End of day 20
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 479
End of day 20
Hi all. As I was getting ready for bed tonight the thought "I'm so happy that I'm sober" popped into my head. Well, it was also a feeling too, a very happy and content feeling. After my binge relapse last month I've been feeling really lousy and having a difficult time coming to terms with being sober. Today I feel like I've turned a huge corner and have accepted the fact that I can no longer drink. My AV has been very strong lately, but I've been working on my plan to stay sober and learning new ways to combat it. I finally feel like I have some semblance of a tool box! After feeling so incredibly down for so long, I'm embracing this peaceful feeling and contributing it all to my working on being sober. Thanks for letting me share this joy!
. No matter how much I have a craving or get stressed out or angry with myself or others and want to drink. I'm always so happy at the end of the day I didn't.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 479
Thanks guys! Woke up to day 21 and still feeling good! I was feeling so incredibly low, and the AV was talking all the time, but I waited it out and kept working at it with the hope that one day I would fully embrace being sober. My impatience was at an all time high, but I worked at that, and now I know I can make it through and feel stronger with this knowledge. I know not everyday will feel perfect and that I'm very new in my sobriety, but this feeling is so darn good right now and I will do whatever I can to keep hanging onto it! To nurture my sobriety, to watch it grow, and to be patient with the process. A joyous and sober day to you all!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Yes, Rachelle, there's no way around it, but to get through it, and you did it. I was at exactly the 21 day point, when I stopped and heaved a sigh of relief because the voice had finally quieted and I felt more sane than I had in years.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 479
Yes, Anna, I know what you mean about feeling more sane than you had in years. Boy do I know! And I've spent a lot of time wondering just what exactly people meant when they said "you have to just go through something to get over it." Guess my brain was focusing on the literal meaning of the words "going through;" I just kept imagining a waterfall. Now I feel like I walked down a long dark corridor and have passed over the threshold to the other side. I think I wanted a tangible doorway that I could touch so I could feel different. Instead, I've learned that the only "tangible" part of the experience were my physical actions to work towards moving forward. I signed onto SR and read everyday, I went to meetings everyday, I reached out to those in the rooms and my friends everyday. I just physically DID something everyday, and while it didn't feel like it at the time, it worked! All of those actions have helped to push me forward into the next phase, step, part, whatever of my recovery. And for that I am so thankful!
Now, while I work through the next step, the big trick will be to remember all of this! After drinking for 20 years, my memory isn't so good... Oh! And to work more on developing patience!
Now, while I work through the next step, the big trick will be to remember all of this! After drinking for 20 years, my memory isn't so good... Oh! And to work more on developing patience!
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