Drinking makes it Okay.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: mountain states, Montana and Wyoming
Posts: 246
Drinking makes it Okay.
Have had some sober experiences and have been able to reflect upon a few things in life. One is drinking make most things okay. It makes putting off doing virtually anything of substance and positive consequence okay. It makes you eat whatever you want whenever you want all okay. It lets you make the choice to not take care of your personal appearance and body, well, okay. It will all be okay when you drink too much, because all that matters is the feeling of not being okay.
Not even close to winning this battle yet, but I am on the right track. I am shocked to see the state of disrepair in my life because for the last several years. I never took the time to let my brain dry out and think. It is not okay to put everything off because there is a hangover to deal with, and there is always tomorrow. It is not okay to not experience what life has to offer with a clear brain.
Pride can be a killer of man/woman. But pride correctly placed is a great thing. I lost my pride in my appearance, and replaced it with being productive INSPITE of being drunk a lot of the time. Why in the hell would a person take price in killing themselves? I always had a lot of pride in being able to drink til 2 a.m. and be at work at 5:30 and get a lot done. Why not just not drink, and be even more productive without the pain and misery?
One more thing in this thing I am dealing with. I have a great wife and kids, really great and they worry about me, but why hasn't anyone in my last 25years of abusing myself ever said, "hey you are looking rough, maybe you should back off the drink." I never kept it a secret I drank, I was the guy who had the parties with the top shelf liquor and would pick up the tab at long nights of drinking in the pub. Is it because people don't really care? I mean I have awesome parents, but not once did they ever tell me to back off. I have colleagues and business associates and not once did any of them say, hey I am glad you were still able to conduct business after 30 beers, but maybe you should back off a little.
I think an explanation for the above people not intervening could be because I took so damn much pride in being able to be a drinker. Now, I look at myself through sober eyes and see a lot of need for improvement. Health is number one, relationships are number two, and joy is number three.
The main reason I want to keep sober is because I have lost everything in my life that creates joy. It has all been replaced with drinking while I do everything, and the drink STEALS the joy. Fishing is a blast sober, but when drinking beer, the beer takes the top priority. Gardening is a lot of fun when you can actually weed a whole plot before you succumb to sitting in a chair and finishing off the 30 pack. Watching a video is fun when you understand how it ends and don't stop the movie to just sit and finish the case. Golf is a great sport when you are sober enough to complete the second nine and you are not worried about the beer getting either warm or having to go get more. You cant buy joy, it is not for sale. But you can relearn how to engage joy and have it become a part of your life.
I have had a lot of time to think lately, with a sober brain and these are a few of my thoughts. I am certainly at the beginning of this journey and may have a lot more problems to contend with, but I feel good about being able to think clearly and to get joy back in my life.
Makes me feel better to have to put it on paper, I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I went to mass this morning with a sober brain, first time in forever I did not sit there and seethe in my hangover while sweating out last nights beer, hoping the people next to me did not smell the beer.
Not even close to winning this battle yet, but I am on the right track. I am shocked to see the state of disrepair in my life because for the last several years. I never took the time to let my brain dry out and think. It is not okay to put everything off because there is a hangover to deal with, and there is always tomorrow. It is not okay to not experience what life has to offer with a clear brain.
Pride can be a killer of man/woman. But pride correctly placed is a great thing. I lost my pride in my appearance, and replaced it with being productive INSPITE of being drunk a lot of the time. Why in the hell would a person take price in killing themselves? I always had a lot of pride in being able to drink til 2 a.m. and be at work at 5:30 and get a lot done. Why not just not drink, and be even more productive without the pain and misery?
One more thing in this thing I am dealing with. I have a great wife and kids, really great and they worry about me, but why hasn't anyone in my last 25years of abusing myself ever said, "hey you are looking rough, maybe you should back off the drink." I never kept it a secret I drank, I was the guy who had the parties with the top shelf liquor and would pick up the tab at long nights of drinking in the pub. Is it because people don't really care? I mean I have awesome parents, but not once did they ever tell me to back off. I have colleagues and business associates and not once did any of them say, hey I am glad you were still able to conduct business after 30 beers, but maybe you should back off a little.
