground . It's a lifelong fight. One that I'm not quitting

Thepatman

I often my sobriety to a flower. If I stop tendering it and watering it daily it will just die.

Have you considered adding something to your recovery plan? Some need a bit more then others.

PurpleKnight

I found that's what support is useful for, are you doing it on sheer willpower?

The problem with our minds, is that they want to drink, that's the addiction part of the brain, so we need something outside of ourselves to give us a second opinion on things, short circuit those thought processes!!

Dee74

I think it's important to keep adding to whatever our recovery plan is until it's 100% efficient itsmytime

what are you doing for your recovery these days?

D

Soberwolf

I love this thread

Itsmytime1234

Well I'm seeing a therapist but I can only afford to go once every 6 weeks. I'm not really sure what else I can do. Any suggestions? Books? I don't know I'm at a loss. I'm good for a few months then I slip up. Luckily I've managed to not get into any trouble. But I just get so low after one of these slips and my anxiety is out of control. I didn't sleep more then two hours last night I was having a meltdown with regret and Shame

Dee74

I think you let the AV answer there

You've been around long enough to know there's always options itsmytime, if you're prepared to do them


* Meeting based recovery groups?

* posting more here?

* reaching out for help before not after you drink

* changing those aspects of your lifestyle that tend to lead you back to drinking?

I'm sure you can think of others too

D

PurpleKnight

SR is a great tool for support, you mentioned reminding yourself everyday not to drink!!

When I got Sober I intentionally built in checking out SR each morning with my morning coffee, just to set up that mindset, reading the threads of other members, especially those that were new to the Forum gave me a healthy dose of reality with regards picking up alcohol again, as I say it got me outside of all the myths/lies my mind was probably going to tell me as the day went on!!

Something simple but very effective!!

neferkamichael

Itsmytime1234, the addicted side of us is just as powerful as the sober side and every time it gets a chance it's gonna trick us into using. Yes please, don't beat yourself up to much, because it'll just make ya feel worse and more vulnerable to using, rootin for ya.

Itsmytime1234

Thanks guys .... I know I need to step u my game. Thanks for the love and support

Itsmytime1234

I just want to let everyone know that going into your history of posts and re reading things you said and felt really puts things into perspective. I just wish u had do e it a few days earlier. Buts it's all there, the same feelings the same bs. This is like a merry go round . And you'll never get off until u quit .

Itsmytime1234

I wish I had done it a few days earlier*

gratitude28

I am with you, Itsmy time. You do need to nurture and love your sobriety. I got to thinking too much - wondering why other people weren't like me. Truth? It doesn't matter why. It just is. We need to do what is good for us.
xo
Grat

housecat09

Hey there itsmytime, maybe you should keep something close to hand when you wake up that would remind you of the really crap and stupid things we do when drunk (well i do anyways ) and like that other person said, check this forum upon rising.
I for example have a little bit of wood by my bedroom door, a little bit of wood that used to be a chair.

good luck!

Itsmytime1234

I found this book it's called 12 stupid things that mess up recovery, and it's really great it talks a lot about self hatred and things we do to sabotage ourselves. I've always been a happy positive person so I never looked at it like, oh I'm messing this up for myself. I know it's a disease that can really be controlled in a sense but u can make it easier in urself or harder . Seems like a great book for anyone struggling with relapse

Mountainmanbob

I understand what you are saying
you remind me of me
for so many times I deceived myself -- yet again

with time doing the right things -- making good decisions
we learn to keep an eye on the one in the mirror

MM

Jupiters

it's so unfortunate that counselling/therapy is so bloody expensive everywhere. Even in Canada, our mental health resources are lacking severely. My city has a huge addiction/homeless issue and not enough resources. It's sad and frustrating for those that WANT and need help - we often get stuck in a cycle of red tape or just not able to be helped due to financial strain.
I'm lucky - I am half native so have my Indian status here which has allowed me access to 15 sessions with a counsellor. After those 15??? I'm on my own.

ElleDee

Me too!