Ruby2

Ditto what Fandy said. You don't need a babysitter. You can do this. You cared enough about the job to apply and consider relocating to Spain. Don't let your parents rain on your parade.

I have read many of your posts about your parents and family and I agree with a lot of the other posters on here. That your parents are trying to control you and want to keep you as "little girl Tetra." That is so damaging to your self esteem and I should know as I have experienced this all my life. Little girl Ruby. My parents want to take care of me, to not see me get hurt, to not make mistakes that will lead me to being hurt. But it's my life, not theirs. I am grateful for what they have done for me but on the other hand I have been extremely insecure about my abilities for too long because my parents second guessed a lot of what I did. Especially my father.

So, tell your dad "thank you, but I'm interviewing." Prepare for the interview. Don't second guess your abilities. Sell yourself. Above all, DO NOT be afraid of success! Good luck!

Jupiters

I wouldn't even tell them. Just do it.

Tiptree

Do the interview at the very least, then work out the details depending on the outcome and offer. Your parents have nothing to do with this interview, or any potential job offer. You did the work, it's yours.

Dee74

I say go for it, Tetra

D

Nuudawn

In your excitement, you told them... and naturally, hoped for their "approval". You didn't get it. For that, you have my empathy. In an ideal world, our loved ones would be happy for our happiness and not piddle on our parade.

You do not need their approval nor permission to pursue this opportunity. You need to let go of your desire for it. Yup, you do.

Sobriety is very much about growing up. At least that's what it feels like to me...for me.

Your folks are gonna be your folks. Who you gonna be?

Croissant

Tetra, you getting a job threatens your parents life purpose - to continually hold your hand. If you go, they will have to go with you? Ummm, no. They are not invited.

In fact, I think your sobriety is safer without them around. I never talk to my family about any job ventures or plans. I don't want to hear anything, good or bad....I want to learn to follow my gut on things. That's how you build confidence. Even mistakes aren't mistakes, career wise - you learn from them.

Can you do the Skype interview somewhere else? I can just see them trying to rattle you beforehand. Please, it's time you told them to butt out.

Talk to your therapist about this. Please.

KissMyTiara

Tetra, I've read your threads for a long time. What I gather is at your age and your complaints about your parents is you really don't want to leave. Or you would have! There is nothing holding you back except YOU.

You have been told over and over to grow up and move on. But you refuse. It sounds like a rather sick co dependence that will only get worse over time, more that it is now.

Make a choice. Seriously Tetra, this will sound bad but don't complain and get support over and over when you can do something about it. You sound strong one moment and then pitiful the next.

DO IT!!!!

Nowsthetime

This is great news! I really hope that it works out for you. Use the negativity as fuel for your sobriety.

Keep us posted!

MsJax

Congratulations on getting your interview Tetra . Fantastic! Please stop allowing your parents to manipulate you. Go fly! And if that interview doesn't work out keep on!

Soberpotamus

Congrats on the interview! I say go for it! Sounds like the connection your parents have with you isn't a good one. Don't let anything tie you to people who make you feel bad. Follow your heart.

Tetra

Thank you all for your help and advice.

Yes, I will do the interview. I am installing trying to install Skype on my laptop as we speak. I'm having a problem with the internal microphone.

Yes, I discuss my relationship with my parents a lot with my therapist. And he has said similar things to me like you guys have said. I know I have to push myself and it is something I have to work on.

instant

Part of getting sober for me came to be facing up to "my" issues- we can only let people do things to us if we let them. It's hard but I think we can all grow and develop no matter how old we are.

afloatsober

Do it Tetra.
You might get the job and it may be the start of something wonderful.I am not sure that your parents reaction should be attributed to just 'worry'. It seems like something rather more unhealthy than that.
At 33 it seems to me that you may have to break free somehow before things become untenable and your life is sacrificed further on the alter of Mum and Dad.
I have a feeling that your healthy moving on will be tougher for them than it is for you....
This job interview could be your opportunity.
I should grasp it.
Wishing you well.
G

Tetra

Thank you all for everything.

I know I really have to get out of here now. I can't cope any more.

My mom isn't even in this country and she is still getting under my skin.

For example: my brother is getting married this New Years's Eve. I was talking to his fiancee this morning to arrange accommodation for us, as the rooms will get booked up quickly. My dad mentioned to my mom that I had booked two rooms for the three of us and she said to him "is it safe to let her have the room on her own? What if she drinks again?"

It's comments like the above that leave me filled with rage.

In spite of every bad thing I have done in the past, I would not dream of ruining their special day.

LBrain

what if you walk out the door and take a bus into town and drink again?

you seriously need to become an independent person. they are smothering you

Soberpotamus

Sounds like your sanity and sobriety may depend on you getting away from them. I'd seriously consider leaving as soon as possible if I were you, Tetra. I've read so many of your posts where your parents' influence is not doing you much good at all.

Good luck to you on preparing a place of your own. You can do it

songthread

Hey Tetra, I was excited for you when I read this post! You should definitely interview for the job....and if it's offered, go for it. Sounds very exciting, a new place and a new purpose with employment. Even if you're away, you'll always "be there" for your parents and they will always be there for you. It may be hard for them to accept, if you get the job and move away, but they'll love you regardless.

soberjuly

Yes, go for it. You seem too invested in what your parents think. Someone suggested it's time to put the "little girl Tetra" away and I agree. Even your avatar, a bunny leaning on a carrot, is on the juvenile side. You don't need the carrot to lean on, you can do this thing called life. It's very cute but you need to be a lion right now! Your parents may not want you to leave.

Fandy

Please tell me what country your mother is in.....because I want to be sure I never go there.
Sheesh, she makes me angry and I have never met her.
Tetra, you had one small slip in a very long 8 + months under all this smothering mothering.
Focus on how much you have accomplished, not the slip.
Your mother likes to dig at you ?

Jupiters

I don't know you from a hole in the wall - but reading your threads is exasperating! I'm sorry
I don't know how you do it - but the hold your parents have on you and your life is unhealthy. At 33??
You MUST find a way to move out, the sooner the better. I hope you do the interview and I hope you get it! LOL

she's questioning whether it's "safe" for her 33 yr daughter to have her own room?
this just is beyond "parenting"..it's not OK.