I think an explanation for the above people not intervening could be because I took so damn much pride in being able to be a drinker. Now, I look at myself through sober eyes and see a lot of need for improvement. Health is number one, relationships are number two, and joy is number three.
The main reason I want to keep sober is because I have lost everything in my life that creates joy. It has all been replaced with drinking while I do everything, and the drink STEALS the joy. Fishing is a blast sober, but when drinking beer, the beer takes the top priority. Gardening is a lot of fun when you can actually weed a whole plot before you succumb to sitting in a chair and finishing off the 30 pack. Watching a video is fun when you understand how it ends and don't stop the movie to just sit and finish the case. Golf is a great sport when you are sober enough to complete the second nine and you are not worried about the beer getting either warm or having to go get more. You cant buy joy, it is not for sale. But you can relearn how to engage joy and have it become a part of your life.
I have had a lot of time to think lately, with a sober brain and these are a few of my thoughts. I am certainly at the beginning of this journey and may have a lot more problems to contend with, but I feel good about being able to think clearly and to get joy back in my life.
Makes me feel better to have to put it on paper, I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I went to mass this morning with a sober brain, first time in forever I did not sit there and seethe in my hangover while sweating out last nights beer, hoping the people next to me did not smell the beer.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sussex UK
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by herradura 
Have had some sober experiences and have been able to reflect upon a few things in life. One is drinking make most things okay. It makes putting off doing virtually anything of substance and positive consequence okay. It makes you eat whatever you want whenever you want all okay. It lets you make the choice to not take care of your personal appearance and body, well, okay. It will all be okay when you drink too much, because all that matters is the feeling of not being okay.
Not even close to winning this battle yet, but I am on the right track. I am shocked to see the state of disrepair in my life because for the last several years. I never took the time to let my brain dry out and think. It is not okay to put everything off because there is a hangover to deal with, and there is always tomorrow. It is not okay to not experience what life has to offer with a clear brain.
Pride can be a killer of man/woman. But pride correctly placed is a great thing. I lost my pride in my appearance, and replaced it with being productive INSPITE of being drunk a lot of the time. Why in the hell would a person take price in killing themselves? I always had a lot of pride in being able to drink til 2 a.m. and be at work at 5:30 and get a lot done. Why not just not drink, and be even more productive without the pain and misery?
One more thing in this thing I am dealing with. I have a great wife and kids, really great and they worry about me, but why hasn't anyone in my last 25years of abusing myself ever said, "hey you are looking rough, maybe you should back off the drink." I never kept it a secret I drank, I was the guy who had the parties with the top shelf liquor and would pick up the tab at long nights of drinking in the pub. Is it because people don't really care? I mean I have awesome parents, but not once did they ever tell me to back off. I have colleagues and business associates and not once did any of them say, hey I am glad you were still able to conduct business after 30 beers, but maybe you should back off a little.
I think an explanation for the above people not intervening could be because I took so damn much pride in being able to be a drinker. Now, I look at myself through sober eyes and see a lot of need for improvement. Health is number one, relationships are number two, and joy is number three.
The main reason I want to keep sober is because I have lost everything in my life that creates joy. It has all been replaced with drinking while I do everything, and the drink STEALS the joy. Fishing is a blast sober, but when drinking beer, the beer takes the top priority. Gardening is a lot of fun when you can actually weed a whole plot before you succumb to sitting in a chair and finishing off the 30 pack. Watching a video is fun when you understand how it ends and don't stop the movie to just sit and finish the case. Golf is a great sport when you are sober enough to complete the second nine and you are not worried about the beer getting either warm or having to go get more. You cant buy joy, it is not for sale. But you can relearn how to engage joy and have it become a part of your life.
