SlickRick07

I'm 25 and b/c of my circumstances, I still live at home. I live in a very small town. I have a couple of close friends, but they all have obligations and can never do anything. I spend all of my my free time, laying in the basement. This makes my depression worse. I start school next week, which I'm greatful for, it'll get me out of the house. I'm also into bodybuilding and go to the gym 5x a week. But, that is only for a few hours. I'm still not over my last relationship for some reason. I've tried to meet new women, but to no avail. The longer I spend in my house alone, the more depressed I seem to get. I don't know what I'm really expecting to hear. I cannot change my environment yet b/c I have no finished school nor do I have the funds to move out. Just want to vent a little bit and hear some suggestions and maybe feel like someone cares.

Anna

Hi,

It sounds like going back to school will be a good thing for you, plus it should give you a chance to meet some new friends. And, exercise, too, is a good idea. Have you considered talking to a therapist or to your dr? It's possible you could be depressed.

SlickRick07

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it. I've gotten away from where I live for a week before and have felt a million times better. I've never talked to a therapist b/c I figured my depression was situational more so than anything. Some days I feel amazing on top of the world, other days I feel like the lowest human being. Its been this way since about 10th grade of high school. I've always gone from the highest highs to the lowest lows.

Ruby2

I'd try talking to a therapist if you can. Even if it's situational, it might help. Explore why you have the highs and lows.

Is there any reason you stay in the basement? If yours is anything like mine I find it depressing to go down there. Maybe you are needing privacy or time along but maybe you are seeking that too much?

Once you are back in school why not study on campus if you can. That way there are other people around. Or join a study group for a particular class. Back in the stone ages when I was in school I enjoyed the give and take discussions with the other people. If there isn't a study group maybe form one?

Good luck. It passes. I get depressed fairly regularly and it does pass. For me I just need to occupy myself.

MythOfSisyphus

School should be a big help. You'll be around lots of other people, right around your own age. It will get you out of the house, give you something to do, help your social life and give you some purpose. It's easy to fall into a funk when you're not doing anything "useful". While it might seem nice to be able to kick back and do nothing most people crave some kind of activity and purpose.

FeelingGreat

Slick, i suffer from depression as well and i know that feeling of wanting to hide away. I'm sure school will help, but give some thought to your situation at home. Are you passively accepting board and lodgings from your parents and not giving anything back?

My suggestion is to put yourself out for them, maybe find a project to do up a part of the house or garden, or cook for them once a week, make them a picnic etc. If you're not doing this now, you'd be surprised how the positive feedback and goodwill helps. Re the mood swings; it's well worth talking to a doctor about them.

PurpleKnight

It took me a while to meet new people after my drinking buddies went by the way side, but finding out what I was interested in and meeting people with the same interests was a great way forward!!

School should provide plenty of opportunities, hang in there!!

Funtimefranky

Just wanted to say hi. School will definitely keep you busy and give you an opportunity to make new friends. Keep smiling.

SlickRick07

Funds are a little tight right now but I think I would greatly benefit from talking to a therapist. I'm going to try sobriety again that will only help. I'm hoping I'll feel a lot better next week once I start school. I sleep in the basement so I'm stuck there for now. My depression always gets worse the longer I stay at home. I'm just incredibly lonely and that spawns my depression and drinking. Everyone I've dated has made me feel like I was nobody. I just need to force myself to get out more. Even if it is alone.

gettingbetter64

I'm going back to school in a few weeks to. I know the loneliness makes you want to drink. It makes me want to drink. The problem with that is it doesn't help. I only have a few friends, I feel lonely probably every day. It's painful,the guys I've been with also treated me like crap which obviously made me want to drink more. It's hard for me to just go out. I have anxiety including social anxiety. I just wanted you to know your not alone. The best thing you can do for yourself is to try to better yourself a little more everyday.

bunnezjp

Hi Slick,
I'm early in my sobriety, 33, been sleeping at my parents house the last 3 months, although my condo is 5min down the road. I'm not working right now, and I'm not very social. My last relationship ended last year, and I'm not actively seeking a new mate. And I work out. Several x a week,too, and you're right, it takes up time but not the whole day. I'm working with what I have. Try to let things fall into place, and when you start school, you will have a positive focus. Go to the library or campus to study, if not to interact with people, then just to be around people. You don't ever have to be alone.

Bunnez

smc92va

I'm feeling very much the same way. I can't even seem to interact with my daughter normally. Because of work and my past two failed relationships on with an active alcoholic and the most current that just ended was with someone who was in recovery (first yr of) from heroin, I have very much socially isolated myself. I also lost my only sibling8 yrs ago to an Oxy overdose. I really feel like I don't know how to relate to "normal" people. Shiny happy people annoy me and make me feel even more displaced. I feel like I don't even really fit in with my Nar-Anon group. The feeling of loneliness coupled with some current health issues involving serious chronic pain have left me feeling empty. When I do truly feel anything, it's overwhelming sadness. I'm sorry I have no real advice to give, but I just wanted you to know you are not alone out there as far as your feelings go.

smc92va

And other than going through a little pothead phase in my late 20s/early 30s( I'm now 39 with 40 approaching very quickly) I've always lived a sober lifestyle. I wish sobriety was the key to happiness bc I'd be the happiest ******* person around. But alas, it has not been.

SlickRick07

Thanks for the advice everyone. I never realized how common loneliness is. I'm definitely going to focus on self-improvement and getting everything back on the right track. I decided I'm going to start forcing myself to get out of the house more and see a movie or just go for a walk.

smc92va

I'm going to try to do the same - fake it till we make it sorta.

SlickRick07

I think we'll both be better for it

Sasha4

Today I could not bear the thought of being in my house all day and evening on my own.
I went to a shopping centre, bought some food bits and bobs, then went for lunch by myself.
I bought a few magazines to read while I ate.

It really did do me good.
I was not at home staring at 4 walls.
Just a change of scene helped.

For me, thats something I am going to do more often.
Maybe something for you to try too.

I wish you the best xx

sharpdistance

Would it be possible for you to get a part time job (I know in very small towns jobs aren't always plentiful)? Sharing a job always gives you things to talk about with your coworkers which can lead to new friendship or at least workplace camaraderie. Are there any fitness classes you're interested in at your gym? It's hard when you don't have many close friends, but just being around people you can talk to can be a comfort if you're lonely.