I have had a lot of time to think lately, with a sober brain and these are a few of my thoughts. I am certainly at the beginning of this journey and may have a lot more problems to contend with, but I feel good about being able to think clearly and to get joy back in my life.
Makes me feel better to have to put it on paper, I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I went to mass this morning with a sober brain, first time in forever I did not sit there and seethe in my hangover while sweating out last nights beer, hoping the people next to me did not smell the beer.
Not even close to winning this battle yet, but I am on the right track. I am shocked to see the state of disrepair in my life because for the last several years. I never took the time to let my brain dry out and think. It is not okay to put everything off because there is a hangover to deal with, and there is always tomorrow. It is not okay to not experience what life has to offer with a clear brain.
Pride can be a killer of man/woman. But pride correctly placed is a great thing. I lost my pride in my appearance, and replaced it with being productive INSPITE of being drunk a lot of the time. Why in the hell would a person take price in killing themselves? I always had a lot of pride in being able to drink til 2 a.m. and be at work at 5:30 and get a lot done. Why not just not drink, and be even more productive without the pain and misery?
One more thing in this thing I am dealing with. I have a great wife and kids, really great and they worry about me, but why hasn't anyone in my last 25years of abusing myself ever said, "hey you are looking rough, maybe you should back off the drink." I never kept it a secret I drank, I was the guy who had the parties with the top shelf liquor and would pick up the tab at long nights of drinking in the pub. Is it because people don't really care? I mean I have awesome parents, but not once did they ever tell me to back off. I have colleagues and business associates and not once did any of them say, hey I am glad you were still able to conduct business after 30 beers, but maybe you should back off a little.
I think an explanation for the above people not intervening could be because I took so damn much pride in being able to be a drinker. Now, I look at myself through sober eyes and see a lot of need for improvement. Health is number one, relationships are number two, and joy is number three.
The main reason I want to keep sober is because I have lost everything in my life that creates joy. It has all been replaced with drinking while I do everything, and the drink STEALS the joy. Fishing is a blast sober, but when drinking beer, the beer takes the top priority. Gardening is a lot of fun when you can actually weed a whole plot before you succumb to sitting in a chair and finishing off the 30 pack. Watching a video is fun when you understand how it ends and don't stop the movie to just sit and finish the case. Golf is a great sport when you are sober enough to complete the second nine and you are not worried about the beer getting either warm or having to go get more. You cant buy joy, it is not for sale. But you can relearn how to engage joy and have it become a part of your life.
I have had a lot of time to think lately, with a sober brain and these are a few of my thoughts. I am certainly at the beginning of this journey and may have a lot more problems to contend with, but I feel good about being able to think clearly and to get joy back in my life.
Makes me feel better to have to put it on paper, I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I went to mass this morning with a sober brain, first time in forever I did not sit there and seethe in my hangover while sweating out last nights beer, hoping the people next to me did not smell the beer.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Cambridge, MA
Posts: 48
I can relate so much to what you wrote, especially because I've always been functioning. I excelled in college, and I've recently been promoted at a pretty stressful job. I would often stay up late, wake up with the shakes and the sweats and be right at my desk at 7:30 am. I competed in road races and often finished near the front, all while dizzy and nauseous from last night's 3 bottles of wine.
The obstacle I'm running into is that I've associated all of my hobbies with getting plastered. In fact, I think I used the hobbies as a reason to drink. I was never present when I was drinking. Even with friends, and that became infrequent at the end, I hid in plain sight behind my bottle. I would even turn down being social because I wanted to get messed up by myself on my terms.
As a young man just starting on the rocky path to stability, your post reminds me that I'm not alone in this. Thank you.
The obstacle I'm running into is that I've associated all of my hobbies with getting plastered. In fact, I think I used the hobbies as a reason to drink. I was never present when I was drinking. Even with friends, and that became infrequent at the end, I hid in plain sight behind my bottle. I would even turn down being social because I wanted to get messed up by myself on my terms.
As a young man just starting on the rocky path to stability, your post reminds me that I'm not alone in this. Thank you.
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